We are watching who?
by Zombie Executioner
Summary: Inspired by JC of the Corn's Endless Possibilities of Jaune Arc. The Rwby cast watches Jaune Arc's different realities.
1. Here we go

**I OWN NOTHING! And I have to apologize for the errors I thought everyone meant the title. I'll take responsibility on that for not checking also a little heads up the next chapter will be dropping soon! Sorry writers block is a major problem right now. Be on the look out everyone!**

It was a normal day in Beacon Academy, well as normal as you can get with a man walking across the school grounds unauthorized. He was 5'8 with a look that just seemed to spell insanity, yet his aura was calming, he was wearing loose blue jean pants and black boots. He wore a black T-shirt. His skin was tanned and his eyes dark brown. His hair as black as the night. "Ah let's get this party started." He said as he walked into the school and headed to the ampitheatre.

Team RWBY, CFVY, and CRDL were sitting in the amphitheatre. Professor Goodwitch Along with Professor Ozpin were awaiting the intruder to make it to where they were, but he disappeared the moment he stepped in along with Jaune Arc. It was worrying. All of Jaunes friends were worried while CRDL just wanted to pay him back for the event at Forever Fall.

"Ok this is stupid." Cardin said angrily "If he was so much if a man he woul-" "HEY KIDS YOU WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!" Cardin didn't get to finish as the mystery man phased through the wall right next to making him scream along with all the students present. "Stop screaming" Goodwitch Yelled after a few good minutes. Then she turned to the man "And you where is my-" she also didn't get to finish as he started "Good everyone is here now let's get started!Then he picked up both Goodwitch and Ozpin and threw them into chairs as the screen came down. "Oh by the way your watching your friend Jaune bye!" He said as phased through the walll. All was silent until the screen lit up and they saw the first reality. Yang finally spoke up "what just happened?"

**Yeah I know I'm not good at comedy but hey it's time to learn right? Anywho what should the first realities should there be? Because I already have the first few, so send in your suggestions. And if you have any advice send it my way thank you.**


	2. Mailers beat down and fighting dirty

**I STILL OWN NOTHING! ALSO I'LL BE MAKING THIS CHAPTER AS LONG AS I CAN HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY IT!**

Everyone in the room was utterly confused at what just happened. They found out where their friend went and now the were watching something about him? The more concerning part was the guy who LITERALLY phased through the wall and appears to be insane. What exactly have they got dragged into. Weiss was to busy trying to figure out who the idiot was while Ruby was worried about Jaune. Well she would be if she didn't hear a pop sound and looked behind her.

"Boo" said the stranger. Ruby jumped to high that he could have sworn she beat the world record in the standing long jump. Everyone, after hearing him say boo and seeing Ruby dive towards Yang in fear, turned to him with anger to finally get answers. Or so they thought if he didn't have a fucking CHAINSAW!

"Jesus Ruby I wasn't trying to hurt ya. Scare yes hurt no and yes I have a chainsaw I'm hunting a stupid dancing clown right now." Said the stranger

"Who are you and what did you do to Jaune?!" Screamed Phyrra

"Calm down Leionidas he is fine, I'm just hear to give you the run down on what I'm doing here." He said passively and with a simple smile

"And that is what exactly?" Asked Dove

"Well you are watching alternate realities of Jaune Arc!" He said Joyfully

"We are watching who and WHAT!" Screamed Weiss

"You heard me snow queen, anyway the rules are simple as long as you are in here time has stopped flowing for everyone else, and before you ask Ruby no you won't age in here. You are essentially in a limbo state so you will be perfectly fine. Also whatever food or perhaps meal can be summoned by simply thinking about it. Also if you have a drink it will automatically refill I have you covered Ozpin. Also if you break one thing in here it will be instantly repaired, Goodwitch needs a break, and before any of you even dare ask no I am not a God, I am simply an immortal that has the powers to manipulate the universe to my whim." Said the man

"That is exactly what a God is you imbecile" says Goodwitch

"Like the gods of light and dark?" Said the man

Ozpin and Goodwitch froze. How did he know that? who was he? what will he do? Will he reveal their secret?

"I can answer all four of your questions. One I am Zex, get your minds out of the gutter. Two I have been here before those two idiots started acting like that. Three I will tell them and I will do nothing horrible to anyone. So calm down Ozpin you are not in trouble with me. Unlike others I don't hate you for hat you are doing. You just didn't need the fine print. Now everything else yes I would love to knock your ass through several universes. But I'm not going to do that, you were young and stupid. Everyone makes mistakes you just don't understand what to do." Zex stated

"Wait what are you talking about?" Asked Nora

"I don't do the whole long story stuff so I'll just snap it into your heads." Said Zex as he snapped his fingers

Suddenly everyone sees what he means, from when Ozpin first met Salem all the way to today. While they were furious there was a secret war, they understood why Ozpin kept it secret. C'mon they maybe teenagers but they understood that a secret like this was pretty dangerous to let out into the public. Even Cardin agreed that Ozpin was right about hiding it. They also see he went the wrong way with the relics. Why put them in the academies when he could've put them where not even Salem would look.

"Now that is out of the way, I do have a gift Ozzy." He said as his eyes glowed white

Ozpin felt something he hasn't felt in a long time, mortal, he just smiled in happiness.

"Thank you, but what about Salem?" He asked

"Oh if you're gonna be mortal I'm making her mortal as well. Those two idiots didn't think about lovestruck people and free will. Seriously they gave you free will. It's not your fault that she loved you so much." He said with a smile

"Okay but why are you here exactly? I mean if you could do all this stuff then why are you doing this?" Asked Weiss

"One I was bored with nothing to do and noticed this got mess and fix it. Two to show you different realities of your friend and give y'all a good old fashion break." Said Zex

"No quit your blabbering and get ready for two realities yes I said two." Zex stated

"Is it because you stopped updating due to writers block and felt insecure about your stories?" Asked Nora confusing everyone

"Yes Nora now stop breaking the fourth wall, the readers will have to deal with my stupidity as much as it is already." Said Zex telepathically

**The reality began with what appeared to be nothing but a destroyed room. Saphron Arc was behind her brother Jaune who was shirtless stating down his enemy. Sloth was preparing to charge and end this stupid humans life and kill that wretched woman.**

Everyone's mind was instatnly on Jaune. Cardin had a new found respect for Jaune. He wielded a mace which is very heavy. While have tremendous strength was a good thing he was happy to see his rival, in his eyes for being a leader, became to strong and he could respect his muscles along with the rest of his team.

"Fearless Leader is so cool looking!" Nora screamed

Ten simply smiled at Jaune's new outlook but felt something weird was about to happen. Ozpin simply chuckled. Goodwitch wondered where his sword and shield went why did he have nothing but spiked gloves? Now the girls were all different. Blake was impressed by Jaune's build but wondered if he was ok, he was in what appeared to be a fight after all. Weiss shut down at seeing Jaune so buff. Ruby blushed, she was a teenage girl after all and seeing her first friend, and crush, looking like that was a blessing.

"Dang Vomit Boy when did you get so yummily buff, momma likes" Yang said with a grin

Oh Phyrra she is already blushing so red you could mistake it for a tomatoe and was thinking Lewd things about her and Jaune.

**"Let's get this over with and kill both of you." Sloth said in a tired voice**

**"Jaune run he is after me save yourself!" Screamed Saphron in a commanding voice**

**"No I will not lose my sister or any of my comrades ever again! C'mon you beast if you want her you'll have to go through me!" Screamed Jaune **

**As sloth charged Jaune stood in front of Saphron. When sloth was about to collide something grabbed him and threw him across the room. **

**"Heads up honey!" Screamed Velvet**

**"Right" yelled a mystery man as he uppercutted sloth into the roof**

"Whoa that was so cool" Ruby said with stars in her eyes

"But who is the fat guy?" Asked Russel

"Who knows but something tells me it's about to get weird" said Blake

**The screen flashed to his built forearms, chest then it was revealed to be**

"CARDIN!" Screamed everyone but Cardin. He was shocked to see himself like that. Sure he didn't mind but unless something manly happens in The next ten seconds he doesn't care.

**Jaune grunted in surprise. Cardin then flexed in a pose as he moved his pecs. Then Jaune flexed meeting his to fist as he moved his pecs.**

**"INCREDIBLE VALOR! RESPECTABLE MUSCLES!" Jaune screamed ad they shanked hands. They turned their heads to see sloth coming at the but these two men did not care. They uppercutted sloth together, brought their fist down upon his head and then by each taking an arm threw him into the ceiling where he stayed for all nut a moment and fell onto a spike. They hit their fist together and met and in a handshake with a mere sparkle in their eye.**

**The screen faded to black**

"What the hell did I just see?" Ask Yang

"The most manly greeting and beat down in your life" Cardin said with a smile, maybe he should help Jaune bluk up like that the look actually suited him.

"They just flexed than beat the crap out of that guy." Weiss said with a tick mark on her head

"Oh we are not don't yet we have one more" said Zex

**The screen opened up to a man in a red suit having an iron bar through his head. He was dazed as music played in the back ground. They see a blurry figure come into the frame. He was well built and appeared to be made of an iron substance but his face was recognizable.**

"another buff Jaune?" Asked Ruby

"But why is he picking that guy up bridal style" asked Nora

"THOSE ARE NOT APPROPRIATE HAND SIGNS!" Screamed Goodwitch

**Jaune put the man down and pulled out the metal pole **

**He shakes his head **

**"You, you came for me" said the man in red his voice instantly recognized by someone**

"REN?!" Screamed Nora

Ren was shocked. Why was he there and why did he say those words to Jaune?

**"I am not giving up on you and you are not giving up on that girl" said Jaune in a Russian accent**

**"Ok." Said Ren **

**"Its time to fight dirty" Jaune said **

**"Its time to sweep the leg Jauney" Ten said getting hyped up**

**"Hey! Pick on someone your own size!" Tell Jaune to the man in the background beating the absolute crap out of Ruby and Ozpin **

**"That's such a you thing to say, go get em big guy! Big CGI fight coming up!" Ren Said as Jaune superman punched the juggernaut in the face**

"Its going down!" Yelled Nora, Ruby, and Yamg as they were getting hyped up by the music

"Kick his ass Arc!" Screamed CRDL, what they may not be friends with him but they could they still know if he ever got angry not even Ozpin could stop him and they were also hyped up

**Juggernaut ripped off his sleeves and caught Jaune's fist and bending it. Jaune screamed as he got hit with hooks and stomped into the ground. Juggernaut picked up Jaune as he landed two have into the body. Jaune was then thrown into a little metal fence and he grabbed a piece of it and twisted it around his fist.**

**"Imma melt you down you piece of-" he didn't get you finish ah he was punched in the face and uppercutted in the nuts**

**"That's right I'm fighting dirty!" Jaune said as he rolled out of the way whole tripping him. Only to comeback and elbow him the face.**

Every one was enjoying the fight. Of course all the males winced at the shot below the belt but they all could admit it was still awesome.

"Keep at it Jaune!" Yelled Phyrra

**as the fight continued juggernaut was getting angry and was swinging angrily and doing damage. He picked up jaune by his throat but jaune broke his fingers.**

**"COMMIE MOTHERFUCKER!" Screamed juggernaut angdily ad he punched him jnto a wall.**

**Jaune simply spit out a tooth, yelled and chaged at his opponent. Jaune grabbed his helmet and kneed him in the face two times before throwing him into a bus. Juggernaut had enough and picked up the bus.**

**"Oh boy" said Jaune as he blocked a direct hit by the bus.**

" !" Everyone screamed

**Juggernaut threw him, hitting a lightpole, to a nearby pool and began to try drowning him. But suddenly an electric rope being used by Blake wrapped around his legs as Jaune came up and ripped off a piece of his jumpsuit, exposing his butt. Yang charged up her attack as Jaune grabbing the electrical wires shove them up main street. As he yelled out in pain Yang threw him into the water.**

**"That's how we do it in Mother Russia" Jaune said as he walked up to hang and blame as the juggernaut was being electrocuted.**

**Screen fades to black**

"that was awesome!" Yelled Yang

"He used his environment well" said Goodwitch

"Man I wonder what's up next" said Phyrra

_**Sorry everyone that it took so long but writers block is a major douche. Anyway I hope y'all liked it and I made this as long as I could just for all of you. Tell me how did in the reviews and if there are any mistakes. See y'all crazy awesome people next time.**_

_Next time _

_**He made me a God, for now at least**_


	3. Aquaman and surprises

**So this is an update on what is happening, my sister has finally given birth to my niece and I feel extremely happy. Now even though this will be a quick little up date and little filler chapter it should hold y'all over, yes I'm bringing in Neptune just for fun. If you want any other teams joining besides teams CFVY and SSSN let me know. Also I'm wondering if y'all would like to see this little chapter as a full blown story next time. It is in the works but I really want to know if y'all would like it. Also let's just say that there will be little bit of my favorite movie before our next reality begins. I hope y'all enjoy and I OWN!**

* * *

Everyone was starting to hate the fact that Zex disappears without anybody knowing. Of course he still said something about a clown and storm drains. Weiss was looking around trying to figure out if they were being lied to about his whereabouts. Blake was reading a book, Yang and Nora were arm wrestling, Ren was drinking tea, Ruby was eating cookies, Team CRDL was sleeping, Goodwitch was looking for an exit, and Phyrra and Ozpin were chatting about the fall maiden and how to help her without transferring her powers.

"Ok found that damn clown and got my niece back" said a voice everyone was very well ready to pummel. Zex finally came back but they were just annoyed by his behavior. Now don't get them wrong he has his moments but overall he is just this guy you can't really help but hate. He is literally insane but also shows what most people can be seen as mostly anger. Now they were ready to kill him for answers, until they saw who was in his arms. A little newborn girl only about a day and half old. She was wrapped in a little blanket and she was sound asleep.

"Oh my Oum" said Weiss

She expected many things, but she didn't expect a literal walking Looney bin to be carrying a baby. Now she would just rush over and take the baby but everyone felt this aura that said 'Try to take her and I'll erase your exsistence'. It was truly scary.

"Ah hello everyone sorry I wasn't here, was looking for my niece and a stupid clown. He was babysitting for me but he ended up getting into a little trouble, so I had to help with a little infestation." Zex stated

"Anyway Teams CVFY and SSSN will be going y'all for the next three realities. The reality that I had next up is still being prepared" he said with a gentle smile

Both Teams walked in and took their seats. Everyone know where they were supposed to be even though Neptune tried sitting necmxt to weiss only to be thrown across the room to sit next to Sun.

"Enjoy these realities everyone!" Zex said as he walked out of the room.

**The screen opened with a view of a submarine being invaded by pirates. The crew was taken hostage and the captain was standing before the pirate leader. They saw his black scuba armor with his gun at his side. The Captain was in a sailor outfit.**

"Wait isn't that Ren and Sun?" Asked Ruby

Everyone saw this was true but why did it look like sun said something stupid in front of him and was about to pay the price.

**Ren looked at sun. Then he simply stated with a glare "I dont tell you how to captain," He stabbed sun as he finished "and you don't tell me how to pirate." Sun fell to the floor dead as a man who looked just like Ren stood behind him with pride.**

"WHAT THE HE'LL DUDE!" Yelled sun. He was pretty sure he didn't deserve that. He wanted to go give him a piece of his mind but something told him that would be a bad idea. Before he could continue he noticed Ren was just staring at the screen. He looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"Dad?" He let out with a single tear shedding. Nora squeezed his hand in comfort. She never had a family before but Ren was the closest she ever had to family. While she wished she could tell Ren her feelings she was to nervous that it would mess up their relationship.

Unknown to everyone Zex walked back in with a smile on his face. He traded the chainsaw for a trident with a trident with nor did tunes upon the blade. Zex knew this world will hurt Ren but he had a world just for Ren that will make him smile.

**li Ren smiled at his son. He was ready. "Ren come here." He told his son. When his Ren walked up to his father he didn't expect to be handed a knife. It was a hunting knife but it had a manta on the hilt.**

**"Dad what's going on?" Asked Ren**

**"You're ready Ren. Your grandfather in world war two was a Navy frogman. He was so good in the water he gained the nick name "Black Manta". After the war he returned to the sea and lived off it. He gave me that knife when I was your age. Now I pass it on to you." Li Ren explained**

**Ren was shocked to hear how much of a badass his grandpa was. He knew of his service bit never how good he was. **

Everyone was shocked. Ren's grandfather sounded terrifying to go against, Ruby was more curious about one thing.

"Black Manta sounds like a suoervillian name." She said

"It does but Ren's grandpa was a BADASS!" Exclaimed Yang

"Could help me with my fear of the water?" Asked Neptune

"Probably" Said both Cardin and Velvet

**The submarine began to shake. Ren was confused no one should know they are out here, and if they did they shouldn't have gotten here so fast.**

**"What is going on out there!" He yelled into his comms**

**"I don't know sir but it looks like a man" said one of his men looking at one of their cameras**

**He wasn't lying either, they watched as a man rammed into the sub with tremendous force. Knocking down everyone in the sub. **

**"That is no man" said Ren **

**The man was pushing the submarine to the surface with ease. As it broke the surface he came out from the bottom, broke the surface and landed upon the top of the submarine. **

"Who is that?" Asked Ruby

"I don't know but he is sexy" said both Coco and Yang

"Wait how is he supposed get in without being shot?" Asked Dove

**"Alpha And Bravo team find cover the entry point." Ordered Ren over the radio**

**Two squads walked to the hatch of the Submarine aiming their rifles with practiced ease. As they were walking up to it the hatch door came flying down and the man came in. They saw as he landed a.d began to stand up. The pirates had their rifles trained on him waiting to see what he does. He stood at his full height, 6'1, and showed his defined back. Scale like tattoos were upon his arms and his baxk. His long blonde wet hair, hung loosely. He turned to them and showed piercing blue eyes that showed confidence and no mercy prepared. His beard was a fine beard. He turned to the pirates with only one thing to say.**

**"Permission to come aboard." He asked sarcastically**

Everyone in the audience was shocked to see this. They say this man in nothing but jeans and boots take on a submarine and punch open a hatch, and all he has to say was that. It took everyone to realize what he did and simply chuckled.

"Only Arc would come up with something that stupid." Said Weiss but she will admit it was kinda funny

**The two pirates looked at each other than opened fire. Jaune grabbed the hatch and tossed it to one of the men, knocking him down. The other was punched and thrown into a wall. Then Jaune picked up the other guy and started to bear them down. After the guy on his left was knocked out Jaune pushed the guy into the wall and broke a pope releasing steam. Jaune noticed two more men coming by one his behind the hatch cowering. Jaune grabbed the hatch and hurled it at the the man still in view knocking him down. As Jaune walked the one against the wall tried to stab him only to get turned on and fireman carried. Jaune ran to the doorway and released the guy as he hit it. Jaune flipped his hair as he grabbed the door than smashed it into the guy behind the door knocking him out.**

"Ow" said everyone

"Since when could arc fight like that?" Asked Sky

"I don't know but it would seem that Mr. Arc has been in some bar fights in the past and fights with brute strength." Said Ozpin

**As Jaune freed the hostages Ren came running down the hall shooting his guns. Jaune fell into the torpedo room and Ren jumped down there to meet his foe. "I have been waiting for this day" said Ren **

**He released his gauntlet blade and began to fight Jaune. As the fought Ren pulled out his sword but Jaune grabbed a torpedo body and threw it into him. Ren was knocked back but still able to fight. He went to stab Jaune in the chest only to get a rude awakening. The sword stopped against his chest, Jaune grabbed it and broke the blade. Ren was then thrown behind him.**

**"How do you know who I am?" Asked Jaune **

**"You're the Aquaman" said Ren **

**Before Jaune could do anything else he heard someone.**

**"Hey!" Yelled out Li Ren **

**He fired a grenade into Jaune sending him flying into re back wall and face first into the deck. Both men chuckled and smiled at the other. Then they heard Jaune began to stir. They both looked at him as he got up groaning.**

**"Ow" he groaned out as he got up and tore a pipe off the wall.**

Ruby, Nora, Yang, Sun, and Cardin busted their guts laughing. Everyone else simply rolled their eyes at what he just said.

"At least Jaune is honest about the pain" said Blake wincing

**Li Ren began to load another grenade in but before he could fire was impaled by the pipe. As he screamed in pain as Jaune walked towards him.**

**"Dad!" Yelled Ren reaching out to his father**

**"That's your son. What kind of father are you. I bet you're proud." Said Jaune angrily**

**He pulled out the pipe before he left. As he was walking away Li Ren aimed the grenade launcher at him.**

**"Hey! Fish man!" He yelled out**

**As Jaune turned around Li Ren fired at him but Jaune dodged in time but it caused a hole to open in the hull of the sub. But the explosion caused one more thing to happen. The torpedo fell from the explosion's shockwave causing it to fall onto his leg. He let out a cry of pain and you heard the sound of his leg being crushed.**

"Oh no" said Velvet covering her mouth along with Coco and Miss Goodwitch

Everyone was shocked to see that happen and knew this was bad. Nora and Ren were on the verge of crying, Ren because he watched his father get hurt and Nora because Li Ren was one of the kindest men she knew before he died.

CRDL couldn't believe their eyes. He just had his leg crushed by a torpedo that wasn't a pretty sight. Ozpin clutched his mug in a tight grip. Ruby was crying but Blake and Yang were perfectly fine.

"Guys you are forgetting about Jaune he is there remember" said Blake

**"Wait please help him! Please don't leave him like this please!" Ren begged Jaune who was climbing up the ladder. Jaune looked back at them.**

"See guys he is going to help them everything will be okay" said Yang trying to help calm everyone down.

But what they heard next straight up was the coldest thing they ever heard leave Jaune's mouth.

_**"You killed innocent people. Ask the SEA for mercy."**_** he stated coldly and climbed up the ladder.**

Blake and Yang was stunned, Jaune just refused to help someone, JAUNE FUCKING ARC, refused to help someone. It was unheard of. Phyrra who was being quiet started to bawl. Her Jaune just refused to help his friend. It broke her heart to see this. This wasn't Jaune this was a man who didn't care.

**Ren tried to lift the torpedo and even roll it off his father, But it wouldn't budge. **

**"Ren you have to go." Said Li Ren**

**"No I'm not leaving you. We are leaving together, you hear me together!" Yelled Ren**

**But Li Ren pulled out an explosive and set it to detonate. Ren saw this and didn't want to believe it. His father was going to blow both of them up just to get him to leave. **

**"Damn You!" Yelled Ren**

**"Go Ren and remember I love you son. Now GO!" Yelled out Li Ten**

**As Ren made it to the ladder and climbed up it his father was covered up by the water and an explosion was heard. Ren gained a wrathful look on his face and continued to climb as the sub sank and he entered his ship.**

**The screen faded to black **

Everyone just witnessed the death of Ren's father and Jaune being cold hearted. Ren with,a furious look in his eye, sees Zex and charges at him. Of course he is met with the top of his Trident but he didn't care.

"WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCK ARE YOU! DO YOU GET ENJOYMENT WATCHING US SUFFER! Screamed a furious Ren scaring Nora. She never seen him that angry before on her life.

"I showed you that world to show you that it's always not gonna be black in white. If Jaune didn't believe that you two would keep going as pirates and helped you that wouldn't have happened. Ren that world is indeed sad at what happens to your father but he also has problems of his own. In that world he is half Human half Atlantean . His mother is killed by Atlantis's king and he became bitter and cold to a certain degree. He comes and helps he doesn't care about the bad guys. But you and others taught him if he would have helped you, you two wouldn't be enemies. It's not always simple doing the right thing. But know this Ren I didn't show thatbti be cruel. I showed that to show you all the possibilities of the multiverse. Now I have brought a gift Ren and I know you will love it. It's right through those doors." Said Zex pointing with his Trident "Take Mrs. Valkyrie with you please."

When Ren stepped up to the door he expected to see weapons or one of his stupid pranks. What he didn't expect to see was his Mother and Father standing before him. Everyone in the room was shocked to see them standing before them. Nora covered her mouth with her hands ad tears were falling.

"Mom, Dad" asked Ren in tears

Li Ren and An Ren saw their son "REN!" they cried out in tears hugging their son. Nora walked up to them and expected to be pushed away not lulled into the guy by Ren himself. After the initial surprise wore off she joined in the hug. After what felt like hours Ren finally asked Zex a question.

"Why did you bring them back?" Zex simply smiled and laughed

"I'm not gonna send you in that dollar coaster and not give you something in return. That and let's just say they begged me to see their son even if it was at a distance. Now I'll make my leave but Ren, Nora stop stalling and get together all ready we can all see it and Phyrra." Zex said

Phyrra looked at him. "Yes" she said behind a false smile "He isn't a bad guy oin that I just showed you only the beginning. He gets to the real Jaune in the future so don't worry and same applies to you. Jaune will not wait forever so tell him now before it's too late. Now I'll see y'all around and guys you'll be seeing a GODLY display next." Said Zex

* * *

**And done, I'm starting to get the hang of it but leave your review and yes Aquaman is one of my favorites and Suggestions are welcomed. So send them in and I'll do my best before the next major one, where its Mortal Kombat 11, let's just say we are gonna need to get the facts book ready, and bring your best Texas Ranger badge too.**


	4. I'm Back!

**sorry it took so long** y'all.** Really am getting nervous everytime I'm writing these, but to make it up to y'all I will be doing two realities. Hope y'all enjoy!**

Everyone was waiting for Zex to return. He has been gone for what felt like months. Everyone was doing their own thing until they heard the door open.

"Took you long enough" said Weiss

"Where have you been man?" Asked Sun. He like Weiss was pretty mad that he took his time getting here. What was he doing making sure the universe didn't get deported.

"Sorry everyone, I was very busy making sure everything was ready." Stated Zex "As an apology I will be showing two realities just be ready for a fight scence!"

"Really?! Awesome I can't wait!" Screamed out Yang

**the screen turned on and they saw a cozy little cabin in the woods. Inside was Jaune Arc watching TV with his beautiful wife-**

"RUBY?!" Yelled Yang

Ruby was hiding behind her hood with a happy smile. Her and Jaune got together yes! Suck it Phyrra and Velvet!

"I can still hear your thoughts Ruby" Deadpanned Zex

Ruby 'eeped' silently as Velvet and Phyrra glared at Ruby. CRDL decided to high five Jaune later. SSSN were laughing their asses off at the science below them and CFY were simpling processing what is going on. That was until Coco noticed Jaune's clothes and fainted along with Weiss and Blake. Jaune was buff again but he was that action movie star buff.

**"we will return to Delta Force right after these messages." **

**When all of a sudden they see Fox's face show up on the screen **

**"You must play the Sega Saturday." Stated Fox **

**"Stupid commercials" said Jaune**

Fox began to realize where this is going and laughed out loud at the obsurdity. Yatsuashi then asked Fox "How can you see?"

"I gave him sight so he can watch it with ya" said Zex

"Oh OK" said Yatsuashi

**Jaune began flipping through the channels as Fox kept aplearing in every channel. He flipped through the channel about ten times until Fox jumped out of the TV with a giant Sega Saturn on his back. He t**

**hen threw the Sega Saturday.**

**Jaune stood up protectively in front of Ruby. **

**"What the hell?" asked Jaune as he caught the game console and crushed it with one hand. He glared at him and said "Get the out of my house"**

"FIGHT!" Screamed Zex in a Deep Voice scaring everyone in the room and getting smacked by Goodwitch.

**As Fox charged Ruby ran to their bedroom as the fight began. Jaune stepped back and punched Fox then Fox punched Jaune it went like that until Jaune rolled backwards and pulled out a Tommy Gun And fired at Fox who just stood there taking the bullets to the chest unfazed.**

"Fox?" Asked Coco

"Yes Coco" answered Fox

"If you ever do that I'm dragging you to the closet room and 'checking' your chest for fatal wounds." said Coco with a hint of worry and lust

"Whut" said Fox wide eyed as all the boys silently cheered for him

**Jaune then flying dragon kicked Fox threw the house and continued their fight. The camera pans inside as Coco and Ruby are watching their husbands fight eachother for fun again. **

"How many times has that happened?" asked Velvet

"Apparently to many times?" Said Neptune as he was dumbfounded on what just happened.

**"How have you been Coco?" Asked Ruby to her friend **

**"Good Ruby but it** looks** like the boys are at it again. You would think they would just greet eachother instead of punching the other." Said Coco as she watched Jaune get thrown into a mountain.**

"HOW STRONG ARE THEY?!" Screamed Ozpin, he has never seen so much raw power from two people in his entire life! Hell even The Brother Gods can't move so fast he can LITERALLY punch himself on the back of the head or even defy the laws of physics like that without the aid of their magic.

**"Yeah but hey its how they are plus they are reliving the old days remember" said Ruby with a smile. she still couldn't fathom fighting for four quintillion years.**

Everyone heard a thud as they see Ozpin passed out on the floor with a face that screamed 'WHAT'. Zex just began to laugh hysterically.

"Ozzy calm down it was just them having a death match until they realized they were equally matched and it would continue for eternity but they thought a good ol'fashioned spar would do every now and again so calm down. Besides they have fun doing it." Explained Zex

Ozpin still was passed out

"I think you broke him" said a shocked Gooswitch

"Oops" said Zex

**as the fight finished they could see a mountain range turned into hills and their husbands giving eachother a high five and walking back to the house. **

**"they are so getting an early from us" said Ruby because they destroyed the environment again**

**"Yup" said Coco**

**screen fades away**

"That wasn't a very long fight." Pouted Yang

"Who said that was the fight?" Smirked Zex

"Huh?" Said Cardin as the screen turned back on

**A body fell to the floor in front of Adam Taurus in a japanese yukata. **

**"Jaune women are sex tools for us men. Just like Velvet and Weiss!" Said Arthur Watts in a wwII Japanese uniform. (1) (keep reading please it will get better and yes this is from a movie)**

"Excuse me!" Screamed all the girls. They were about to tear apart Zex as the boys backed away in fear.

"Hold on a moment keep watching you will get revenge, just wait." Said Zex with maniac smile

While they wanted to tear him a new one they felt like he was telling the truth. They will see what happens. What could possibly happen that will make this better.

**When watts got close enough Jaune punched him in the stomach and began to kick him with a continuous roundhouse. As soon as watts get to the pillar Jaune began punching him in the face as all of the dojo stood up as fast as they could to save their general. Jaune then suplexed watts into the ground and punches him in the groin. Watts screams out in pain as Jaune kicks one of the many students into the others.**

"GET THEM FEARLESS LEADER!" screamed out Nora as she cheered for Jaune

All the girls were happy to see that Jaune got revenge for them. Ruby, Velvet, Phyrra, Yang, Blake and Weiss decided Jaune deserved a reward.

**"WA!" screamed Jaune as he continued to fight the Dojo full of men. **

**Jaune kicked serval men away and punched another man into a wall. Jaune ran at all the men and Flying Dragon Kicked another man down a hall. Several men began to grab kendo swords off of the sword racks. **

"Wait how is he supposed to defend himself against those?" Asked Li Den

"You'll see" said Zex in a Chen Zhen costume

**Jaune turns around and faces them. He steps into his stance and reaches around to his back And pulls out wooden nunchucks. **

"Oh fuck the hell yes." Said Sun with a grin

**Jaune counters a sword strike and fights them. Swords breaking against his back and heads being hit so hard you heard the crack. Jaune kicked two men in the face and jumped slamming his nun chuck hard into the mans head with blood vision flying out. When he landed all his opponents were on the ground writhing in pain.**

"That's how its done! Great job Jaune!" Yelled Sun and the entire room cheering his name.

_**Meanwhile **_

Jaune woke up from the room he was in feeling embarrassed or he would have if the guy from before didn't hit him in the back of the neck knocking him out again.

_**Back to the regularly scheduled program**_

**Jaune threw the nunchucks to the side. **

**"Listen up! Chinese people are not the sick men of Asia!" Screamed out Jaune as a trail of blood goes down his forehead.**

**screen fades to black**

"That was awesome! Jaune was all like 'wa' and like 'hiya' and" said Ruby as she tried to mimick Jaunes moves.

"Im glad y'all enjoyed seeing ya next time" said Zex as he disappeared again

_**Hey guys sorry again I've been gone for so long! I hoped you enjoyed it!**_

_**(1) That is from Donnie Yen's Chen Zhen: Legend of the Fist great movie go watch it! It is set back in World War Two after all.**_


	5. Major Paine and Marines?

Everyone was waiting for Zex to returns from where ever he went. Velvet, Phyrra and team RWBY were planning Jaune's "gift". Coco had dragged Fox into another room amd when Yastuyashi tried to save him...well he's been out for about an hour. SSS were trying to stop Neptune from planning Jaune's death cause well he was jealous of the attention Weiss was giving him. Goodwitch finally woke up Ozpin from his coma and he was hysterical at those two's power. CRDL was making plans to help Jaune bulk up a bit and get him prepared for the plans the girls have for him. Bros help bros after all if it got out of hand they have a Plan B.

"Hey Guys I'm back sorry for taking so long!" Said Zex

When they all looked at him, Coco and Fox finally left the room extremely satisfied, they saw Zex wearing a dark blue shirt that said "MARINES" on the back with an Eagle, Globe, and Anchor, on the left side of his chest.

"Mr. Zex what is a Marine?" Asked Ruby

"They are the branch I plan to join little rose! The U.S. Marines are the first to fight for my home country amd protects the innocent much like a Huntsman." Said Zex

"Hold on a second, does that mean you will not be around a lot?" Asked Li Ren who was sitting down in the background with his family and future daughter in law.

"Yes because I do need to prepare but do not worry I'll have people come in with their own worlds to show you so y'all want be bored!" Said Zex looking at the readers(1)

"Who are you talking too?" Asked Yastuashi waking up

"Only the readers that he wants to know if they wanted to know if they would like to join in on the fun!" Said a voice

Everyone turned to the screen and they saw Jaune in a red and black suit looking at them from the screen with a...pink pony at his side?

"Go away Deadpool you are till later" said Zex in a joking tone

"Hey! I have been waiting for your lazy ass to hurry the fuck up to show how me and my bestie met!" Screamed Deadpool

"Yeah!" Said the pink pony

"Get out of here now before I actually grab God and hit you like a baseball to a bat!" Screamed Zex shaking the theatre from his anger and scaring the occupants

"Alright! Alright! Fine! I'm just trying to have fun you party pooper! Just don't bring down the universe damn!" Said Deadpool helping his friend back up as they walk away.

"Sorry about that guys but there is a reason I am weariing this shirt as well! You see this next universe Jaune is a Marine training a bunch of cadets!" Said Zed with a smile

"Why do I feel like this is about to be weird?" Said Blake

"Not weird FUNNY AS SHIT!" said Zex

**The Screen turned on as they saw an open feild with what appeared to be an old barrack. They saw a bunch of children between the ages of 9-17 standing in camouflage. They appeared to be ROTC cadets.**

"Winter would have a heart atrack if she saw these hooligans in the Atlas Military." Said Weiss

"Don't worry sister I know they are not real soldiers" said a Voice as Weiss jumped and turned around

There stood Winter Schnee in all her atlas military glory. She was standing in a very strict manner until Zex stood before her and said "Okay if you are gonna be here chill out or I will throw you into Major Paine's command myself"

"And what will he do exactly?" Said Winter ready to show him respect

"One I have far more power than you will ever hava and two Major Paine has taken down so many people and forced an entire military force to surrender when he threatens to LITERALLY put a bullet into the commanding officers ass in front of all of his men. Also he breaks his finger to get his mind off of a bullet wound and used his knife to get a bullet out of his own heart with out pain meds. Wanna have him as your Drill Instructor?" Said Zex with a sadistic smile

Winter had never shut up so fast and say by her sister in fear. While she will admit maybe she could relax and get her mind off of things.

"Winter!" Weiss hugged her sister.

"Hello Weiss" said winter

**"Alright let's go! C'mon c'mon move your asses c'mon c'mon let's mooooooove!" Said this boy in a camoflauge cover(2). Everyone saw people forming up in a line and watched as they boy from before did an about face and stood at attention. They saw black boots standing before him as he said "Squad formed up and ready Sir!" **

**Then they saw Jaune and all the girls couldn't help but feel intimidated especially Winter. Jaune looked like a Drill Instructor bit something screamed that he had no times for games. Jaune's hair was completely gone surprising everyone. **

**"Carry on" said Jaune in a ridiculous voice**

It was at that momment every one, except Winter and Zex, busted out laughing at how his voice sounded. When everyone calmed down amd saw how Winter was shaking as she pointrd at the screen for every one to keep watching.

**"I am Major Jaune wineferd Arc or as I am commonly known as Major Paine! As of 0800 I am replacing Major Winter Schnee as your commanding officer!" Exclaimed Jaune**

They watched as the young boys began to boo at him.

"Such disrespect" said Goodwitch

"Wait for it" said Zed and Winter

**As the boys were booing they jumped when jaune pulled out hid 1911 and fired off into the air to silence the boys. **

**"It appears we have a failure to communicate." Said Jaune "Do. Not. Attempt. To. Ignore. My. Authority! You will not eat, sleep, pick your nose or dig in your butt without my say so!" **

**"Boo-hoo" said a little boy who appeared to be around 9**

**Jaune looked at him "what." **

**"I have to go to the bathroom" **

**"You hold it turd."**

**"I can't"**

**"You will stop that before I break it off and kick all over the ground!" Threatened Jaune scaring the little boy into silence**

Everyone's jaw dropped at that statement

"But wait there's more!" Said Zed

**The Screen opened up with Major Paine standing before Velvet.**

**"I call it murdering!" Said Jaune **

**"And I call you an overbearing, insecure, psychopathic, fridged, Asshole!" Said an angry Velvet**

**"I ain't fridged" said Jaune**

Zex, as he laughed, beamed into there head what happened before and and everyone laughed!

**"He's still there!" Said the now revealed Tiger **

**Bothe Velvet and Jaune turned their heads and looked at Tiger **

**"You wanna see nurturing?" Asked Jaune**

**Jaune marched up the stairs to Tigers room.**

**"He's in there?" Asked Jaune**

**Tiger nodded and Jaune pulled out his gun and shot the closet. **

**"If he's still in there he ain't happy" said Jaune as the screen changed playing the rest in their heads**

Everyone was laughing at how blunt Jaune was and how he quickly saw it was his own way of helping.

**Jaune had met his newest squad of Vic-Uh I mean cadets and he stood before a boy and before he could say anything he heard a dog and saw one running in the field.**

**"And what the hell is that?" Jaune asked**

**"He's mine" said a boy standing before him and whistled for his dog to come to him**

**Jaune walked up to the boy**

**"You know dogs are not allowed at Beacon right Mr. Fox?" Asked Jaune**

**"Yes sir I do but its probably because of he's a blind seeing eye dog." Stated Fox**

**Jaune looked confused "Who the hell would want a blind dog?" Asked Jaune**

**"He's not blind I'm the one who is blind you idiot" said Fox as his dog barked at him**

Winter knew what was about to happen next and began to ask hysterically scaring Weiss

"Does she always do that?" Asked Coco

"No she doesn't and it's scaring me" said Weiss

**Jaune smiled "Oh really know?" Asked Jaune**

**"Tiger!" Exclamied Jaune as Tiger stepped out**

**"Tell ma bring me my field knife." Said Jaune with a sadistic smile that Tiger smiled as well running of to tell his mama Velvet**

Velvet began to blush profusely and smiled

"By the way Velvet" said Zex "With Jaune being a Marine that means he was held to the highest physical standards and always had to be ready to be deployed to a combat zone. In other words Jaune has an six to eight pack"

It was at that moment that Velvet, RWBY, and Phyrra blushed redder than a Ruby and well hoping Jaune looked like that under his hoodie

**_MEANW_****_HILE_**

Jaune was working out with some guy named Chris Kyle who apparently a Legendary Marine. Jaune had his shirt off and had an eight pack thanks to the man. Jaune also learned some Martial Arts from three people. He learned Kyokushin Karate from Mas Oyama, Wing Chun from Yip Man, and Jeet Kune Do from Bruce Lee. Jaune was glad to have met them all and was glad to know that Zex let him meet them and apparently he was about to bulk up with a man know as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chun Kuk Do from Chuck Norris. He glad Chris taught him how to use a gun because his current teacher in military strategy Sun Tsu was about to start up another lesson.

_**BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULE PROGRAM**_

**They saw Fox's face completely calm then it switched over to his hand on his head jaw dropped as his hair was gone!**

It was at that moment everyone, including Fox himself, were laughing their asses off at the scene.

**There was a howl of a dog and when Fox went to feel his dog his Jaw, if it wasn't already hitting the floor, dropped way more as it showed his dog missing all of his hair getting the same treatment.**

Everyone was still laughing as the screen turned off.

"That was amazing and here I thought we were getting another cold Jaune" said Yang

"Well I'm glad y'all enjoyed it" said Sex

* * *

_**Hey Guys sorry that ive been gone for so long been very busy.**_

_**(1) Yes I mean it if anyone wants to wtite a chapter for this story then go right ahead I love to include y'all in this story!**_


	6. New People and Gifts?

Everyone was waiting for Zex to return from where ever he went. The Ren family were getting to know more about Nora, because Li and An wanted to have her as their Daughter in Law, with RWBY, Velvet and Phyrra making the final adjustments to their plan for Jaune.

CFY were playing a game system he left. They had major fun with the game called 'Mortal Kombat 11' and well loved 'God Of War'.

CRDL and SSS had plan B ready just in case while Neptune was off sulking in a corner. Goodwitch, Ozpin, and Winter were talking about where Zex could have ran off too.

"Something tells me there is more to him than meets the eye?" Said Goodwitch

"Yes but you must remember that he does have a bit of a temper as well." Ozpin reminded her

"But he seems more on the lines of a chaotic neutral." Said Winter

"Still he couldn't have ran far maybe he went to see his baby" said Goodwitch

"First off she js my niece and nah just needed a break for a bit!" Said Zex appearing behind Goodwitch with a 'pop' sound

"Gah! Don't do that!" Yelled Goodwitch grabbing everyone's attention

Zex raised his hands in defence. "Sorry just really bored and well I thought of something to do!"

This caught all of their attention.

"And that is?" Asked Yang but before Zex could answer they heard a thud

They saw a man who seemed old and ragged with a torn up cape. His flask was what made to two people smile.

"Un-" "I'VE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" Yelled Qrow in anger

"Ha Thor reference" Zex said

"Okay and who are you?" Asked Qrow before someone landed On Top of him.

"Dad?!" Screamed Yang and Ruby as Taiyang got off Qrow

"Are You okay?" He asked

"Yeah I'm fine." He said as he got up only to be crushed by another body

"Who did this?!" Screamed Ironwood

"Get off me Jimmy!" Said Qrow as Ironwood got off of him only to be crushed by one more body

"Where am I?" Said the hooded figure

"GET OF ME!" screamed Qrow as he got off of him

"Okay what is this bull-" he didn't get to finish as he was hit on the head with an anvil, piano, then a steamroller.

"Road Rollerada!" Zex screamed coming out of nowhere and begining to punch the steamroller.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! WRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" He screamed as it blew up with Qrow unconscious on the floor

"What was the point of that?" Asked Winter felling sorry fot Qrow

"Cause it was funny!" He said chipperly

Everyone slowly backed away except the hooded figure who was glaring at Ironwood and Goodwitch.

"Um is there a reason you are staring at us?" Asked Ironwood

"Hmph it seems you're harder to kill than I anticipated and you seem to be able to grow back limbs. Looks like I'll have to kill you more thoroughly time." He said

"Excuse me?!" Screeched Weiss

What everyone saw next scared them to the core! He opened his torn up cloak to reveal armour and weapons! His Chest plate as black as night along with his pants blacker than The Devil's soul. His Gauntlets had scratch marks along with his exposed arms. His boots old but still sturdy enough to stomp your head in. His Mask snarling with untold anger. His eyes, one that has a noticable scar with a grey pupil and the other a dark brown eye of untold malice.

His shoulder pads were darker than blake's bow but the symbol is what made everyone's eyes widen. A Black wolf with red glowing eyes surrounded by grey fire. Teeth as sharp as a sword and claws ready to tear into flesh like a chainsaw.

"Don't you remember me? Don't you remember **Azzy**?" He asked

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! WERE YOU THE ONE?!" Yelled out Ozpin

"Oh? Don't you remember what you did? Don't worry I'll refresh your memory Ozpin. But **Azzy **is gone. **AZAZEL, THE WOLF OF HELL!** and you will die this day!" Yelled Azazel

"Whoops wrong person" said Zex snaping his fingers and making him disappear.

"Who was th-" Ruby didn't get to finish as Goodwitch and Ozpin charged Zex. Only to be stopped and held in the air.

"WHO WAS HE AND DID HE KILL AZZY!" Screamed Ozpin and Goodwitch

"First off, don't charge at me again. Second off no he didnt kill Azzy." Said Zex

"Then that means" said Goodwitch with wide eyes crying her eyes out

"Yup but that's a story for another time." Said Zex(1)

"Um what just happened? Asked Neptune

"It's nothing to worry about, now I'm bringing in the right person this time!" Zex stated

As he said that a door slammed down right next to Ruby scaring her.

"Hey watch it!" Screamed Ruby

"I didn't summon a door?" Said Zex

As he said that a man in a yellow suit and hat and a very green face came out the door.

"Sssssmoking!" He Screamed

"Jaune?!" Everyone screamed as Zex smacked him back into the room with a sledge hammer

"Not yet you comedic genius!" He screamed as they heard Jaune scream through the door.

"Okay we should be good now" Zex said as Qrow woke up

"Ugh what happened?" He asked

"You got knocked unconscious" Said Ironwood

"Oh and who is this freak?" Ask Qrow

"I am Zex and I brought you all here to save ze vorld!" Zex screamed in a bad German accent

"Really?" Asked Ironwood before he got punched in the face

"No dukbass I brought you here to watch some stuff but first!" He said as he pointed behind Ruby

When she turned around she gasped at who she saw

She was 5'7 with an identifiable white cloak

"Mom!" She Screamed

"My baby!" Screamed Sumner bringing her in for a hug while crying.

Taiyang, Qrow, and Yang wasted no time booking it to hug Sumner with Ruby. As everyone smiled Zex simply wheeled in a large box

"Okay hold your tears we still have more things to do!" Said Zex with a smile "Now What do you think is in the box?"

"I don't know what's in the box?" Asked Ironwood nursing his bruise

"Guess"

"What's in the box"

"Guess"

"C'mon what's in the box?"

"Guess"

"What's in the box?!" Ironwood screamed as Zex suddenly hit the floor laughing

"Ah classic" he said after three minutes of straight laughing "in this box is your gifts!"

"Wait what?!" Screamed everyone

"Well duh I already gave Qrow, Taiyang, Yang, Ruby, and Summer theirs" said Zex as said people smiled

"Then what do we get?" Asked An Ren

"Open the box and find out!" Said Zex in excitement

The first to step up was Weiss. She opened the box and, to her utter mind blown confusion, pulled out a Raiper that seemed...legendary.

"Ah you got that sword such an amazing tale!" Zex said with a smile

"What do you mean?" Asked Weiss

"That sword was forged by the father of Inigo Montoya! When a man with six fingers killed him over the sword Inigo vowed revenge and studied the sword for over twenty years! And when he found the six fingered man and was about to kill him he said 'Hello my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.' It was such an awesome ending for our lovable Spanish swordsman!" Zex said pridefully

Weiss was stunned. This sword took revenge on a man but helped a son avenge his father. It was was until Zex beamed the full story into her head. She saw everything from The Beginning to the end. The Rodents of Unbeliveable Size to The Six Fingered man's end. She was so happy for him and honored to carry his sword.

Wait a minute.

"Why are they frozen?!" She asked as she saw Winter, Qrow, Ironwood, Team SSSN, CRDL, CFY Taiyang, Summer, Ruby, Yang, and Ren's parents standing completely still.

"Oh them their gifts are not done being prepared yet. So it will take a bit for them to be ready." He answered

"Okay that's kinda messed up" said Blake freaked out

"Hey you try getting gifts as big as theirs in here without breaking a wall" Zex Deadpanned

"Oh sorry" said Blake

"But why are we unfrozen?" Asked Ren gesturing to himself and Nora

"Because your Father's and Mother's gift is not done yet" said Zex

They all accepted that as Phyrra walked up to the box and pulled out a Spartan Helmet.

"Yup that would work alot better for you Leonidous" Zex said while Phyrra gained a grin

Nora walked up and pulled out an Axe

"Ah The Leviathan Axe! That fits you well!" Zex yelled as Nora cheerfully swinged it testing it out

Blake walked over and pulled out a Katana

"Uh oh" "What do you mean uh oh?!" Yelled Blake

"That's a Muramasa Katana! Legend says that it can not be resheathed until it has had human blood on it's blade, or in legend a 'taste' of human blood!" Zex said as he sighed

Blake was terrified what kind of swordsmith would make such a sword.

"Now calm down this sword won't hurt you it seems to accept you as it's master meaning that it won't hurt you or anything like that. It will only harm your enemies!" Said Zex calming Blake down

Now it was Ren's turn and what he pulled out is what made everyone look at him in awe, except Zex. Ren pulled out a beautiful staff that seemed to be from a famous warrior.

"Ah Riyu Jingu Bang!" Said Zex

"Wait that sounds like Sun's weapon!" Yelled Blake

"Sun's weapon is named after it but this staff belonged to the real Sun Wukong. The Monkey King!" Said Zex Smiling but noticed something "Is something wrong Ren?"

Ren looked up at him "It doesn't feel right to be in my hands. I think it should go to Sun." He Said

"Yeah right as if I could ever live up to that dude!" Yelled a Voice

"Sun! You're unfrozen!" Yelled Blake as she noticed everyone else was Unfrozen as well

"Well yeah we could still see and hear what's going on but listen Ren." He looked at him "Sun Wukong was yeah the man who held our name but we got our name from him because of how similar we are to him. That staff chooses it's user and it choose you! So weird it with pride man I can teach you how to use a staff if you want." Sun finished his speech surprising everyone

"Thank you Sun I'll carry this with pride and yes I would like that" Replied Ten

"Alright now I'm gonna-" "What about our gifts?!" Yelled everyone else except A certain family.

"Remember what I said y'alls gifts are WAY too big to be brought in here and I still need time to finish theirs so cut me some slack!" Exclaimed Zex

"Well alright but they better be good" they all grumbled

"Well gotta go before y'all try to kill me bye!" Said Zex as a door appeared behind him only to be dragged in by a hand

"Whoa!" He yelled as the door slammed shut

"What just happened?" Ruby asked

* * *

_**Okay finally getting the hang of this...i think anyway Yeah hoped Y'all enjoyed! And if you want to appear in a chapter with a universe of your choosing send it to me I don't care how it is and I'll try my best! **_

_**(1) Azazel is from my story Jaune Arc: Revenger the first 3 chapters are an homage to the movie I hope I can bring it in sometime also if you want to make a reaction fic to it go ahead! It will allow y'all to make your own story and I can read it and enjoy it! I love to read y'alls opinions and try to fix myself from there! So i thought "why not let y'all have some fun too!" Go ahead y'all see ya!**_


	7. Question

**Hey Guys Zombie here and I was wondering. Would y'all wanna see Jaune as a U.S. Marine or any other branch? I know it seems random to ask but I honestly wanted to know if y'all would want to see that someday? Its yes my choice but I wanted to know if y'all would like that Idea let me know!**


	8. New Story!

**Hey Guys just letting you know that I made a new story and before you ask yes I do take request. Jaune will be a Marine in many of these realities and other branches. I hope you enjoy the new story!**


	9. Navy SEAL

**Hey Guys I'm working on a few special chapters and also other stories. I'll be making a chapter for A Marine's Home and in glad so many people like it! Anyway hope y'all like this chapter!**

* * *

Everyone was in the amphitheatre waiting for Zex to return. Until they heard what they believed were shoes walking across the floor.

"About time y-" Weiss didn't get to finish as she saw someone completely unexpected.

He was 6'9 with a very gruff outlook. He was in a white suit with many ribbons on his left side. They saw a golden anchor on his white collar and golden buttons all the way down his, what they assumed, his jacket. He had on white pants with black dress shoes. His skin was light and eyes dark brown. He had a beard and glasses. He stood there with a confidence that no one has ever seen, but the most noticeable thing was the golden eagle holding a trident above his ribbons.

"Oh sorry sir I thought you were someone else" Weiss said

"Ah so you are the one's who my grandson is bothering." He said with a chuckle

"Wait Grandson?!" They Yelled

"Yes I am James the grandfather of Zex." He stated

"But You two look nothing alike and you are so refined?!" Winter Yelled

"My daughter married his father after I died and as such he never got to meet me. He always wanted to though. Also my grandson is his own man I can't change that about him. He always has been. He is unique and as such will be different from me. He can be "refined" when he wants to Ms. Schnee." Said James

"Wait does that mean?" Asked An Dan

"Yes Ma'am I'm gonna show you a reality of Jaune in the U.S. Navy's Special Forces. Specifically his Hell Week." Said James making both Ironwood and Winter shudder

"What's that?" Asked Ruby

"Hell Week is essentially a right of passage for those in the military. My branch, The Navy, has one of the most infamous of the Hell Weeks." Explained James

"But Zex is joining The Marines how is the Navy's harder?" Asked Neptune

"One, The Navy's normal Bootcamp is still just as hard it's just that The Marines tend to be more motivated and physically fit. The Hell Week I went through is completely different. I was in the Special Forces is the most infamous of the U.S. Military. Jaune Arc will be a Navy SEAL." Explained James shocking everyone and they turned their attention to the screen.

**What they saw was a beach at night with the waves crashing into the rocks. They see a man in green camo pants and a blue shirt. He had on black combat boots that looked like they could stomp the moat dangerous of men into dust. He had a Hispanic skin tone and dark piercing brown eyes. This man was Chief Petty Officer Sanchez**

**"Arc get your ass over here!" Yelled out Sanchez**

**What they saw next made all the girls blush. Jaune came running up covered in sand but they saw something through his wet shirt. Jaune Arc had an eight pack and had his hair cut off.**

"Damn Arc when did you get so sexy mama likes~" Said Yang Lustfully

Ruby, Weiss, Pyrrha, and Velvet went off into lala land instantly. Weiss imagined being "held" by Jaune on a loving night, Pyrrha imagined Jaune above her on a couch, Velvet imagined Jaune being so gentle with her, and Ruby? Well I'm gonna have to be blunt about this but she imagined Jaune absolutely "Dominating" her. Yeah let's just say that those girls became thirsty as hell.

"I want him now!" They yelled out

"Weiss?!" Yelled Winter

"Sorry dear sister but I see something I want and I want it now!" Yelled Weiss as the other three girls agreed

"Ruby?!" Yelled her family

"Imma kill Arc" said Qrow

"Sorry but that's not gonna happen" said James

"And why is that?" Asked Taiyang cracking his knuckles

"Jaune Arc has been undergoing training from several people and well...lets just say my grandson made him the perfect warrior while maintaining his humanity." Said James "and ladies he now has a literal TON of stamina."

It was at that moment that the girls knew what they wanted and they wanted it soon.

* * *

Jaune stopped running and looked around him. He felt a cold chill run down his spine as he did it. Something was gonna happen that he wouldn't expect...oh fuck his life.

"Yo Jaune why did you stop?" Asked Running Partner

"I don't know but something is gonna happen David" said Jaune Arc to his running partner David Goggins

"Ah I think i know what ot is but it's a surprise" said David chuckling "now let's keep moving!"

"Alright let's go!" Said Jaune as he ran with Goggins for his 15th mile

* * *

**"Yes Sir" yelled out Jaune**

**Sanchez pointed out to the surf "Swim out there and find your boat crew!" **

**"Yes Sir!" Yelled out Jaune as he charged into the surf surprising the Chief Petty Officer**

**"Well then Arc let's see what you got?" Said Sanchez**

"Wait! Does that mean Jaune wasn't supposed to do that?!" Yelled put Yastuyashi

"Just watch and see" Said James

**Jaune was swimming through the rough waters thinking "what an I doing" "why am I doing this" and "Who am i" until he came to a realization**

**"I'm Jaune Fucking Arc! Yeah I've had a shitty life but you know what fuck that! I'm becoming a SEAL and I'll prove them all wrong!" Thought Jaune as he swam through the waters.**

**Jaune looked through the waters and saw the boat lights. He smiled and started screaming.**

**"HEY Boat Crew 5 where are you at!"**

**Jaune didn't need ro swim a meter further as a boat crew paddled towards him. As Jaune swam up to them he was pulled in by someone they recognized.**

"Zex?!" They all Yelled

"Zex?" Said James "That's not his name"

"Wait what?!" Scremed Ironwood "does that mean he is hiding his real name?!"

"Most likely after all he doesn't want to be traced back to people but i think this will reveal, at least, his last name" said James

**"You are one crazy son of a bitch you know that!" Zex yelled **

**"Well yeah Louviere it takes alot to kill a SEAL" replied Jaune**

**Louviere, or Zex, simply smiled back "you're god damn right about that!" **

**The screen faded to black**

"So that's his last name?" Asked Ruby

"Yes Ma'am it is" said James

"Then what's yours?" Asked Weiss

"Ponder" said James

"Wow that's amazing!" Yelled Ruby

"Well my time is up everyone but please do keep an eye on him for me" said James

"Wait does that mean" asked Ren but as they all blinked he disappeared

"Did we just talk to a ghost?" Asked a wide eyed Cardin

"I believe we did" replied Ozpin "Rest in Peace Mr. Ponder"

* * *

_**Okay now I know you all are wondering why I put my grandpa in this chapter. It didn't feel right not to include him when I'm talking about The Navy SEALs. Also I modeled the Story after David Goggins's second Hell Week because got to give that man a shout out! Anyway the latest Chapter of A Marine's Home will be worked on after the next chapter of this! **_


	10. Death Battle

**Hey Guys Zombie here and I was wondering. Decided to finally drag Deadpool into the story but it's gonna be the DeathBattle Variant and the next give chapters will be Jaune as certain Characters from DeathBattle! From TJ Combo to Deadpool! Hope Y'all enjoy**

* * *

Everyone was waiting in the room for Zex to reappear again. He was dragged through a door and hasn't returned yet. Everyone was doing their own thing, Qrow was standing beside winter with an Umbrella, and doing their own thing.

"Why do you have an Umbrella?" Winter Asked

"Because I don't wanna get crushed AGAIN!" Qrow replied angrily

"But he can just make the Umbrella disappear" Winter Deadpanned

"Let me have some hope damn it!" He Yelled

"Yeah Ice Queen let him have some hope!" Said a Voice

Winter turned around and saw Zex standing their with...a head?

"Boo!" The head said making Winter scream

"Okay that's enough out of you" Zex said kicking the head into the screen

"I'll be back!" "You are not The Terminator!"

Everyone knew the drill at this point and say I'm their seats with Winter clinging onto Qrow in fear.

"Um why are you holding on to me?" Asked Qrow

"Because that head was Scary!" She Yelled back at him

"Hold the fuck up! How are you scared of a decapitated head? You fight Monsters for Fuck's sake!" Yelled Zex

"Did You need to be so Vulgar about it?" Asked Weiss

"Yes"

"No you didn't Apologize"

"Jack would you please" Said Zex stepping aside as a Skeleton walked up to Weiss and SCREAMED like a banshee

Weiss screamed and hid behind a chair.

"Thank you old friend!" Zex said Chipperly

"You're Welcome!" He said as he walked through a door with a pumpkin on it

"Now Lets begin!" Zex said

"Wait why are you so annoyed?" Asked Ruby

"Because I had a rough day and yes I do apologize for it I'm not ready for today" Zex said with a sigh

_**T**_**hey saw an into with a gate closing, fire roaring, and chains swinging on the Screen. The words written on it were something known as DEATHBATTLE. **

_**Wiz: ****Fiction has a very fragile set of rules. Authors should be wary, as one small crack can be enough to smash the boundary and send their stories careening out of control.**_

**Boomstick: Are we really doing this?**

_**Wiz: We're really doing this**_.

**Boomstick: Well, here's Deadpool, Marvel's Merc with a Mouth.**

"Hey that was the dude who showed up out of nowhere!" Yelled Ruby

"Yeah and he is an asshole at times" Deadpanned Sex

_**Wiz: And Pinkie Pie, Equestria's peppy party pony.**_

**Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

"Deathbattle?!" Yelled Weiss and Ruby fearing for the pony's safety

"Don't question it just watch" said Zex making them glare at him only to see him rubbing his forehead?

* * *

DEADPOOL

(*Cues: Deadpool Theme - Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2*)

**_Wiz: Loneliness. Depression. Cancer. When you think of the Merc with a Mouth, these are unlikely to be the first things you associate with the assassin called Deadpool. Yet, before the red and black suit, these were the ingredients in the life of Jaune Arc._**

**Boomstick: Blah blah blah, we've been over this before. How about we just skip to the best parts?**

**_Deadpool: Hold up hold up hold up! You just can't skip my amazing origin story like that! I have a movie now, so we have all this crispy new footage to use. For educational purposes of course_**

"Did he just talk to them?" Asked Li Ren

"Nah there is no way" replied Cardin

_**Deadpool: Hey Cardin there is something on your face!**_

All they saw was his fist come out of the screen and hit him dead in the nuts...WAIT WHAT

**IT WAS PAIN#!**

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Yelled Yang

"That wasn't even my face you asshole!" Yelled Cardin as another fist came out and punched him in the face

"Calm down and get used to it" said Zex

**Boomstick: Wiz, he's back! Where's my shotgun?**

_**Wiz: Just ignore him. In short, Arc was a mercenary who developed cancer.**_

"eh?" Said Ruby with a tilt of her head

**_Deadpool: I had 34 tumors. They were literally everywhere._**

"That's awful" said Summer

"Poor guy" Velvet said

**Boomstick: So, the guys who messed with Wolverine picked him up, injected him with weird healing fluids, and turned him into a rotten testicle. Hey, that would've been a much better superhero name for you.**

"What kind of origin story is that?" Asked Fox

_**Deadpool: Hey! I didn't complain about your origin so shut it!**_

"Excuse me?!" He yelled but was calmed down by Coco

**_Deadpool: Whatever you say, Captain Bucktooth. You know as well as I do that I'm kind of a big deal, and I've always lived that lit, fresh, mercenary life. (Australian accent) And I even partner up with famous little Wolvie on occasion, (back to his normal voice) like when I worked with the... X-Force._**

"That's a cool team name!" Yelled Nora

**Boomstick: Where's your mute button?**

**_Deadpool: I probably left it in the Savage land after my dinosaur rodeo._**

**Boomstick/Audience: The Wh-What?**

**_Deadpool: Oh yeah, check it out, I took a selfie. #Nofilter._**

**They saw a picture of Deadpool using nothing but vines and his katana sword, which is impaled in the mouth, riding a Raptor.**

"That is awesome!"Yelled both Ruby and Yang

**Boomstick: Huh, would you look at that.**

(*Cues: Marvel vs Capcom 3 - Daily Bugle*)

**_Wiz: Speaking of Wolverine, Deadpool gained a healing factor from those experiments, which easily trumps anything the X-Man can do. He's strong enough to redirect a rouge helicopter, fights faster than a normal man can react, and is an expert marksman with virtually any weapon he touches._**

"He has to be Special Forces" said an Impressed Ironwood

"He is" deadpanned Sex

**_Deadpool: To all my adoring fans out there, you know what I'm all about. Swords! I got 'em. They're made of this nano-ceramic fiber, sharp enough to cut through Spidey's webs, and right through his franchise! (laughs) Grenades, shurikens, bolas and sais; all that good Naruto stuff. I got 'em on deck, baby. Personal fave though, bullets. I spread 'em like Santa spreads Christmas joy!_**

**Boomstick/Ruby/Summer: Are those Heckler and Koch Mark 23 pistols?**

**_Deadpool: Yeah, but they can be whatever you want them to be, baby. (blows a kiss)_**

"Stay away from him Ruby." Stated Taiyang

"Why?! He seems so cool!" Asked Ruby

"You will find out later" Answered Zex

**Boomstick: Oh right, you got the magic bag with the elephant.**

**_Deadpool/Yang: Wait, what're you talking about? What elephant?_**

**_Wiz: After gaining his enhanced abilities, Deadpool's life only got stranger. He's gone on time-traveling adventures with the mutant, Cable, joined the Agent X mercenary force, temporarily gained the Power Cosmic, and even got involved in a love triangle involving Death._**

"Wait, he did what?" Said Ren

"Apparently he fell in love with Death...how?" Asked Goodwitch

**_Deadpool: Oh, that whole debacle? Okay, so get this: You know the Grim Reaper, specter of death and all that? Well, turns out she's this sexy hot skeleton babe, and she totally digs the Deadpool, but our Facebook status is still on "It's complicated" because I'd have to die to be with her, and then Thanos shows up to try and take her for himself! He cursed me with immortality so I could never see my boo again, but he later took the curse back because he really wanted to kill me, but he can't, because then I'd win and he knows it._**

"So this Thanos guy wants mistress death and he can't die because of Thanos." Said Blake

"Yup" said Zex

"Then he took back the curse he specifically put on him because he wanted to kill him that bad"

"Yup"

"So WHY didn't he just kill himself? That seems a like a better solution than to just curse another man and then take it back because you can't kill him."

"Because he wants to kill half of the universe on her behalf in order to gain her love."

"That is so stupid" said Winter

**Boomstick: And I thought I had issues.**

**_Deadpool: Sucks to be a galactic lord! Pretty good for a Vancouver Canadian, right?_**

No one said anything as they knew was awesome...but still found the situation ridiculous.

(*Cues: Deadpool Theme - Metal Remix*)

_**Wiz: Deadpool may be effective as a wisecracking merc, but when he gets serious, he becomes nigh-unstoppable, as far as super-enhanced, cancer-ridden assassins go. He's gone toe-to-toe against Captain America, infiltrated Doctor Doom's country of Latveria, and defeated a horde of 100 ninjas while talking on the phone.**_

"That is amazing!" Velvet said

"Okay is there any weaknesses to this guy?!" Asked Ironwood

**Boomstick: Even if you could top that fighting skill, Deadpool's healing factor puts him on a whole 'nother level. It's let him dive head-first out of a moving plane, survive the friggin' Chrysler Building falling on top of him, stroll right out of nuclear explosions, and even regenerated from being turned into a puddle! Though, that same healing factor is also part of Deadpool's biggest weakness.**

"Oh so he can survive all that?!" Ironwood yelled in frustration

"Finally a weakness" said Ironwood making Ozpin chuckle

**_Deadpool: Hey, you dissing me, bub? And fuck you Irondick at least I don't try to show everyone how superior I am by bringing an army to a city._**

"Excuse me?!" Yelled Ironwood making Qrow laugh

"I like this guy"

_**"oh if you want to know how much he is compensating for ask Goodwitch!" **_

Everyone looked at Goodwitch as she was a blushing mess

"Is it true?" Asked Coco

"Yup" said Goodwitch

**Wiz: No, Boomstick actually has a pretty good point. Years of immortality has let you get away with being sloppy in your approach, which allows a clever enough opponent to gain an upper hand, like this.**

"what does that mean" asked a nervous Pyrrha

**_A pencil shows up out of nowhere and begins to erase Deadpool._**

**_Deadpool: Hey, w-what, hey, hey, what's that? What're you doing!? No, you monsters! I won't go the way of Amazing Spider-Man!_**

**Wiz: Oh, quit whining, you'll be back.**

**_Deadpool: NOOO!_**

**_The pencil finishes erasing Deadpool._**

"What just happened?" Asked Weiss

"Wiz erased Deadpool for a short period of time so we could have a nice relaxing break from him" replied Zex

**Boomstick: Since when could you do that?**

_**Wiz: It's been two years since our last Deadpool episode. I've had plenty of prep time.**_

Everyone liked Deadpool Jaune. He had a bit of a flare to him that made him extremely fun to watch. While he tended to have a bit of drama and a tragic story they couldn't help but like the guy. Qrow did like the fact he frustrated Ironwood.

* * *

PINKIE PIE

Zex inhaled.

"Are you okay?" Asked Sun

"Just stealing myself while I like this one it really hurts my head on what she can do." He replied

"Oh. Maybe your grandfather can help?" Asked Sun

"My grandfather is dead."

That shut everyone up and they had a cold chill go down their spine as he confirmed their suspicions.

"Why did you bring him up?" Asked Zex

"He showed us a reality where Jaune became a Navy SEAL and you were with his Boat Crew Mr. Louviere." Replied Ozpin

Zex stopped and laughed. "Man if I was here a few minutes earlier I would've gotten to meet him huh?"

"Yes Mr. Louviere"

"Well I'm glad y'all got to meet him! I hope I'm here the next time he visits!" Zex, or Louviere, said "also keep calling me Zex it's what you are most familiar with"

"Okay/yeah/Alright" came the replies

(*Cues: An Old Mare's Tale - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic*)

_**Wiz: The land of Equestria, a magical kingdom full of rolling plains, beautiful mountain ranges, and rainbows. A place where you just can't help but be happy... unless you happen to live on a rock farm.**_

(*Cues: Lon Lon Ranch - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time*)

"Wait what?" Said most of the group

**Boomstick/CRDL: The hell's a rock farm? Like, a quarry?**

"That would make the most sense"" said Weiss with Winter and Ironwood agreeing

_**Wiz: No-no-no. They literally farm rocks. For these ponies, rocks were their life. They harvested rocks, they sculpted rocks, they played with rocks, they built their homes from rocks, they even ate rocks.**_

"How do you eat rocks?" Asked Neptune

"There is a type of eating disorder that can make you eat stuff like rocks but how dis they live is the question?" Said Scarlet

"Magic" replied Zex

"Excuse you" said Ironwood

"Trust me logic is about to go out the window" Zex said with a smile

**Boomstick: Well, one pony on this farm wasn't quite as rock crazy as the rest of her family. Oh no, she's a whole 'nother level of crazy. This is Pinkamina Diane Pie. Just call her Pinkie Pie.**

**They saw an adorable little pony that was all pink!**

"she is so adorable!" Squealed Ruby and Weiss

(*Cues: Pinkie Pie's Theme - My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic*)

_**Wiz: One day, chipping away in the grueling rock fields as always, Pinkie witnessed something that would change her life forever.**_

**Boomstick: Colors!**

"has she never seen color before?" Asked Sky

"Yup" replied Zex

_**Wiz: The very sight of this unprecedented explosion of color, which originated from Rainbow Dash's first legendary Sonic Rainboom, instantly brought Pinkie the most joy she had ever felt in her life. Brimming with happiness, she wanted to share her newfound jubilation with her grim-faced family.**_

**Boomstick: So, she stayed up all night organizing a surprise party, it was so off the chain, that it made them all smile for the first time, which was actually quite horrifying.**

"Yup that is scary" said Nora sarcastically

_**Wiz: That's when Pinkie finally realized that her life's mission was meant to bring joy to all.**_

_Pinkie's cutie mark emerges._

**Boomstick: Wait, what's that thing on her butt?**

_**Wiz: Oh, that's a cutie mark, every pony gets one when they discover their calling in life.**_

"That's an interesting way to find your calling" said Blake

**Boomstick: Oh, I got one of those! After I found out alcohol and guns were my calling, I woke up and found a beer bottle crossed with two shotguns on my left butt cheek.**

"That is a Tattoo you red-necked buffoon" said Winter

_**Wiz: Boomstick, that's a tattoo. you don't remember it because you passed out drunk in the parlor chair.**_

**Boomstick: But booze and weapons do define my life, don't they?**

_**Wiz: Well, sure, but...**_

**Boomstick: Then it's fate. Anyway, now that she had something better to do than farm rocks for a living, Pinkie left home and ended up in Ponyville. She landed a job and bed at the Sugarcube Corner bakery and set out to befriend every single pony in town, usually with a welcoming song and dance.**

_Pinkie starts up a music wagon._

(*Cues: MLP:FIM - Welcome Song (Instrumental)*)

_Pinkie: Welcome welcome welcome, a fine welcome to you! Welcome welcome welcome Death Battle, how do you do?_

"Don't tell me!" Yelled Weiss

**Boomstick: Wait, what the- How does it know, Wiz?!**

_**Wiz: I guess now's as good a time as any to mention that Pinkie Pie also sees past the fourth wall.**_

"NOOOOOOO" Yelled Ironwood

"Don't rip off Darth Vader!" Yelled Sex

_Pinkie: Sorry, did I interrupt you guys?_

**Boomstick: Nah, we were just trying to do a show, but yeah, by all means, tell 'em about yourself while I go grab a beer.**

"Really you're drinking now?!" Said Goodwitch

"Its happy hour somewhere in the world" Replied Qrow as he took a swig from his flask

(*Cues: My Little Pony - Babs Seed - Clean Instrumental*)

_Pinkie: Well, I can sing, I can dance, I throw the bestest parties, I can-_

**Boomstick: No, no, no. (He opens a beer.) The awesome stuff! Give 'em something lethal!**

"Wjy did he need to specify that?" Asked Taiyang confused

"Because ponies are not very violent in their world" Explained Zex

(*Cues: My Little Metal Medley*)

_Pinkie: What? I'd never hurt anyone! Well, unless it's an evil, shapeshifting Changeling. That's why I never leave home without my Party Cannon! Usually, this beauty can set up an entire party in a single shot, but when things get tough, I use it to smother my enemies in bubbles of cake batter, it's my own recipe, wanna try some bubble gum cupcakes? They're fresh and sticky!_

**Boomstick: Eh, I'm good.**

_Pinkie: Okay, also, I think one time, my Party Cannon blew up half a building! But that totally wasn't my fault!_

"That looks like your fault to me" giggled Ruby

_Pinkie: I didn't mean too!_

_**Wiz: Uh, well, Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon is child's play compared to her own abilities, her body seems to have highly elastic properties, allowing her to stretch impossible distances, inflate like a balloon, or, more practically, shake off hits powerful enough to send her through walls.**_

_Pinkie: Bathtubs ARE dangerous!_

"How did she weaponize a bath tub?" Asked Scarlet

**Boomstick: On top of all that, her mane can morph into a drill and tunnel through the earth, she's fast enough to keep up with Rainbow Dash, and she can control the very laws of physics!**

_Pinkie slides back up a slide as her friends watch._

_Fluttershy: So, um, do we walk back up the slide, or-or what?_

Ironwood, Winter, Weiss, and Goodwitch all had one thing happen to them. Their minds broke.

"She-How?!" Yelled Ironwood

**Boomstick: Even if you think you've got the upper hand on her, she's got her own Pinkie Sense that lets her predict oncoming threats.**

_Pinkie: The twitchin' means my Pinkie Sense is telling me that stuffs gonna start falling, sometimes it's a bunch of random things happening in my body at random times that supposedly predict the future, I call 'em "combos"._

(We see Pinkie in disguise as Mare-Do-Well, running through falling debris, an arrow points to her with the words "Pinkie Pie in disguise")

**Boomstick: Her Pinkie Sense is so precise, she can expertly maneuver through a collapsing skyscraper under construction, while saving four other ponies.**

"Impressive" said Ozpin

_**Wiz: Pinkie Sense? How about nonsense? None of this is scientifically possible!**_

_Pinkie: Sometimes you just have to believe in things, even if you can't figure them out!_

_**Wiz: No, I can't do that! Deciphering the impossible is literally what we do here!**_

"I agree that is all impossible!" Screamed Winter

**Boomstick: What the hell's with all these ponies? Are they all like this? Why?**

_**Wiz: Oh, this madness goes even further. Even if you were to somehow damage Pinkie Pie's body, she can just reassemble herself on the spot! And no one can escape her. Not even Rainbow Dash. You know, the pony who can fly over 3,800 miles per hour?**_

Jaws hit the floor

"Dang she is fast" whistled Yang

**Boomstick: Guess we should all be thankful that she uses these powers for good. With the help of her friends, Pinkie's saved the world several times, like when her group went up against a glowy horse powerful enough to move the moon.**

_**Wiz: Pinkie's spastic demeanor might make her seem like a hapless child, but she's actually pretty smart, she knows the names, birthdays, preferences, and locations of every single citizen of Ponyville by memory. She's so meticulous, she plans things out decades in advance from her secret, party planning Batcave. She also frequently alters her own personal gravity, without having to affect the world around her. By inexplicably changing physics like this, Pinkie Pie is theoretically capable of, well, just about anything.**_

"That is one powerful horse" said Coco

"Maybe we should capture one?" Pondered Ironwood

"Don't even try it" Zex said telepathically

**Broomstick: Okay, for a peppy pink pony, this filly is actually kinda scary, only way it could get any worse is if there were a whole army of Pinkie Pie's.**

_Pinkie: Heh, funny you should say that._

"I got a bad feeling about this" said Yastuyashi

_Several Pinkie Clones begin to storm the screen._

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

_Clones: Fun! Fun! Fun!_

**Boomstick: No... no no no!**

_Pinkie: I can always use the mirror pool, my Nana Pinkie taught me how to use it to duplicate myself over and over and over and-_

"Make it stop!" Yelled Ironwood

_**Wiz: Pony! No more, no more, just go back to Ponyville. You'll-you'll be getting a new visitor soon. Very soon! Like, right now soon.**_

_Pinkie: (Gasps) Really?! Oh my gosh, I can't wait! (Zips off)_

(*Cues: My Little Metal Medley again]*)

**Boomstick: Well, good thing she's easily distracted. She may be some weird, ultra-powerful cartoon being, but she's anything but a fighter. **

"Wait does that mean she is a pacifist?" Asked Russel

"Yup and I already told you that" said Zex

_**Wiz: What's more, she can be emotionally fragile at times, if her mood turns negative, she loses her will to do the one thing she loves most, spreading happiness to every pony she meets.**_

**Boomstick: And like it or not, Pinkie WILL spread happiness to you, no matter how hard you struggle.**

_Pinkie: Isn't this exciting? Are you excited? Because I'm excited, I've never been so excited, well, except for the time I went *gasps* but I mean-_

**The Death Battle logo cuts her off. **

"Okay opinions?" Asked Zex

"She will lose" said nearly everyone

"Alrighty then" said Zex

* * *

(*Cues: Hyrule Field - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time*)

**On a bright and sunny day in Ponyville, Deadpool suddenly is teleported into a nearby forest.**

(*Cues: Groose Theme - The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword*)

**Deadpool lands hard on the ground and gets up.**

**_Deadpool: Ow, dude!_**

**Jaune looks around his environment.**

**_Deadpool: Oh, hello again, Death Battle! So, who's the lucky victim?_**

**He then turns his head to get his answer when he hears a noise.**

**_Deadpool: You cannot be serious right now._**

"Oh but we are Jaune." Said Weiss

**Pinkie is strolling happily through the forest and becomes ecstatic when she sees Deadpool. She quickly bolts over to him, which leaves behind a cloud of smoke that leaves Wade coughing. Jaune slowly starts backing up when Pinkie starts talking fast.**

**_Pinkie: Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie! I've never seen you before? Are you new? You must be new! Prepare to be welcomed!_**

"Please don't start singjng" Said Taiyang

**Deadpool starts looking around when he hears loud music in the background. Pinkie starts singing the welcome song.**

**_Pinkie: Welcome Welcome Welc-_**

"Nooooooooo" yells Qrow praying someone stops the singing

**Deadpool stops her by putting his hand in front of her mouth.**

**_Deadpool: NO! None of that! Shame on you!_**

"Thank you!" Yelled most of the guys

**Pinkie kicks Deadpool upward and sends him back a couple of yards.**

**_Pinkie: I'm gonna welcome you one way or another!_**

"Well that escalated quickly" said Goodwitch

(*Cues: I Want To Live! ~Pirate Warriors 3 Mix~ - One Piece: Pirate Warriors 3*)

**FIGHT!**

**Pinkie leaps across the beam separating the two fighter locations and kicks Jaune. Deadpool kicks her back to the previous area into a combo with Shoryukens. He kicks her back farther and brings out his guns.**

**_Deadpool: I'm gonna turn ya into glue!_**

"Please don't do that Jaune!" Yelled Ruby

**Pinkie uses her speed to dodge the bullets and goes behind for a sneak attack, but Jaune catches her before she can inflict and damage.**

**_Deadpool: Gotcha!_**

**Deadpool kicks her upward and sends her flying away.**

**_Pinkie: I'll be back! Pinkie Promise!_**

"She got some air!" Yelled Cardin

**_Deadpool: Easy peesy lemon squeezy._**

**Deadpool then starts feeling the ground shake and an onslaught of "welcomes."**

**_Pinkie (clones): Welcome!_**

**_Deadpool: Oh what the-_**

**Deadpool then notices the rating TV-Y7 in the top right corner.**

"No cussing here mister!" Giggled Summer

**_Deadpool: ...heck._**

**Deadpool uses his katanas to slice through all of the Pinkie clones. He then reaches out of the video for the YouTube like/dislike bar.**

"Since when could he do that?!" Yelled Ironwood

"He breaks the forth wall so yeah he can do that bud" explained Zex

**_Deadpool: Like Ryan Reynolds senpai once said, MAXIMUM EFFORT!_**

**He uses the like bar as a lightsaber and slices through the rest of the Pinkie clones. He then leaps up to attack the real Pinkie.**

**_Deadpool: Ya like this!?_**

**Pinkie defends herself by grabbing a YouTube ad of Super Rad Raygun.**

**_Deadpool: We're going viral!_**

"Oh great she can do it too!" Yelled Qrow

**Deadpool then stops the fight.**

**(*Cues: Pirates - The Legend of Zelda The Wind Waker*)**

**_Deadpool: Hey wait wait wait wait wait whoa..._**

"Huh? What is he doing?" Asked Ruby

**_You see those things too?_**

**_Pinkie: Yeah! I mean, usually they're kind of annoying, but..._**

**_Deadpool: Say no more, tiny pink horse. On the count of three, say what your favorite food is. One, two three, chimichangas!_**

**_Pinkie: Cherrychangas!_**

**Deadpool pushes behind the line separating the two in the video.**

**_Deadpool/Ruby: The heck's a cherrychanga?_**

**_Pinkie: Only the most delicious, most awesomest thing you've ever tasted! BAM!_**

**Pinkie slaps a cherrychanga onto Deadpool's and Ruby's face. Jaune and Ruby are stunned.**

"Oh my God" yelled Yang

"Yo" replied God

"Are you okay?!"

"Yeah I'm good thanks for asking"

**_Deadpool/Ruby: It's wonderful..._**

**_Pinkie: Does this mean we're friends now?_**

**Deadpool shakes the rest of the cherrychanga off of his face and hugs her.**

**_Deadpool: Uh, best friends!_**

"Hey me and Jaune are besties" pouted Ruby

**_Pinkie: Wanna have some fun?_**

**_Deadpool: Oh, mercilessly!_**

"I don't like the sound of that" said Velvet gulping

**Deadpool and Pinkie leap out of the video and onto the row of suggested videos, first entering Batman VS Captain America.**

(*Cues: Encounter - Super Smash Bros Brawl*)

**Captain America gets surrounded by smoke grenades in the alley and throws his shield. A figure that bears a resemblance to Batman holding his shield walks up, but it's actually just a disguised Deadpool.**

**_Deadpool: YAAAHOO!_**

"Is he messing with other fights?!" Yelled Yang

"Yup" said Zex drinking some Wine with Jesus

**Deadpool throws Captain America's shield right in the hero's face.**

**It then cuts over to the opening of Ken VS Terry. After Terry breakdances to evade Ken's attack, he is surprised by Deadpool and Pinkie.**

**_Deadpool: Oh! Dance off!_**

(*Cues: Come On! - Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga*)

**The two start dancing with a beatbox in the background.**

**_Pinkie: Yeah! Let's move it! Like that! Yeah!_**

**Terry is too shocked at the moment.**

**_Terry: Get serious!_**

**The equally disturbed Ken then throws a quick hadouken that catches Terry by surprise**

"That looked like it hurt" winced Blake

**It then cuts to the middle of Amy Rose VS Ramona Flowers. Amy starts breaking the arcade machines when she tries to whack Ramona. The two are stopped by Pinkie's crying.**

**_Pinkie: NOO! I was gonna play that one!_**

"Why were they fighting in an arcade?" Asked Ozpin

**_Deadpool: C'mon! I've found the jackpot!_**

**On the YouTube menu, Deadpool points to an episode of the podcast, Death Battle Cast.**

**_Deadpool: Look!_**

**Pinkie is too distracted looking at the thumbnail for the episode Starscream VS Rainbow Dash.**

**_Pinkie: Hi, Rainbow Dash!_**

"I feel so bad for all those people they are bothering" said Goodwitch

**_Deadpool: No, not that one, that one! Those are the guys responsible for sticking us in these battles in the first place!_**

**_Pinkie: You mean Wiz and Boomstick?_**

(*Cues: One Punch Man - Kai*)

**_Deadpool: Oh no, I'm talking even MORE meta. I think it's time we had some REAL fun..._**

"Uh oh" said Everyone except Zex

**It then cuts to the middle of a Death Battle Cast episode.**

**Chad: And that was the last time I ever made a waffle...**

**Deadpool and Pinkie crash through the ceiling, startling Ben Singer, Chad James, and Nick Cramer.**

**Pinkie: Ow! My tail!**

"Who are those guys?" Asked Sun

"The creators of Death Battle" said Zex

"But her tail is nothing more than fur though? How did it hurt?" Asked Ruby

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

**Deadpool gets up and points at the cast.**

**_Deadpool: You! I finally found you! (Ben) The idiot with the stupid face, (Chad) the idiot with the stupid hair, (Nick) and the idiot who writes my jokes because he thinks he's funnier than me!_**

**_Nick: Well, I mean, I did write that one so... it was me._**

**_Deadpool: I just got one question for you all. Just one! Why oh why, would you pull me into another one of these battles... on my birthday! Come on!_**

**_Pinkie: Wait a minute! You didn't tell me it was your birthday!_**

**Pinkie quickly snatches Deadpool away from the cast. The three men are confused at what just happened.**

**_Chad/Ironwood: What the f-_**

(*Cues: Cutie Mark Crusaders go Crusading*)

**Pinkie uses her Party Cannon and hosts a birthday party for Deadpool at Ponyville, and the main cast from _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_, comes to attend.**

**_Ponies: Surprise!_**

**_Deadpool: Well, so much for the "Death" in "Death Battle," now, right?_**

**_Pinkie: Another happy ending!_**

**The two laugh as the camera fades to dark.**

"What?" Said all of the Audience

* * *

Results

(*Cues: Pinkie Pie's Parasprite Polka*)

**Boomstick: What the... WHERE'S THE CARNAGE? What a cop-out!**

_**Wiz: I don't... I- I can't... this isn't how it's supposed to be!**_

"I'm confused did the match end with them as friends?" Asked Yang

"Yup" said Zex

**Boomstick: I mean, I guess it makes sense when you think about it. Weren't you the one who said breaking the rules would careen out of control or whatever?**

_**Wiz: Don't ask me, this wasn't my call.**_

"Yeah you did say that Mr. Wiz" said Ruby

"I guess that was foreshadowing then" said Blake

**Boomstick: Sooo... who wins? Who loses?**

_**Wiz: Boomstick, I think... the loser is us.**_

**Boomstick: F***ing pony!**

and like that the entire room laughed at their frustration.

"Alright folks I'll see y'all later!" Said Zex as he popped out of existance

* * *

**Here Y'all go hope y'all enjoyed! **


	11. Balrog vs Jaune 'TJ Combo' Arc

**Heads up Everyone there is a lemon! It Will be exained at the end don't worry!**

* * *

Everyone was asleep when all of a sudden.

"Lets get ready to RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!" Zex popped into existence yelling scaring everyone

"Dude we are trying to sleep!" yelled Sun who, unknowingly, was cuddled up to Blake

"Said the dude who is cuddled up to the kitty!" Laughed Zex as Sun looked down and saw Blake sleeping peacefully on him

Sun froze and didn't know what to do. Blake was on him and was pretty much using him as a pillow.

"Okay remain calm Sun just explain it when she wakes up!" Sun said to himself as it showed his internal thoughts

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

Yeah Sun didn't want to die and ruin his friendship with Blake. So when she started to wake up on boy did he die on the inside. Blake stared at Sun and slowly began to blush.

"Calm down Blake you cuddled up to him last night for warmth." explained Zex watching out for a brother in need

"_Thank you!"_ Sun mentally screamed

_"You're welcome!"_ Zex replied telepathically

Everyone else woke up and saw Zex standing there in...you have got to be kidding me. He is dressed up like a referee from a Championship boxing match.

"I'm guessing this has to do with today's episode" sighed Taiyang

"Yup but y'all will love it!" Zex replied giddy

Alrighty then they sat down to watch the next thing

**DEATH BATTLE**

...Wait what?

"Another one?!" Ironwood yelled

"Yup!" Zex smiled

"Uh oh" said Qrow

"Not him again!" Winter Yelled

_**Deadpool: Oh hell yes I'm coming back baby!**_

"nope" record scratch

_**what?**_

"You are next chapter BITCH!" Zex yelled as he snapped his fingers

_**YOU SON OF A-**_

Deadpool was seen flying across the screen to not come back til later.

"Thank everything holy" Qrow sighed in relief

"Yup cause we have a Boxing match today!" Zex exclaimed excited

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

**Boomstick: Thousands of years ago, one Greek guy punched another Greek guy, and then they just turned it into a sport.**

_**Wiz: Indeed, boxing is one of the oldest Olympic sports, and has since been refined and perfected over nearly 3,000 years**_.

"Wait what?!" Yang Yelled

"Yup boxing was one of the martial arts humans ever came up with. Before we learned how to kick we always learn how to throw a good ol'fashioned punch. After all it was made by the Greeks and used by them in something called 'The Olympics'!" Zex stated

"Wait one of the oldest? Which ones are the others?" Blake Asked curious

"Well those styles are Kalripayattu, Pankration, and Shaolin Kung Fu. Those are the only ones I know for certain. Pankration was used by the Greeks and incorporates boxing in it. Hell there is a story where a champion boxer died defending his title. Don't fuck with anyone from ancient Grecce!" Zex yelled and making everyone sit there in awe

**Boomstick: And today, we're pitting two of gaming's toughest boxers head-to-head.**

_**Wiz: Balrog, the crazy buffalo from Street Fighter.**_

**They see an African american man wearing boxing gloves standing in what they could assume was his victory pose. **

"Dang he is all muscle!" Coco yelled

"And scary" Velvet muttered

**Boomstick: And TJ Combo, the hard hitting champ from Killer Instinct.**

They see a white male with blonde hair throwing out a jab.

"Jaune?!" Everyone yelled

Weiss was in awe at the man before her. He looked so determined amd well...it made her hot under the collar. Winter definetly noticed her sister blushing up a storm as did Yang. One was praying she didn't see what was true while the other was utterly fuming.

**He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

* * *

Balrog

(*Cues: Balrog Theme - Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix*)

_**Wiz: Boxer. Gambler. Cheater. Heavyweight champ Balrog has been called many things. Merciful was never one of them.**_

"Im gonna hate this guy aren't I?" Taiyang said with a glare

"Yup!" Zex replied

**Boomstick: Hard to blame him, given his rough upbringing. Born and raised in a ghetto neighborhood, the young brawler to be had one goal: to leave his poor family and taste that sweet, sweet American dream. You know, the boozing, gambling, and womanizing kind of dream!**

"Excuse me!" Goodwitch yelled fuming

"Calm down Glynda." Ozpin ordered

"Why should I?!" She yelled back

"Because Mr. Arc will punch him in the face for you" Ozpin replied

"How do we know he won't lose to him?" Ironwood Asked

"I have faith in Mr. Arc" Ozpin answered

_**Wiz: A brute at heart, Balrog learned early on that he had a gift for roughing others up. A gift which he soon turned into a professional boxing career.**_

**Boomstick: Does that really surprise anyone, though? I mean, look at the guy! His skin can barely even contain his own muscles!**

(*Cues: Theme of Balrog - Street Fighter V*)

_**Wiz: At 6 foot 4 and 298 pounds, Balrog is a monster. Compared to real life boxers, Balrog would be the second largest heavyweight champion in the entire history of the sport.**_

Qrow whistled

"That's a lot of muscle" Fox stated

"Yeah but I bet he has no stamina" whispered Coco in his ear making him blush

**Boomstick: Talk about a beast! He makes good use of that size and strength, as he specializes in slugger style boxing.**

"what?" Ruby asked

_**Wiz/Taiyang: Out of the four generally accepted styles of boxing, sluggers are the most straightforward. They sacrifice mobility and finesse in favor of unwavering perseverance and terrifying brute force.**_

"Thank you Dad and Mr. Wiz" Ruby said happily while making everyone chuckle

"Sounds like you Yang!" Whispered Blake

"Yeah it kinda does." Yang replied

**Boomstick: And Balrog embodies this style to a tee! Sluggers are great at taking lots of hits without going down, and then KO'ing their opponents with just a couple big punches. In Balrog's case, his Dashing punches let him come in swinging. His Screw Smash uppercut is so brutal, it can power through other attacks. But Balrog's strength REALLY shines with his famous Gigaton Blow, or with his incredibly deadly Turn Punch... if he's able to hit anything with it, that is. The longer he tenses his arm up for, the more powerful the move gets.**

"I don't think punching works like that!" Weiss stated

"It doesn't" replied almost half the room

_**Wiz: While all these moves are fair game in the rules of boxing, fairness is the last thing Balrog cares about.**_

Taiyang sighed "Should have known"

(*Cues: Balrog Theme - Super Street Fighter IV*)

**Boomstick: Damn! This friggin' guy is crazy! I mean, really, look at those eyes! That's the same look old grandpappy Boomstick had every time he came home with some fresh poultry dinner. Unil the damn chickens got him...**

"Sorry for your loss Mr. Boomstick" Ruby said

"How did chickens kill his grandpa?" Sky asked

Zex simply snapped his finger and showed what happened to link when he killed a chicken.

"...oh"

_**Wiz: Unfortunately, his victory was short lived, when he returned to the ring, he ended up killing his opponent. With his career ruined, Balrog returned to the life of gambling, booze, and women.**_

**Boomstick: Man, he got to kill a guy and drink all day? Talk about living the life!**

"What!" The audience yelled and looked at Zex for confirmation

"Yup" Zex simply stated not even taking his eyes off the screen

"Kick his ass Jaune!" Cardin yelled

**But B-Rog wasn't done flexing his fighting skills. He joined the crime syndicate Shadaloo, and basically punched his way up to become its founder's right hand man. And who wouldn't want someone as rough and tough as Balrog at their side?**

_**Wiz: Especially since he's so strong, he once killed an elephant with just one punch. See this one? His name's Kudal. Balrog killed his best friend.**_

"Poor elephant" Yastuyashi stated

**Boomstick: Good, freaking elephants had it coming for years. Never shut up! And someone always loses on Dhalsim's stage!**

_The elephants trumpet as a fighter is KO'd._

"Okay yeah that is annoying" Qrow stated as everyone looked him shocked "but I wouldn't kill an elephant over it"

(*Cues: Volcanic Rim Opening Version - Street Fighter IV*)

**_Wiz: Elephants commonly use their skulls to knock down trees, meaning they can withstand a force of at least 10,000 pounds. The strongest punch ever recorded comes from heavyweight champ, Frank Bruno, with a force of 1,420 pounds, a dangerous amount of strength, to be sure, but still only one seventh of Balrog's potential._**

**Boomstick: But Balrog wouldn't be a true slugger if he couldn't take a beating. He battled the sumo wrestler E. Honda, and the two fell off a cliff, and they both survived!**

_**Wiz: We know this fight takes place in Thailand, and on a cliff overlooking the river, this area is very similar to the northern Kwai Yai river, which can be more than 300 feet wide. By comparing that to the with of the river as seen here, we can estimate the cliff to be 1,272 feet high.**_

Jaws hit the floor at the ridiculous height he feel from.

"How did he even live?!" Summer yelled

**Boomstick: But while Balrog may have the raw power of a slugger, he's got all the downsides that come with it too.**

_**Wiz: A smart enough opponent could potentially predict and counter his attacks. This is how he lost to other Street Fighters like Dudley and Alex.**_

"So he only thinks with his fist?" Ruby asked innocently

"Yup it means he isn't very bright" An Ren replied

**Boomstick: Yeah, he's not the brightest shed in the tool, if you know what I mean.**

_**Wiz/Audience: Tool in the shed.**_

**Boomstick: You're a tool!**

"And you are an idiot" Winter deadpanned

**After Shadaloo's head honcho was defeated, Balrog got a promotion and ran the whole crime syndicate himself, until he ran the whole organization into the ground.**

_**Wiz: Probably a few too many blows to the head.**_

Everyone nodded in agreement to that statement.

**Boomstick: But hey, we're not here to test his management skills. Balrog been out of the ring for years, but today, he's here to show he's still got what it takes to win. At the end of the day, you've gotta respect the crazy buffalo.**

"Yeah only because he would try to kill me" Velvet said trembling

_Balrog: I can almost smell the money now, if I can pull this off, I'll be on easy street forever._

* * *

Everyone liked the fact Balrog was a boxer. They hated everything else about him though.

* * *

TJ Combo (Jaune)

"I can't wait to hear his back story in this one!" Ruby said excitedly

(*Cues: Killer Instinct - Main Theme*)

**Boomstick: Standing 6 foot 1 and weighing 220 pounds, TJ Combo is the definition of a champion.**

"Hell yeah! Our Fearless leader is a champion!" Nora yelled

_**Wiz: But he didn't start out that way. Born to a poor family on the Texas coast, Jaune-Johnson Arc was in for a rough road to fame and glory. TJ didn't have much, but he did have boxing.**_

**Boomstick: TJ's dad trained him to box, and he joined a Junior League when he was 12 years old, where he promptly lost.**

"Dang that sucks" Taiyang stated

_**Wiz: But instead of learning from his mistakes and trying again the next year, TJ replaced the padding in his glove with a roll of quarters and got his revenge with one savage blow. If he learned anything that day, it was only how good it felt to win.**_

Winter glared at the screen and looked at Weiss. She could see the look in her eyes. She liked this version of Jaune didn't she?

**Boomstick: Well, the Junior League didn't exactly agree, so they kicked him out. For the rest of his childhood, he was in and out of trouble. But unwilling to give up, TJ eventually took what little he owned to start a new life at a boxing gym in Chicago. As a janitor. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.**

(*Cues: Yo Check This Out! - Killer Instinct*)

**_Wiz: TJ's love for boxing never died. Every dollar he earned was spent on boxing lessons, every spare minute studying legends like Mike Tyson and Muhammad Ali._**

"Those guys sound cool!" Yang said intrigued

"They are!" Zex said happily

"What about Floyd Mayweather?" Nora asked confusing everyone

"He was good until he started flaunting his money around and decided to buy twenty pairs of watches. Seriously buddy if you are gonna use your money for something don't spend it on a bunch of dumb watches use it for a good cause or even save it" Zex said irritated

"Why do you hate him so much?" Ruby asked

"I don't hate him. He is an amazing boxer and earned his place just like anyone else. I just wish he used his money on other things that could help people." Zex stated

"Does he not care?" Asked Ruby

"No he does he has a foundation and everything. I just wish he would stop flaunting his money around and would actually act a little more humble." Zex said

"Isn't he humble though?" Asked Ren

"He could be a little more humble" Zex stated

**Boomstick: You could say he was really "cleaning it up" in the ring,**

Everyone groaned except Taiyang, Zex, and Yang who were laughing

**until**** he finally got a shot at the Heavyweight Championship.**

_**Wiz: Like his hero, Ali, TJ fights using an Out-Boxer style, staying outside an opponent's reach with evasive maneuvers and taking advantage of missed swings.**_

**Boomstick: And TJ's go to attack is his mighty Powerline. Wait a minute, isn't that the bandfrom "A Goofy Movie"?**

"I love that movie!" Ruby said with stars in her eyes

_**Wiz: No.**_

**Boomstick/Ruby: Aww.**

Yang patted Ruby on the back

**It's a straight punch that knocks even the toughest opponent backward. His Tremor Punch is a flying overhand attack that can hit the ground so hard, it creates a shockwave that knocks people off their feet. And he can even send them skyward with his Vortex Uppercut.**

_**Wiz: But his fighting style goes beyond mere punches, his Flying Knee is good for aggressively closing in on opponents, and his Shoot Toss sets them up for his famous combos.**_

**Boomstick: That's where he got the nickname "TJ Combo".**

_**Wiz: Is that how you got your nickname, Boomstick?**_

"Well duh why woul-"

**Boomstick: Nickname? What in the hell are you talking about?**

Weiss, Blake, Winter, and Goodwitch all had their jaws hit the floor.

"His name is actually Boomstick" Ozpin said shocked

_**Wiz: Oh, never mind. Through years of hard work and dedication, TJ eventually won the heavyweight championship.**_

(*Cues: A Warrior's Journey - Killer Instinct (2013)*)

_**At last, fame, fortune, and glory were in his hands, and then they all went to his head. TJ got lazy, blowing his prize money on parties.**_

**Boomstick: Good for him.**

_**Wiz: And ignoring his training until he lost the title.**_

"I got a bad feeling about this" Yang said

**Boomstick: Aw, shoot, man, this poor guy just can't keep it together, can he?**

**_Wiz: That's when the world dominating mega corporation Ultratech, aka evil Walmart, offered TJ an experimental surgical procedure to put him back on top._**

"Ha!" Zex laughed

**Boomstick: And TJ remembered the lesson he learned long ago: If all else fails, just cheat shamelessly.**

"That is not a good lesson to remember" Ironwood said smugly while looking down at Weiss for some odd reason

_**Wiz: Ultratech fused titanium implants into TJ's arms, drastically increasing his striking power. Within six months, TJ won his title back, and held it for twenty years, but Ultratech wanted a favor in return.**_

**Boomstick: They waited twenty whole years to cash in the favor? Nobody's that patient.**

"That is quite a long time" Ruby stated

_**Wiz: Ultratech had a new product, a robot warrior they wanted to showcase in a battle against the boxing champ. They left TJ with one word of instruction: Lose.**_

"Buuuuuut" Taiyang said knowing where it is going

**Boomstick: But TJ smashed it to pieces in front of a live audience, because screw perfectly legal, long-term business contracts.**

Weiss sighed. It does sound like something Arc would do if he did have TJ's personality. She knows that there is still good in him.

_**Wiz: In response, Ultratech exposed TJ for the cheater he was, and thus, he was banned from boxing, again! But this time, TJ refused to go out in disgrace.**_

"Oh please what could he have possibly done to redeem himself" Winter said with a roll of her eyes.

**Boomstick: So he ripped the metal right out of his arms with his bare hands. **

**They watched as Jaune began to tear into his arms to get rid of the implants on live television. **

"What!" Screamed Weiss in shock

**Like**** a badass!**

(*Cues: The Instinct - Killer Instinct (2013)*)

_**Wiz: Or a complete idiot. But by some extreme luck, Ultratech experimentation left him with a minor healing factor, which ensured his arms weren't ruined forever. What's more, he also learned he could enter a berserker mode, which enables him to move and punch faster when in desperate situations.**_

**Boomstick: Well, robo arms or not, TJ is one impressive fighter, his punches can launch heavy enemies like Fulgore over thirteen feet into the air, and holding the championship for twenty years is way longer than the world record.**

"That robot feat has to have those robotic arms" Ironwood said reminding everyone about it

"Nope" Zex replied shocking Ironwood

"What?!" He Yelled

"TJ is proving to us that his skill is all natural. Sometimes it takes a big loss such as losing his boxing career to finally get the correct lesson. TJ isn't a bad guy he juat learned the wrong stuff growing up!" Zex said chipperly

(*Cues: I'm Back (to Rise) - Killer Instinct (2013)*)

_**Wiz: Currently, the longest held heavyweight title belongs to Joe Louis, who's reign lasted eleven years, eight months, and eight days. TJ defended his title for nearly twice that length.**_

"That is impressive" Taiyang said

**Boomstick: Plus, TJ's got plenty of experience outside the ring, without implants, he's defeated the secret agent, Orchid, the upgraded warbot Fulgore mark II, and killed multiple Ultratech super dinosaurs! That's right, this is a boxer who kills frickin' velociraptors on the regular.**

_**Wiz: And he's obviously very resilient to pain, like when he survived jumping out of an Ultratech skyscraper, based on the amount of time it takes other unfortunate visitors to fall from the top floor, this building must be 1,162 feet tall.**_

"He did What?!" Yelled Weiss worried

**Boomstick: But we all know this boxing champ never had a perfect record, he lost fights to Glacius, the ice alien, and twice was outmatched by squads of Ultratech super soldiers.**

_**Wiz: Also, while TJ's Out-Boxer style is quick and resilient, it can be overwhelmed by an aggressive enough opponent, if he gets overconfident, he's sure to lose an important fight sooner rather than later.**_

"That is very true" Summer said

**Boomstick: But since being outed, he's determined to prove his skill is all natural. It's gonna take a lot to bring down a champion like TJ Combo.**

_TJ: And don't think for a moment that I'll let anything get in my way, cause if you give me that moment, I'll win!_

* * *

"So what do y'all think?" Asked Zex

"I say Balrog will win he is far stronger than Arc" said Coco

"So do i" said Ruby and most of the Audience

"Jaune" Taiyang, Yang, Ozpin, and Weiss said

"Alrighty then!"

Balrog-Teams CFVY, CRDL, NPR, SSSN, Goodwitch, Ironwood, Qrow, Winter, Blake, Ruby, and Summer

TJ Combo (Jaune)-Taiyang, Yang, Zex, Ozpin, and Weiss

"Wait what? You are on Arc's side?" Winter asked

"Yup!" Zex said

* * *

Death Battle

**_Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen; Introducing our first fighter: He's big, he's crude and all raw hide-_**

(*Cues: STREET FIGHTER V : Ed Theme*)

**Balrog comes in as his two lackeys beside him surround him.**

**_Announcer: He's Balroooooog! Now for his challenger, a heavyweight champion with a shady history who's here to prove he can beat the best of the best, even without awesome metal arms!_**

(*Cues: I'm Back (To Rise)- Killer Instinct*)

**TJ Combo comes in as he shadow boxes one of his lackeys.**

_**Announcer: He's TJ Comboooo!**_

**Both TJ and Balrog step into the ring and meet each other.**

**_TJ Combo: Man, think you got what it takes to beat the champ?_**

**TJ and Balrog punch their hands to each other.**

**_Balrog: (laughs) You won't even make it to Round 2, wimp!_**

**TJ and Balrog walk back to their corners. Balrog stands in his fighting pose, punches in the air and yells. TJ Combo punches in the air and stands in fighting pose.**

_**Announcer/Zex: Here we go! Aaannnd...****FIGHT!**_

"Take him down Jaune!" Weiss yelled

**Balrog approach each other. Balrog tries to punch TJ with his right hook but he ducks under the punch, Balrog uses his left hook and succesfully hits TJ three times, before Combo manages to dodge.**

**_Announcer: And Balrog starts strong and ferocious! Better stay out of his way, TJ!_**

**Balrog continues punching, but TJ dodges, and goes in for two more punches, but the Crazy Buffalo blocks them both. This pattern continues until suddenly, when TJ goes in for a left and starts to punch Balrog's shoulder, he blocks and starts to land several hard forceful blows before knocking TJ out of his range, as Combo stumbles back up.**

**_Announcer: TJ's quick, but Balrog is clearly overwhelming him!_**

"Take him down Balrog! End it quickly!" Cardin yelled

**Balrog throws a dashing punch once TJ has gotten up, trapping him into a corner.**

**_Announcer: JUST LIKE THAT, BALROG PUTS COMBO IN A CORNER! AND HERE HE COMES FOR THE FOLLOW UP! TJ IS NOT IN A GOOD SPOT!_**

**Balrog dashes over to the corner and starts beating TJ to a pulp rapidly, but as he charges a strong blow, Combo rolls out of the corner. Balrog, surprised, turns around to see TJ running to him before punching him into the corner.**

**_Announcer: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! Did TJ just turn this around?_**

**TJ starts punching Balrog in his head, legs and then chest. Balrog releases his deadly Screw Smash uppercut, to which TJ dodges, making the Crazy Buffalo's fist hit the ground. Combo, seeing his chance, then jumps into the air, and punches Balrog hard, making him collapse to the ground.**

**_Announcer: INCREDIBLE! OUT OF NOWHERE, BALROG'S THE FIRST TO FALL!_**

**Balrog gets up off the ground.**

Weiss smiled at that

**_Balrog: *heavy breathing/growling* Annoying bastard... I'll break you like a rag doll_**

**The two fighters get in fighting stances and walk to the center, ready to engage again, but the bell rings and the referee holds his arms out, stopping them in their tracks.**

**_Announcer: That's the bell, ending Round 1! Folks, it looks like Balrog clearly had the range in this fight, but I'd say TJ proved he can give as good as he gets!_**

**The two sit in opposing corners of the ring, taking a breather.**

**_Announcer: Moving into Round 2! I think this is too close to call!_**

**The bell rings and the ref gives them the sign to begin fighting.**

**_TJ Combo: Whatchu got, huh? Huh? HUH?_**

**TJ goes in for a few punches, Balrog blocking. The Crazy Buffalo goes in for a few himself, but they go over Combo. TJ then goes to his opposite side, landing a few blows on him. Balrog goes in for a left hook, but TJ dodges before punching him in the chest.**

**They both go in for a hook, but TJ's lands into Balrog's chest first, cancelling his attack. Balrog continues attempting to go in for punches, but TJ simply dodges them and cancels with his own quick attacks. TJ dashes out before going back in, but Balrog uses his gloves to grab him by the shoulder, headbutts him, steps on his foot, and punches him to the ground. The crowd boos this dirty attack.**

**_Announcer: Whoa! A dirty move from Balrog._**

"Hey thats not fair!" Weiss Yelled

"Its a Death Battle sorry no rules here!" Ironwood stated

**The crowd begins to boo as the referee tries to step in,**

"Wait for it" said Sun

**only for Balrog to beat him down.**

"ouch" Qrow winced

**_Announcer: Woah! That's not appropriate!_**

**Balrog rips off his coat and tosses it outside of the ring as TJ regains his footing.**

**_Balrog: Come on, tiny. Just you and me!_**

**TJ rubs the pavement off his nose.**

**_TJ Combo: Bring it on, asshole!_**

"Swear!" Ruby and Summer yelled pointing at the screem

**Balrog attempts a Dash Straight forward while TJ tumbles and grabs Balrog, slams him into the ground with a Shoot Toss, and knocks him down from the air using a Tremor punch. He tries punching again, but Balrog uses a focus attack to counter it and juggles TJ into an aerial combo with the Crazy Buffalo technique. He attempts to finish Combo off with a KKB, but the boxer uses the infamous...**

**_KI Announcer/Zex: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!_**

**...and knocks Balrog backward.**

"How?! He is heavier than him?!" Winter screamed

'Oh she is gonna hate the results!' Zex thought

**_Announcer: They won't stop! How long can this go!?_**

**TJ launches a Superman punch forward and lands a couple of blows. Balrog tries landing heavy hits, but TJ keeps his distance and evades the attacks to land his own. Both prepare to land a heavy punch, but Balrog gets the upper hand by sweeping TJ off of his feet and landing a Buffalo Uppercut. He tries stomping on TJ, but Combo avoids it and gets up.**

**The two boxers counter and clash with their gloves, causing the ring to start crumbling apart from their sheer power. They then use their most powerful dash attacks, but Balrog fakes TJ out to avoid his punch. Taking advantage of his vulnerability, Balrog lands some blows before unleashing his Gigaton Blow.**

**_Balrog: You won't hear the full ten count! Why don't you go to hell!?_**

"No swearing!" Ruby and Summer yelled again

**The cameras flash as TJ falls to the ground.**

**_Announcer: I-I can't believe it! Combo's down! This could be over!_**

"No Jaune!" Weiss yelled as it finally dawned on Winter

'She is in love with this Jaune' Winter thought

'Yup and well Jaune doesn't care about status! Plus knowing him he would punch Jacques in the face!' Zex replied telepathically

'WHATTHEFUCK!' Winter panicked

**Balrog slowly approaches his opponent ready to end the fight, but TJ gets on his knees and angrily pounds the ground.**

**_TJ Combo: I ain't done!_**

**TJ gets up and enters his Instinct Mode, Glory Days, confusing his opponent.**

**_Balrog: Wait, what?_**

**Balrog tries throwing another KKB with TJ easily avoiding it.**

**_Announcer: TJ's back up with his Last Breath!_**

"Get him!" Weiss yelled

**TJ's intense speed starts overwhelming his opponent. When Balrog tries throwing a punch forward, TJ dodges it and punches Balrog's arm so hard it snaps in two. The Street Fighter starts limping backwards in pain, but TJ doesn't let him walk it off as he delivers a brutal beatdown to the Shadaloo boxer. TJ ends the match with a fully charged Vortex Punch, which decapitates Balrog and sends his head flying into the air.**

"Oh Oum!" Winter yelled as several people threw up

**_Announcer: Holy Jumping Giblets! TJ Combo takes the title in an absolutely brutal fashion!_**

**TJ walks away victorious as Balrog's limp body falls to the ground. The cameraman tilts his view upwards only to have Balrog's disembodied head fall right on top of the lens and crack the screen.**

**_Announcer: Excuse me. I gotta hurl._**

**KO!**

* * *

Results

"How did he win?!" Ironwood Yelled

(*Cues: Yo Check This Out - Killer Instinct again*)

**Boomstick: Whoa-ho! It's just like Rock 'em-Sock'em Robots! Only, I don't think his head's getting reattached...**

_**Wiz: This was an extremely close bout, **_

"How?!"

_**in fact, both fighters were evenly matched in a lot of unexpected ways.**_

"What?!" They screamed as the winners were trying not to laugh with Zex secretly plotting something

**Boomstick: Being a slugger, Balrog was obviously used to having the strength advantage, but TJ actually had him matched.**

_**Wiz: Recall how Balrog killed an elephant, who's skull could withstand 10,000 pounds of force, or 44,482 newtons. In comparison, TJ's Vortex Punch is capable of hitting opponents at a minimum of 13.4 feet into the air, even if they weigh as much as 550 pounds, like Fulgore. To launch something that heavy with just a punch, would require 44,820 newtons of force.**_

"The math doesn't lie...damn it" Goodwitch said

(*Cues: The End - Killer Instinct (2013)*)

**Boomstick: Dang, that's close, and that's not even TJ's strongest punch. Even their ability to take hits were pretty similar, like Balrog falling off the cliff, or TJ jumping out of the Ultratech skyscraper, both of which were at similar heights.**

"but how did he win?" Summer asked making Taiyang chucle

_**Wiz: Luckily for TJ, analyzing real life boxing trends revealed his inherent advantage over Balrog, the popular triangle theory of boxing, also called the "Rock-Paper-Scissors" theory, claims that sluggers, such as Balrog, naturally struggle against Out-Boxers like TJ.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, slugger punches are really strong, but they're predictable, and require more energy, so a good Out-Boxer could just keep his distance, capitalizing on mistakes, and then wear the slugger down over time until the opportune chance for a knockout blow.**

_**Wiz: Obviously, it's called a theory for a reason, every boxer is different, however, when applied at a very fundamental level, the triangle theory holds weight.**_

"Yup that's how he won" Yang said with a nod

**Boomstick: Like when Ali took the title from slugger George Foreman in the famous "Rumble in the Jungle" by using those Out-Boxer tactics.**

**_Wiz: And don't forget, TJ kept a heavyweight title for over twenty years, despite how closely matched their power and durability were, TJ's speed, tactics, and experience won the match by permanent knockout._**

**Boomstick: You could say TJ had the instinct for this fight, and it was a killer.**

Everyone groaned except Yang, Taiyang, and Zex who held up cards rating the pun.

_**Wiz: The winner is TJ Combo.**_

_TJ Combo: Yeah!_

* * *

"Alright I'm assuming y'all are going back to sleep?" Zex Asked

"Yup good night" Neptune said as he went straight to bed as did everyone else.

"Weiss can i talk to you real quick?" questioned Zex

"Um...sure" Weiss said as they walked out of the room

They walked towards a certain door where she could hear someone breathing. She gulped in fear.

"In here is a early christmas gift!" Zex said with a smile

"Really?" Weiss asked surprised

"Yup! Have fun!" Zex said as he walked away

Weiss opened the door and saw something unexpected. Jaune was sitting down on a chair drinking a water bottle. She could see he was in white shorts with no shoes, shirt, or socks on. His eight pack abs could grind meat perfectly and his cheat could make even diamonds look weak in comparison. His body looked like it was chiseled out of marble.

Jaune noticed Weiss staring and wondered why. He knows Weiss wouldn't juat show up here without a good reason. All the lessons kicked in and well Weiss instantly fell in love even more.

"Weiss if I would have known you were coming I would be in better clothes. Did you need something?" Jaune asked politely shocking Weiss into saying somethimg she knew was risky

"Jaune you know how we've been watching worlds of you right?" She Asked

"Yes I do why do you bring them up?" He asked back

"H-How would you feel if I make one of your dreams come true" she said gaining confindence out of no where

'Get some of that Arc sword girl!" Zex said telepathy

'wait this is completely improper!' She telled as she walked her way to Jaune with a sway in her hips

'If Jaune is anything like the rest of us dense as he'll idiots them he will instantly get flustered'

And Zex didn't lie, she could see the heat rising in his face as she straddled him. Jaune's "partner" decided to make itself know and she was utterly floored. HE WAS BIGGER THEN SHE THOUGHT!

"Oh my Jaune! Excited to see me huh? Well then" she said as she pushed him down onto his back "I think this lady in waiting has finally given the knight his due"

"W-Weiss are you sure about this? Because we d-don't have to if you don't w-want to!" Jaune said quickly trying to make sure his instincts didn't take control

"Jaune I think it's time to stop asking questions" she got close to his face "and start having some 'fun' with eachother my handsome blonde knight"

Jaune didn't need to be told a second time when she kissed him. She practically was begging for him if the grinding wasn't any indicator. Jaune sat up, she wrapped her arms and legs around him, and stood up showing an impressive amount of strength. Until she felt a nice comfy bed beneath her.

"Can't let a lady be on the cold hard floor now can we?" Jaune asked

"No we can't" Weiss said as shd took off her clothes and layed before Jaune "and let's skip the foreplay amd get to the main course"

Weiss thought she knew ita size but boy was she in for a surprise!

'Its huge!' She thought once she saw it

Jaune was nearly twelve imchea of man and boy was he thick. Probably the size of her forearm. She instantly grew nervous.

"Please be gentle" she said scared

"I will" he replied amd slowly entered her. She dug her nails I to her back in pain as tears fell from her eyes. Jaune waited until she gave him a nod to move and he listened. He started out slow and as pain turned into pleasure she began to beg him to go faster and harder. Jaune didn't dare to disobey as he gave her more and more.

"Jaune! Jaune! Jaune! Jaune! Fuck me Jaune!" She said

"Weiss" he said as he began to pound her

Her eyea rolled into the back kf her head and her tounge hanged out. She was in utter bliss. Nothing would ever change that. She was now Jaune's and he was hers! She was glad she got this before Ruby, Pryhha, Yang, and Velvet because she knows they will absolutely love this. She is fine sharing him but right now he is here!

"FUCK ME! IM YOUR GIRL NOW! FUCK ME JAUNE!" Yeah at this loint she didn't care who heard her she was loving it!

* * *

Everyone in the amphitheatre heard Weiss screamjng and oh boy the reactions. Taiyang and Summer were covering Ruby's ears. Ruby, Pryhha, Velvet, and Yang were fuming. Nora and Ten were blushing up a storm as was Sun and Blake. Winter was pissed at what she heard. Qrow and CRDL were laughing and cheering on Jaune. Goodwitch, Ironwood, SSN, and Ozpin had their jaws on the floor.

"Im gonna kill him!" Winter and Neptune yelled

* * *

Weiss was now in a doggy position as Jaune kept going. She wanted it all!

"I'm gonna!" Jaune said

"In me Jaune! In me!" She yelled as she was suddenly flipped back to missionary as he just pounded into her.

"Weiss!"

"Jaune!"

They both came and instantly relaxed. They never felt that good before and as Weiss was falling to sleep cuddled up to Jaune she heard Zex say in her mind

_Don't worry about getting preggo! I got you covered_

* * *

**Yup I'm doing those types of stories too now! So if you got a good one send it in. I'm not gonna do them very often just a heads up but hey fuck it right! Yes, I know she doesn't think like this but she slowly fell in luve with Jaune over time and TJ Combo's determined mind was the nail in the coffin for her! **


	12. Deadpool's next challenger!

**Alrighty I hope y'all had have an awesome day! Now let's sing a song shall we!**

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the theatre waiting for Zex to return. Winter was grilling Weiss on what she did.

"How could you go and have sex! Be glad Zex can make sure you don't get pregnant!" She yelled

"But he felt so amazing! He was gentle and only did it if I wanted it! Guys," she looked at Ruby, Yang, Velevt, and Pyrhha "You will love it!"

"I'm pretty sure cat girl's boyfriend feels inadequate" Yang jokes

"We're not dating" record scratch

"What?" They all said

"Guys I already have a girlfriend!" Sun stated

"But you blushing!?" Velvet asked

"That was me being embarrassed by the fact she cuddled up to me. I was just probably the closest" he explained

"Yup, that is what happened" Blake stated

"Hey Guys!" Said a voice as they all turned and saw Zex

"Where have you been?" Asked Taiyang

"Calm down Blondie" "Excuse me?!" "But I was talking to somebody and I can't wait for him to join us!" He said excitedly

"Well then I can't wait to meet him" said Summer

"Alright then who is ready to sing a song!" Yelled Zex

Everyone groaned thinking it was a musical until they looked at the screen.

**There were police officers surrounding one man who was in a French costume with a green mask?**

**"What are you doing?" Asked Qrow**

**"You told me to freeze" he said with a clenched jaw and everyone saw he was frozen solid**

**"Alright alright unfreeze" as Qrow said that they saw him thaw out and hot the ground with a thud and grabbed by two other police officers.**

"Why does Jaune look like that?" Asked Ruby

"I don't know sis but something doesn't feel right" said Yang

**They watched as Jaune was searched his pockets.**

**"Lets see, a hammer, an alarm, a scarf, and a picture of your wife Winter" said the officer as he pulled out all the items**

**"You Son of a-" Qrow didn't get to finish as he and his partner Taiyang were pulled close together and slapped multiple time **

"Ex-FUCKING-cuse me?!" Yelled Winter in anger and glared at Qrow. Now Qrow was many things but willing to die was not one of them

"Why the hell would I cheat?! And why did you let yourself get angry at it?!" Asked a very angry winter shocking Weiss and Ironwood.

"What!" They both screamed

Winter realized what she did and began to blush in embarrassment. She didn't get a chance to apologize though as Qrow brought her in for a hug.

"I probably got angry at the fact he had a picture of you. Why would I assume that you cheated?" Asked Qrow

"I don't know" sighed Winter

"What is happening?" Asked Taiyang

"Apparently we had a secret couple this entire time" chuckled Ozpin

"We'll explain later" said Qrow

**"I think you two make such a lovely couple" Jaune said while making a weird sound and running away**

**"Get him! What the?!" Said Qrow as both he and Taiyang saw that the cuffs that were on Jaune were somehow on them**

Summer gasped dramatically "Taiyang how could you" she said in mock hurt

"Well excuse me if he is so hot! said Qrow

"Qrow meet me in my room in five!" Taiyang laughed and was joined by Summer and Qrow

As they laughed the youngins, Ruby and Yang, we're disgusted by what their parents said.

"Ew Uncle Qrow! Dad!" Said Ruby

"That is so gross" said Yang about to Vomit

**They saw Jaune running, looking like sonic the hedgehog, to the gate and when he finally got there he closed it and started locking it up Looney Tunes style. As He finally put the final lock on it he turned around only to see all of the cities police force cocking and pointing their guns at him.**

**He screamed as They saw he eyes and tongue bulge out like in the cartoons and return to his head.**

**"We have You surrounded. Put your hands up!" Said a police on s speaker as the camera zoomed into Jaune's face**

"What is Arc gonna do to get out of this situation?" Asked Weiss and looked at Zex only to see him in a Mariachi costume.

"Wait and see Senorita!" Yelled Zex

**"Hit it!" Said Jaune as the lights came on him and made everyone's Jaw drop. He somehow, like Zex, changed his out look to match a Spanish them...but how? They all watched as Jaune began to dance with music playing in the background. He pulled out Maracas and began to sing.**

_**They call me Cuban Pete**_  
_**I'm the king of the Rumba beat**_  
_**When I play the Maracas I go**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_

**As he said that some of the officers, and audience, moved to the beat of the music**

"He can sing" said Goodwitch shocked

_**Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete**_

_**I'm the craze, of my native street**_  
_**When I start to dance, everything goes**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_

**Jaune threw away the Maracas hitting a trash can and scaring a nearby cat as he walked towards Dew and Nebula**

_**The senorita's they sing**_

_**And then they swing with their rumbero.**_  
_**It's very nice!**_

_**So full of spice**_

**As Jaune said that he spun around on a light pole and kicked out his feet. **

_**And when they dance and they bring a happy ring**_  
_**They're a care-o, singing a song...**_  
_**All the day long!**_

**Jaune shaked his rear towards them and ran up a wooden plank and was launched towards a light pole. As he continued singing he ended up in front of Officer Goodwitch.**

_**So if you like the beat**_  
_**Take a lesson from Cuban Pete**_  
_**And I'll teach you to**_

_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_

**As Jaune finished the verse he waved his hands in front of Officer Goodwitch.**

"Okay what is that supposed to do?" Asked Blake. Don't get her wrong the music was very fun but she didn't understand what his hands we're supposed to d-

_**He's really a modest guy, although he's the hottest guy**_

_**In Havana, in Havana**_

**_Officer Goodwitch began to dance feeling liberated._**

Everyone in the Audience was left shocked...Professor Glynda Goodwitch could sing!

"You can sing?!" Asked Weiss

"Well yes I'm just very shy about it" blushed Goodwitch

"You should sing more often Glynda. Don't hide your gift." Said Ozpin with a smile

_**Si, senorita I know**_  
_**That you would like a Chic-ky-boom-chick**_

**Jaune grabbed Goodwitch and danced with her throwing away the gun in the process**

_**It's very nice - so full of spice**_

**They saw officers dancing as Taiyang and Qrow finally got through the gate.**

_**I'll place my hand on your hip**_  
_**And if you will just give me your hand**_

**Jaune had Goodwitch hanging on him as she slapped him twice. Then he twirled her and gave her to the officers below**

_**Then we shall try**_  
_**Just you and I**_  
_**"Iy-yi-yi!"**_

Everyone in the room was dancing and having a good time.

**_"Olé!" _**

**They caught Goodwitch as Jaune jumped onto the hood of a car.**

_**So if you like the beat**_  
_**Take a lesson from Cuban Pete**_  
_**And I'll teach you to**_

_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_  
_**Chick chicky boom**_

**Jaune started a conga line as Qrow finally had enough this. As Jaune started dancing and saying random words Qrow took a shotgun and fired into the air.**

_**"Shake your booty, daddy, wow! See ya'!"**_

**Jaune slid off screen. The screen shut off.**

"Opinions?" Asked Zex

"That was hilarious and fun!" Yang said laughing

"Yeah! Too bad we don't get to see Jaune's reaction" Ruby pouted as Zex grinned

"Welp that was one of the two people you will see tomorrow!" Zex said

"Wait didn't...NO!" Goodwitch asked

"Yup! Tomorrow Deadpool is coming back and his opponent! The Mask!" Zex cackled evily

Qrow, Winter, Ironwood, and Goodwitch cried out in despair!

"But Deadpool cant die!" Qrow said with anime tears

"Maybe but you'll get a good explanation tomorrow!" Zex said

"Also Ruby please follow me" he said walking away as Weiss whispered in her ear

"Have fun Ruby he has a lot of stamina" Ruby blushed at that as she caught up to Zex

Ruby saw doors and the sound, of what she could assume, training. She gulped as Zex pushed her in and closed the doors. What she saw didn't disappoint. She saw Jaune practicing with something she never expected to see. He had a .50 calibur and fired it like a pro! Ruby could practically feel herself getting wetter. She just hoped her Uncle and Dad didn't figure it out.

* * *

Qrow, Taiyang, and Summer were suspended in the air as they were cussing out Zex. Yang was beneath his foot as she struggled, and failed, to get out from underneath.

"She must remain innocent!" Taiyang yelled

"Nope! She is basically a six year old who doesn't even know about the birds and the bees. Sorry bub but I'm watching out for them both." Zex stated annoyed

"I don't want my baby to grow up yet!" Summer cried

"Too late"

"Nooooooo!" She yelled

"Dude... Not cool" Neptune stated as he all of a sudden was flinged into a wall

"Shut it fuck boy"

* * *

Ruby was in complete bliss. Weiss was right this was amazing! She and Jaune started the moment he saw her. In other words she tackled him and basically demanded him to fuck her. He didn't disappoint as she was no riding him like no tomorrow. She felt his hands place themselves on her hips when she suddenly started bouncing. She looked down at Jaune and loved the look in his eyes.

"Hold on Ruby!" He yelled and made her stop

"Wha-eep!" She exclaimed as he picked her up while holding her legs. He started to thrust into her while standing and she loved it! He let her put one leg down as now she was hanging on for dear life!

"Jaune! Jaune! Jaune! Jaune!" She said

He kissed her and picked her up and pinned her to the wall. She LOVED this feeling.

"Ruby I'm-" "Inside Jaune! inside!" He picked up the paste "FUCK ME JAUNE! FUCK ME!"

He came inside and her eyes rolled into her head and tounge hanged out.

He set her down and walked into the bathroom and she smiled.

"I gotta do that more often!" Ruby said

* * *

Zex was standing there taking punches Taiyang and Yang were trying to knock him out.

"Okay guys your hands are broken. Stop trying to knock me out its bot gonna work." Zex states as Ruby walked in satisfied and talked to Weiss as Blake, Velvet, and Pyrhha walked out of the room.

"Not until you take your punishment like a man!" Taiyang said while Summer and Qrow scolded Ruby

"I am literally far more powerful than you idiot" Ruby told them her experience in the background as everyone else listened "Even if I didn't have powers of a 'God' I still would be able to read your attacks because y'all are way to telegraphed."

Summer was crying tears of joy while Qrow looked like a proud uncle

"How are we too telegraphed!" Yelled out Yang

"Y'all swing out way to wide and you cock back your punch like a karate practitioner. You need to use a mirror or spar with other people in order to DEAR SWEET MERCIFUL GOD WOULD YOU STOP CELEBRATING OVER HER GETTING LAID!" Zex yelled in anger as they had somehow made an entire party behind his back.

"Whoop whoop whoop whoop!" Pinkie Pie yelled as she ran away

"Wait where did Blake, Pyrhha, and Velevt go?" Yang asked

* * *

Moaning could be heard behind the door. Yeah a foursome was happening and as the narrator I'm not describing that shit!

* * *

"Trust me you don't wanna know...well see ya!" Zex popped out of existance

"I hate that guy" Neptune said as an anvil hit his head

* * *

**Yeah I'm not diving into any more of that stuff this chapter! But i hope y'all liked the final reveal on what is coming!**


	13. Deadpool's final hoorah!

**Finally getting to a request! This took way to long and I'll be doing another one after this! It's my Favorite one! **

**Hey shouldn't this be your favorite?**

**Nope I like the next one a bit more!**

**...ouch dick**

* * *

Everyone was still talking about the Death Battle not knowing what was about to happen.

"Hey everyone! Zex screamed

"Welcome back Zex where did you go anyway?" Ozpin asked

"Well I do have other things to do after all." deadpanned Zex

"I'm still pissed about what you allowed to happen to Ruby" Yang with bandages on her hands while Zex had a smirk

"And you three!" Taiyang pointed at Pyrhha, Blake, and Velvet "Why did you all go together!?"

**Deadpool: Because they wanted that Arc sword baby!**

Qrow, Goodwitch, Ironwood, and Weiss started yelling profanities at his return as the screen turned on.

_The RoosterTeeth logo is shown, then abruptly paused._

**Boomstick: You sure this is gonna work? This'll shut him up for good?**

_**Wiz: Trust me, it's the perfect plan.**_

**Boomstick: Okay then, let's get started.**

"Wait what plan!?" Yelled Summer

_The RoosterTeeth logo is resumed._

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

_**Wiz: To most of us, the laws of reality are unbending rules we never question.**_

**Boomstick: Even for us. But for some people, they are more like... guidelines.**

_**Wiz: Such as Deadpool, Marvel's merc with a micropenis.**_

**Boomstick: And The Mask, a total chad who just oozes big dick energy.**

Everyone laughed at the jabs at Deadpool.

(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick looking off in anticipation.)

_**Wiz: Huh... Could've sworn that would get his attention.**_

**Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win-**_

(Deadpool's animated avatar pops on the screen.)

**_Deadpool: My third Death Battle! HA! Wait, what was that about a micropenis?_**

They all lost it at that moment.

* * *

Deadpool

"I wonder what they will say?" Ruby wondered

_**Wiz: Every famous superhero has a special something that makes them recognizable. Some are gothic knights of darkness, a showcase of order versus chaos. Some are instantly relatable, a prime example of an average person in a not-so-average world.**_

**Boomstick: And some are shoved in your face over and over and OVER AGAIN until you just can't take it anymore!**

_(An animated avatar of Deadpool appears on-screen.)_

**_Deadpool: Aw, shucks! Are you talking about me? You're such a sweet talker!_**

**Boomstick/Winter: GO AWAY.**

**_Deadpool: We've been through this, but why stop a good thing? Hi, I'm Wade Wilson, masterful mercenary and twice robbed of winning People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" award. Way back, I got stuck in a seriously shitty situation called Cancer, the worst supervillain, but then the good folks of Department K offered me a cure! Sounded great, until I learned the big plot twist._**

_**Wiz: Department K was actually a sect of the Weapon X program, a top-secret project for crafting super-soldiers by any means necessary.**_

**Boomstick: They shot Jaune up with fifty CCs of hot, creamy Wolverine juice. It gave him the same crazy healing factor, but also turned his face into an improv comedy prop.**

**_Weasel: You look like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado._**

"No shit Sherlock" Ironwood aaid

**_Jaune: Yeah..._**

_**Wiz: After escaping in gruesome fashion, Jaune resumed his life as a mercenary, taking the name, Deadpool.**_

**Boomstick: He's got your standard superhuman buffs. Super strength, super speed, super toughness, the works, but he put that super swagger to use as an expert martial artist. Though it's hard to tell sometimes, 'cause he lets himself get hit a lot.**

**_Deadpool: Hey, when you have a healing factor that would make even Logan's nuclear-charred adamantium skeleton blush, you let yourself nosh on a lead sandwich every once in a while. I've survived gunshot wounds, impalement, organ destruction, soupifacation, and even freaking disintegration. Good luck trying to take me out!_**

"We know dumbass!" Winter yelled frustrated

_"Oh she is gonna be so happy at the end!" _Zex thought

_**Wiz/Blake: Don't take all the credit for yourself. You know you were cursed with everlasting life by Thanos during some of that.**_

**_Deadpool: Yeah, well, me and Space Grimace have a really deep relationship... 'bout as deep as I am in his girlfriend, hey-yo!_**

**Boomstick: Good thing Thanos removed the curse so we could violently murder you.**

_**Wiz: An impulse I deeply empathize with.**_

_**Deadpool: Well, as much as I liked getting resurrected after that, I like doing the opposite to other people even more. As in killing them. With weapons, especially my lovely Golden Girls, Bea and Arthur.**_

"Who?" Ruby asked dangerously scaring all the men in the room

_**Deadpool: Calm down baby I'm not gonna cheat on ya *winks***_

**Boomstick: That would be his katanas, which are almost unbreakable thanks to an energy field from his suit. Fully charged, they can even cut The Hulk.**

_**Wiz: Even then, Deadpool is a walking arsenal, with enough machine guns, sniper rifles, grenades, rocket launchers, tranquilizers, etc, to take out a small country.**_

**_Deadpool: And if I'm feeling cute, I might delete you later with any one of the wacky weapons of mass destruction I picked up on my misadventures. Like, a gun that wipes you from history, the actual Venom symbiote, and the seventh infinity stone, the Continuity Gem. It rewrites canon itself, and could even make Wiz and Boomstick bearable co-hosts... I mean, maybe._**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**Boomstick: Oh yeah? Well, let's go over some of these feats of yours. Take it away, Wiz.**

_**Wiz: With pleasure.**_

"Oh great what else can he d-"

_**Deadpool has showcased his impressive super strength when at one point he stood up straight without aid based on Deadpool's canon weight and examining the distribution of mass here. We can deduce his legs can support 210 pounds or just under a hundred kilograms.**_

_**Deadpool: Wait, what?**_

Everyone tried not to laugh.

**Boomstick: Oh or how 'bout the time he held up this pistol. That's a Desert Eagle mark-19, which weighs 72 whole ounces. Amazing.**

**_Deadpool: Guys, what the hell? You know I can kick people through concrete walls and yank around a six-ton helicopter, right?_**

Faces were turning red while trying not to laugh.

_**Wiz: Here we can see him running much like typical human beings run and the average male running speed is about 9.4 kilometers per hour.**_

**_Deadpool: Hey, hey, hey! I was outrunning a goddamn airplane, do you know how fast airplanes are? Jesus H. Christ almighty, do some research for once, you frauds!_**

And like that they laughed at Deadpool's anger.

_**Deadpool: Oh come on! It's not funny!**_

_**Wiz: Jokes aside, Deadpool can move faster than the eye can track. He's caught Captain America's Shield, which Cap can throw fast enough to slice through tanks. He's even dodged the electric powered mutant Surge's lightning blasts. If these are anything like the leaders of real lightning, they could be moving over 98,000 meters per second.**_

**Boomstick: Deadpool's a tough son of a b*tch, too. He survived a sunburn from a freaking space laser, getting crushed under the Chrysler building and an explosion that cratered an entire city block. Just look at the size of that.**

_**Wiz: Measuring the crater's volume and applying statistics for pulverization of rock, the explosion must've equaled about 130 tons of TNT.**_

"What?" Ruby Asked

**Boomstick/Zex: That's like getting hit in the face with 22 monster trucks driving at top speed. All at the same time.**

"Thank you!" Ruby said

"Your welcome" Zex replied

_**Wiz: But Deadpool isn't perfect, far from it, obviously. Unlike Wolverine, his chemically induced healing factor isn't a natural evolution, and so it seriously damaged his brain, which explains a lot.**_

**Boomstick: This guy isn't just annoying as balls. He's legit insane. Talk about a terrible combination.**

_**Wiz: Well, Deadpool's insanity leads him to talk to seemingly invisible people, namely the writers and editors of each comic book he's in.**_

**Boomstick; I mean, is it really insanity if it's true? That's even how he got rid of the Continuity Gem, by literally handing it over to the editors.**

**_Wiz: While his broken mind and daredevil attitude makes him incredibly unpredictable, it can often put him in over his head. Plus, while his healing factor is quite potent, it's not an instant quick fix._**

**Boomstick: That's why he prefers to reattach his limbs, rather than wait for them to regrow.**

_Popup: The fastest time Deadpool took to regrow his head was thirteen minutes. Simply reattaching limbs takes a matter of seconds, unless a lot of his body needs to be regrown._

_Blind Al: Am I crazy, or it's your hand really small?_

_**Wiz/Weiss: That's... not pleasant.**_

**Boomstick: His biggest weakness though is that he's a dumb internet meme and he should feel bad about it**.

_**Wiz: And using this mathematical formula, taking account of Deadpool's abundance and media, we can quantify exactly how dumb he is**_.

(memes + gringe + lmao + Ryan Reynolds + Deathstroke rip-off ÷ Unicorn fetish ÷ oversaturation x chimichangas x Rod Liefeld x Takahata101 x actual cancer ÷ cosplayed more than Harley Quinn Lies= Deadpool, disgust= Deadpool, trash= Deadpool N= Y where hope, N= truth and, Y= Deadpool)

**_Deadpool: You know, I've done this Death Battle bullshit three times now, and can I just say, I hope you douchebags never change. I love it! I'll be over there, chomping on popcorn and chimichangas while your heads explode trying to figure out how I could possibly lose this one. Toodles!_**

_**Wiz: Good riddance.**_

**Boomstick: Deadpool may be an annoying clown who has menaced Marvel's good and bad side for decades, but he's also had sex with my mom over a hundred times and made her moan— hey, hey, who changed the prompter!?**

**_Deadpool: (wildly_****_ whooping_****_ ala Curly)_**

**Boomstick: Come back here, you sunnuva b*tch!**

Everyone laughed at Broomstick's misery

* * *

Thoughts? They all knew he was gonna win...poor fools

* * *

The Mask (Also Jaune)

"Fun Fact this is Jaune form your universe" Smirked Zex

"What!?" Yelled everyone worried

_**Wiz: Psychologist Carl Jung once described the persona as "a kind of mask", designed on the one hand, to make a definite impression on others, and the other, to conceal the true nature of the individual.**_

**Boomstick/Yang: Uh, right!**

_**Wiz/Zex: Basically, who we are on the inside is different than who we are on the outside, but what if putting on a mask could actually reveal what was underneath it?**_

**Boomstick: Underneath the mask? Y-you mean your face?**

_**Wiz: I... don't even know how to start to answer that.**_

Everyone sat in silences to shocked at what boomstick said.

**Boomstick: Use your mouth, it's on your face. Well, while Wiz is trying to figure out how masks work, dumbass, let's talk about one mask in particular, _The_ Mask.**

"What's so special about that mask?" Asked Taiyang

_The Mask: Hey Buddy shut the fuck up!_

"No not another one!" Goodwitch screamed

_**Wiz: Its origins are shrouded in mystery. Some say it was used as a part of an African tribal ritual. Others say it was created by Loki, the Norse God of Mischief.**_

**Boomstick: Who knows and who cares? It wound up in the hands of Jaune Arc, the schlubbiest, dorkiest loser this side of Deadpool.**

**_Deadpool: Regenerating degenerates have feelings too, you know!_**

_**Wiz: Curious, Jaune donned the mask, and was transformed from an everyman to a superman.**_

_The Mask: Sssssmokin'!_

"Okay that was smooth!" Neptune said as a log came out of nowhere and sent him flying

"Hey! That was my kill!" Zex yelled as he was holding a sniper rifle

_The Mask: Ya snooze Ya loose Sucker!_

"I can LITERALLY erase you from existence you green faced, looney tunes copying, FREAK OF EVERYTHING MEANT TO BE OF A PARODY!" Record scratch

_**Deadpool: Dude...**_

_The Mask: Ouch that hurt_

"Don't steal my kills, BUT that doesn't mean you can hit him every now and again!"

_**Wiz: And now he's a big green cartoon character the media dubbed "Big Head".**_

**Boomstick: But you can just call him "The Mask". With his newfound powers, Stanley would take on the mob, get the girl, and live happily ever after, right?**

_**Wiz: Don't let the family movie fool you. Sorry, movies. I always forget that second one.**_

**Boomstick: Don't blame ya. This ain't your silly Steamboat Willie shenanigans. Get ready for some good old-fashioned hardcore violence!**

Neptune was seen running around from being set on fire.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Skarlet asked

"Yeah he'll be fine" Zex said while playing cards

_**Wiz: See, the mask itself is alive, and it desires nothing more than absolute carnage. By tapping into its wearer's repressed id, it can turn a nebbish nobody like Jaune into a rampaging serial killer.**_

_Popup: While the living mask grants its power to anyone who wears it, only those who can "swing into the madness" can truly use its full potential._

**Boomstick: Complete with Bugs Bunny powers! Horrifying.**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.)

_**Wiz: Meta-fictional combat scientists, like myself, have long speculated about a unifying theory that could explain the source of The Mask's powers. We call this phenomenon: Toon Force. Think of characters such as Bugs Bunny, Popeye, and Michael Jordan. A being that wields Toon Force seems capable of accomplishing almost anything they desire so long as they find it humorous. With this power, The Mask can manipulate the laws of physics whenever he likes, even breaking the 4th wall.**_

**Boomstick: Oh god, no, he can break it too? You never said anything 'bout that, and now we've got two of 'em.**

Pinkie Pie's arm pops out of nowhere.

_Pinkie Pie: Don't forget about me...!_

"No not again!" Qrow yelled while jumping into Winter's arms

Boomstick punches Pinkie Pie, and confetti sprays out.

**Boomstick: TWO of them.**

"She's gone now sweetie" Winter said soothingly

"Should we be worried about his psyche? Asked Goodwitch

"Nah he will be fine" Zex said while shadowboxing

_**Wiz: Ahem, regardless, Toon Force allows The Mask to summon any kind of weapon imaginable from thin air.**_

**Boomstick: Everything from oversized guns and rocket launchers, to whoopee cushions, dynamite, anvils, hell, anything from the good fellas at ACME.**

_**Wiz: Toon Force users can manipulate their bodies in any way they like, whether it be stretching their limbs, inflating themselves like a balloon or shape-shifting into giant monsters.**_

**Boomstick: And best of all, you can't really hurt a Toon. Well, at least, not in a normal way.**

_**Wiz: Right, it's not that The Mask has a specific healing factor or some such, it's more like he can just say "no" to damage.**_

**Boomstick: He's had holes blown in him, had his head cut up, stripped his own flesh from his bones, and was blown up into a bloody pulp. He can outpace Lobo, remember him? 'Cause he doesn't need to wait for his body to heal, it just happens.**

"Who is Lobo?" Yang Asked interested

"Oh No one." Zex said with a sinster smile and looking at the readers while mouthing 'Guess who is next'

_**Wiz: However the scariest thing about The Mask's use of Toon Force is how it affects the world around him. In most cases, the rules of Toon Force are applied to the user and whomever or whatever the force has effected**_

"...that is so unfair" Sun said shocked

**Boomstick: This even happens in the movie.**

_The Mask spins Tina Carlyle around so fast she becomes a whirlwind._

**Boomstick: Man, look at her go!**

"She is literally a tornado!" Cardin yelled

_**Wiz: But in the true canon of The Mask, this is not the case, and this leads to some, well... horrific imagery. The Mask can pick up cars and knock over buildings with ease. He can dodge point-blank bullets and run fast enough to set the ground on fire. He has survived massive explosions, giant robots, and being kicked in the testicles so hard, he flew.**_

All the guys winced and crossed their legs.

**Boomstick: Out of all the gore in those comics, that is the worst thing I've seen yet. But remember what we said before about him fighting Lobo, the guy who ate a city?**

_**Wiz: At one point, Lobo and The Mask raced around the entire planet several times in the span of just a few seconds, and then crashed into each other in an absolutely gargantuan blast. Based on their after trail rings, and given an estimated timeframe of less than half a minute, which fits, given the context, they must have been going over nine million meters per second.**_

"Damn he is fast!" Ozpin yelled surprising everyone

**Boomstick: Ah, what a couple of scamps.**

**_Wiz: There's only one way to really stop the Mask, and that's by removing the mask itself._**

"That shouldn't be hard." Said Ironwood

**Boomstick: Good luck trying, the only way is if the wearer has already decided to let it come off, and with the power it gives, who'd want to?**

Wiz: Technically the conscious of the person the Mask possesses still exists, and could be reasoned with or tricked into removing the mask.

"You were saying James?" Goodwitch deadpanned

_Popup: In the alternative-canon cartoon and film, the mask has been forcibly removed from children and animals. However, it's likely that their innocent nature and lack of unnatural bloodlust meant their connection to the mask was weaker than normal._

**Boomstick: Like when Lobo threw a guilt bomb at him after he murdered hundreds of people.**

_**Wiz: But The Mask itself has an astronomically powerful influence on its host.**_

**Boomstick: Right, I mean who doesn't like letting loose every once in a while. We've covered a lot of vicious murderers on the show, but I've never seen one who has as much fun with it as The Mask.**

_The Mask: Let's rock this joint!_

* * *

"Deadpool is fucked" said Neptune as he was kicked in the balls by Deadpool himself

**_Deadpool: WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOOP WHOOP!_**

Everyone laughed at his misfortune

* * *

Death Battle

**We see a tall building as we then see the top of it. Suddenly, we see Wade Wilson aka Deadpool crashing from a window as he was trying to grab the enchanted mask. The moment then turns to slow-motion.**

**_Deadpool: Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got in this mess. But there's only enough funding for a few minutes of animation, so we're skipping that part._**

"Awwww" Ruby said sad

**The slow-motion ends as Deadpool then falls down while letting out the iconic Goofy holler. He ends up crashing through the top of a passing bus with the mask underneath, leaving a silhouette- imprint**.

(*Cues: Goodbye, Chimichanga - Therewolf Media*)

**For a second, the bus explodes as a green tornado caught Deadpool and throws him to an alleyway as from the tornado once it cleared, The Mask now appears.**

**_The Mask: Ssssmokin'!_**

**Deadpool gets up from the alleyway.**

**_Deadpool: Alright, Majora's mistake! You got one chance to take that off!_**

**Deadpool brings out his guns, The Mask is shocked at Deadpool threatening him, he then drops the expression and then quickly brings out his own guns, only to be balloon guns.**

"What will those guns do?" Summer asked skeptical

**The Green-faced lunatic then blows them up till they pop, turning into multiple real firearms.**

**_The Mask: Penis metaphor!_**

**He unloads all his ammo at the mercenary**

"Ha!" Zex laughed

**with overkill.**

**_Deadpool: Huh?_**

**Deadpool gets shot in the chest, but heals in seconds, he then brings out his twin swords and slices through The Mask's firearms and his head as it is sent flying into the air until it lands backward on his neck, he turns his body backward as well to right it.**

**_The Mask: Woo! What a ride!_**

"That's bullshit!" Yelled Nora

**Deadpool sighs in irritation as he is then punched by The Mask's boxing glove. He then punches again, his head turning into Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.**

**_The Mask: (ala Drago) I must break you._**

"Where is Rocky when you need him" Zex stated confusing everyone

**He stretch punches Deadpool as the merc winces, but nothing happens, it then shoots in from another angle and punches him several times, the repeated punches begin to crack the very screen presenting the fight. Deadpool sees an opportunity to turn the fight around as he dives through the fragile screen. The Mask is left alone for only a moment in perplexity**

"Give me the Continuity Stone!" Deadpool yelled while shaking Zex back and forth

"R-R-Right pocket!" Zex said dizzy as Deadpool let him go and took the stone.

_Thump_

**he returns with the Continuity Gem.**

**_Deadpool: Got it!_**

"Are you okay?" Velvet asked

"I'll be good in a few minutes" Zex said with swirls in his eyes

**The Mask puts on a pair of nerd glasses.**

**_The Mask: (Nerd voice) Actually, that's not canon!_**

**_Deadpool: Let's just say, I know the right people. _**

"Fuck you Deadpool!" Zex Yelled

**_With this Continuity Gem, I can rewrite anything I need fixing._**

**In the backgound, potential alternate endings have been shown to past Death Battles: Link VS Cloud, Rogue VS Wonder Woman, Goku VS Superman 2, Yang VS Tifa, and Gaara VS Toph.**

"Was that me?!" Yelled Yang

**_Deadpool: I could stop Hitler from being born, rewrite the Star Wars prequels, or make you take off that mask!_**

**The Mask's hands reach up and begin to pull on his face.**

**_The Mask: Nnnnoooo! Stop it! Nooo!_**

**_Deadpool: This is over._**

"Deadpool no!" Zex yelled

**He snaps his fingers, we then see the two as storyboard drawings, now reduced to still frames and lines to denote activity.**

The Mask: Oh ho ho, wow! You weren't kidding!

Deadpool: Aw, beans! We're in the storyboards?

"GOD DAMN IT DEADPOOL!" Zex yelled

The Mask: Oh chum, I think that zany stunt of yours ran out the budget.

He opens his pocket, a moth flies out.

The Mask: Can't make the scene if you don't have the green.

Zex starts chocking Deadpool

"YOU ARE DEAD YOU STUPID LITTLE MICROPENIS SHIT!"

The Mask stops Zex.

The Mask: Whoa Whoa Whoa chum! You don't have to do that lucky for us!

He pulls in a light bulb and places it over his head.

The Mask: ...I have an idea!

Together, and restricted to cheap live-action cosplay, the pair concoct a number of inane schemes to raise some additional money. From door-to-door salesmanship, to selling Jaune's bathwater, to being gamers asking for donations, and playing competitive poker. Finally, as Jaune searches the couch of a guy's home, who Zex has at gunpoint, he finds a dollar.

Deadpool: Ah, that's it! Honeybun, we're good to go!

The Mask gives a thumbs up.

"Finally!" Zex yelled and shooting the man

The Mask: WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM!?

"He was plotting to destroy the world! I did us a favor!" Zex Yelled

Deadpool: Oh what could he have done to end the world!?

"Boku no pico as the main anime people should watch" Zex stated shivering

The Mask: THAT MONSTER!

The fight turns back to animation, the two now in a western standoff under a stormy sky. They glare each other down ready to draw.

"What happened?" asked Qrow as he didn't remember a thing

"Don't worry about it" Zex replied

But instead of guns, they both pull out a Continuity Gem.

_Deadpool: What? Where did you get that?_

_The Mask: Oh-ho-ho, Jack. I'm already wearing it!_

He tosses it aside and laughs maniacally as his head grows and turns more freaky. His opponent by contrast, looks on sadly as we then cut to black from Deadpool's mask socket.

_Deadpool (singing to the tune of "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid): _ _Look at this guy, he isn't me. Although the internet thinks he might be. Perhaps I've gone too far, far from my reality. _

He seals the Continuity Gem in an envelope and lets a postman Mask whisk it away.

_Deadpool: I'll do this right, I'm not a joke, what even is a chimichangaaaaa- _

"Poor Deadpool" Coco said sadly

Rumba music begins, The Mask, now donning a samba attire, shimmies towards Deadpool; he soon turns his maracas into chainsaws. The two fighters pace every step and action to the rumba beat. The katana is kicked out of his grasp, but Deadpool still refuses to give in, firing a volley of bullets that are only absorbed by The Mask. Said rounds are then spat back out, punching numerous holes in Wade, who has as both arms shorn off in a clean upward strike, he then spins and cuts Deadpool's body to pieces, his head flies into the air and The Mask catches it.

_Deadpool: Fuck you._

The Mask pulls a giant nuke with the term "Fat Lady" spray-painted on it out of his pocket and holds a magnifying glass to the timer, which counts down from five seconds.

_The Mask: Indeed._

"Was there a centipede in his teeth?!" Yang yelled

"Gross!" Goodwitch said

It finishes the countdown, but nothing happens, the two look at each other, The Mask taps it and it goes off in a mammoth explosion. We see two piles of dust, blown away by a fan next to The Mask, who is reclining in a lounge chair. The screen irises out, he holds it open.

_The Mask: Hahahaha, who's next?_

**KO!**

* * *

Results

The ones who hated Deadpool were celebrating like no tomorrow.

**Boomstick: Yes! He's gone! He's finally gone! He can never bother us again!**

He pauses.

**Boomstick: ...Why don't I feel as awesome as I should?**

_**Wiz: To be fair, given his more robust history, Deadpool held a solid advantage in experience and skill. He was relatively smarter and more... mentally put together in comparison. So it's possible he could've outsmarted The Mask if given the chance.**_

_Popup: Deadpool's carbonadium sword would not cancel the Mask's regenerative abilities. Carbonadium works by exposing regenerating cells to radioactivity that cancels their healing properties, but the Mask's invulnerability works differently._

"Well he didn't so I don't care!" Ironwood said

**Boomstick: Yes, if that chance was never gonna come. He had some really cool feats of strength and speed, but The Mask blew him out of the water. Like, who cares that Deadpool pulled around a six ton copter when The Mask knocked over a building weighing over a thousand tons? And comparing their speed, he's a hundred times faster, too. Like, there's no contest.**

_**Wiz: Not to mention, the size of the blast from The Mask and Lobo's collision equals 322 teratons of TNT. Trillions of times greater than Deadpool's asteroid feat.**_

"He was doomed from the start" Fox said wide eyed

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**Boomstick: Wiz, stop, none of that matters, this is stupid. We pit Deadpool against a cartoon god. Like you said, The Mask could just say "no" to damage. Deadpool couldn't even really hurt him! This whole thing was a blowout, a total stomp.**

"What?" Said the Audience

**_Wiz: No... I mean... I guess you're right. We're supposed to be impartial and we went too far, but Boomstick, it's too late to change it._**

"Aren't they like you Zex?" Summer asked shaking

"No...they are not" Zex replied

**Boomstick: There's no way to "mask" what we've done.**

_**Wiz: The winner is-**_

(Mask's arm comes out of the screen, slapping the letter Deadpool mailed during the battle into Boomstick's face.)

**Boomstick/CRDL: What the hell?**

He opens it.

**_Deadpool's voice: Dear Wiz and Boomstick, I know our relationship has been a rocky one, but I just wanted to say, thanks. Thanks, for helping me rediscover who I am. Who I really am. The past decade of memes and cosplays and Hot Topic shirts changed me, and I couldn't see it on my own. You made me remember my true self, missing feet and all, and with some help from this royalty-free Sarah McLachlan rip-off song, I hope you can find, in your hearts, your true selves too. Sayonara, Death Battle, sayonara._**

"No Deadpool come back!" Cried Everyone except Zex

**Boomstick: I can't believe I'm saying this Wiz, but, I wish he was still around!**

_**Wiz: Yeah. Me too.**_

**Boomstick shakes the envelope, causing the Continuity Gem to fall into his hand.**

_**Wiz/Audience: OH NO!**_

"Run for your lives!" Sun yelled

**Deadpool appears in a flash of light, back from the dead thanks to Wiz and Boomstick's wish.**

**_Deadpool: OH YES!_**

**Wiz, Boomstick, and the audience scream and make a run for it while The Mask's arm can be seen pulling down an image of himself.**

_The Mask: The winner is me! Hahahaha!_


	14. SantaBadass and Limits?

**I OWN NOTHING FROM THIS VIDEO! I LOVE BEATDOWNBOOGIE! I have changed it a tiny bit so don't say anything! Just enjoy!**

* * *

Everyone finally came back to the room and saw that it was different.

"Christmas stuff?" Yang asked shocked

"Yup!" Zex yelled popping into existence scaring everyone

"Stop doing that!" Goodwitch yelled while hitting him over the head with her riding crop

"Anyway I hope y'all are ready for the viewing!" Zex stated

"We are but why is all this stuff here?" Sun Asked

"Well my dear friend" "We are not friends" "it's Christmas! And as such it is my responsiblity to make sure you have a very Merry Christmas!" Zex said happily

"I celebrate Hanukkah." Ozpin said

"Well then Happy Hanukkah Ozzy!" "Don't call me that" "But either way you all are still getting presents!" said Zex

"Can we watch the video first" Yang asked annoyed

"But of course! And I'm pretty sure Ruby will love it!" Zex exclaimed

"Why?" Ruby Asked

"Because Santa's in it! And I mean it! Jolly ol'Saint Nick himself will appear in the video and he is a BADASS!" Zex cackled happily

While everyone else paled at his laugh knowing this wasn't gonna end well, Ruby sat in her chair excitedly.

"Oh! Before I forget!" Zex ran out the room

_15 MINUTES LATER_

"Sorry took me a bit to find them!" Zex came in smiling

They saw him walk in with a...BABY!? Neptune, who was trying to impress Weiss, tried to take the baby away from Zex. Yeah it didn't end well for him since he is now being chased by a T-Rex with a clown riding it while holding a bucket of water.

"Oh is this your Niece?" Winter asked curiously

"Yup" Neptune ran by screaming for his mother "she is pretty big now and well I'm so happy she will be having her first Christmas here!"

Neptune ran by soaking wet with the bucket on his head as the T-Rex was now breathing fire and the clown had a chainsaw.

"Should we help him?" Yastuashi asked Coco

"Nah let this continue its actually getting interesting!" Coco said as he ran by again on a unicycle with the T-Rex on a tricycle

"Okay what is happening to Neptune?" Asked a Voice

"Jaune!" All the girls who had sex with him screamed in happiness and swarmed him.

"Hey guys! How have you guys been!" He asked

"Missing your touch" Weiss said kissing him on the check

Jaune chuckled "I miss you all too but first ZEX!"

"Sí!" Zex yelled back

"Help Neptune! For Pete's sake how do you come up with wacky punishments!?" Jaune yelled utterly dumbfounded at the fact that Neptune was now being chased while both parties were on pogo sticks.

"Hey let me have my fun!" Zex said

"No. Fix this. Now." Jaune said firmly

"Fine." Zex snapped his fingers as Neptune was set free

Once that was done everyone went to their seats as Yang glared at Jaune. Zex smiled knowing she would love the gift he had for her.

**A living room was shown decorated to the brim. Jaune Arc was sitting on the couch as his daughter was cooking cookies. Once she was done she put out the cookies with milk.**

**"These are for Santa daddy! Please don't eat them!" His daughter said as she was revealed**

**She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Her hair matched that of Yangs length and she had on a blue bunny onesie. This was Olivia Arc and she did not look happy. **

**"Well Santa doesn't come when you are awake sweetheart so go to bed." He gestured up the stairs. **

**Olivia walked towards the stairs. "Good night daddy!" "Good night sweet heart!" **

Taiyang was fuming but knew this wasn't a reality. YET but he had a feeling it will soon.

"My Granddaughter/Niece is so cute!" Yelled Summer and Ruby

**"You know you will have to tell her at some point right?" Said a voice to his left**

**Yang Xiao Long Arc had matured well over the years. If anything age made her more beautiful. At least in Jaune's eyes. **

**"I know but i can't bring myself to tell her yet. Besides she is only nine, no need to rush things right?" Jaune asked**

**"I guess you are right. I'll see you in the morning him" Yang said while kissing him.**

Yang sat there shocked.

**"See you soon Darlin'." Jaune replied as his wife walked up the stairs. **

**As soon as he was alone Jaune got up and took one of the cookies and turned his back to them. **

"Why are you eating Santa's Cookies!?" Ruby Yelled

"Santa's not real" Zex said bluntly

"What." Ruby said shocked with tears in her eyes

Jaune glared at Zex until he saw the glint is his eyes.

_'Santa is real in this world isn't he?"_ Jaune asked telepathically

_'HELL YES HE IS! NEVER STOP BELIEVING!' _

**As Jaune was about to bite into the cookie they saw a man in a red suit with white fur on the out lines. Jaune turned around and standing across from him was the Saint of Christmas himself. Santa Claus.**

Jaws hit the floor as who they were seeing was standing before them.

"He is real" Winter said shocked

"MOM YOU LIED TO ME!" SSSN, CRDL, and CFVY yelled

"HA! SUCK IT ZEX! HE IS REAL!" Ruby exclaimed

"Well duh he is Santa Claus! Why the he'll should I not believe in him!" Zex yelled "I heard hoofprints on my roof when i was a kid!" "You had a childhood?" "And got the note from him myself! How can i not believe in him! That's like telling a catholic God doesn't exist!"

**Santa was shaking in anger as Jaune bit into the cookie. He threw down his sack.**

**"You son of a-"**

_**SANTA'S COOKIES**_

"Jaune you done fucked up! Neptune said as he was all of a sudden hit with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

"Why is he always getting hit?" Pondered Ironwood not realizing there is a weight that says one ton right above his head with Deadpool and The Mask waiting for the right moment to strike.

"C'mon you cyborg fucker move just on inch to the left." As he said that Ironwood scooted over one inch to the left and Deadpool cut the rope. It hit his head hard and he was planted into the ground Like a tree.

"Who did that!" Ironwood yelled kissed

Deadpool/The Mask: GOTTA BLAST!

"GET BACK HERE!" Ironwood yelled as he chased them

Zex facepalmed "I knew i shouldn't have left the sugar out."

**Jaune punched Santa in the face. Santa retaliated with a Jab to his face. Jaune tried to throw a haymaker but was pushed back into the wall.**

**Santa was bouncing in place "C'mon! C'mon!" **

**Jaune started throwing presents as Santa just started laughing. Jaune, who ran out of presents, looked to his left and saw the Christmas tree star. He took it off and Santa gasped**

**"How dare you!" Santa said offended**

"What is that gonna do?" Cardin asked as Deadpool was seen getting beaten down by Ironwood who was using The Mask like a bat Qaun Chi style.

**Jaune threw the Christmas star but Santa caught it with two hands and threw it back somehow getting lodged into the wall.**

"I don't think thats how it works?" An Ren said

"No it doesn't" Winter said ignoring the fact Ironwood, Deadpool, and The Mask were running from a pissed off Zex who was covered in Hot Chocolate.

**Santa threw Jaune onto the table. As Jaune pulled out the mini tree from his butt he sat tire disoriented completely oblivious to the fact Santa was tying a Christmas light around his hand to act like a make shift brass knuckle.**

"Okay that's gonna hurt." Li Ren said as Deadpool was thrown into a wall.

**Santa stood above Jaune and started to punch him in the face. Santa was laughing the entire time. **

"Santa you are scaring me" Ruby said shivering

The Mask was blown up in the background.

**The lights went out. "Huh!?" **

**Jaune took this chance and hit him in his jingle bells. Jaune stood up as santa fell and tried to figure out a good way to stun him. He found his answers! **

**Santa/Deadppol: NOT THE SACK!**

Deadpool was hit in the nuts with a baseball bat HARD.

"Ohhhhhhhh" he moaned out in pain

**Santa was hit in the face with his own Christmas sack and was hit by Jaune's right hook. As he went for another one Santa shoulder throws him into the Christmas Tree waking up Yang and Olivia. They both walked out of their rooms with Olivia holding stuffed animals. **

"She is so adorable!" All the girls squealed

**"Mommy what was that?" Olivia asked scared as she hid behind her mom**

**"I don't know but lets go find out" Yang replied as they walked down the stairs.**

**The camera switched to show the staircase as they both walked down it. Olivia dropped her stuff animals as Yang's jaw hit the floor. There sitting side by side was Jaune and Santa Claus eating cookies together.**

**"Dad!? Santa!?" Olivia asked surprised**

**"Hi honey!" Jaune said nonchalantly**

**"Hello Olivia! Thanks for the cookies!" Santa said as he munched down on one of her cookies.**

**"Jaune did you fight Santa Claus?" Yang asked with a glint in her eye**

**"Yes, yes I did" both Jaune's answered honestly**

**"Gave me a hard time to! You have yourself one amazing father Olivia!" Santa said happily as he started to put presents under the tree**

**"Jaune. Bedroom. Now." Yang said sternly but they could here a hint of lust**

**The screen fades to black**

* * *

Yang had walked out of the room to think. Was Jaune really that good of a father? Right now he seemed more like a womanizer than anything.

"Yang are you alright?" A voice asked making her jump

She turned around and saw Jaune Arc himself standing there in all his glory.

She glared and growled "What are you doing here?"

"Well one you walked out looking angry, wo I wanted to ask you something, and three this is where I live and train. So yeah." Jaune replied she looked around. She didn't even notice she walked into his training hall somehow.

"What is your question?" She sighed

"How do you feel about all that is happening?" Jaune asked

"You mean your little harem! I don't like that you deflowered Ruby!" She yelled as she tried to punch him only for him to simple catch her fist shocking her.

"You really don't listen to Zex so you?" Jaune chuckled

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yang asked as she pulled back her fist

"Ruby is old enough in Zex's eyes to know these things and as such he is teaching her what you, Qrow, Summer, and Taiyang are to scared to teach her. I know it sucks but she would learn this stuff when she finally gets a boyfriend and let's be honest she would have been taken advantage of. In his world she would be perfect prey to any criminal with any devious intent." Jaune answered

Yang's jaw dropped and her semblance activated "I could've protected her!"

"No you couldn't. Yang his world has people far better trained for hand to hand combat. To all of them you and all Huntsman would seem like idiots trying to act like heroes. Zex is trying to teach you that you won't and can't be there forever." Jaune said as he saw something he never expected

Yang was on the verge of tears. She started hitting his chest which, surprisingly, had no effect on him.

"I don't want her to grow up yet! I don't want Ruby to be alone in a cold world Jaune! How could you and Zex understand that!" Yang yelled crying

"I don't know it, but Zex does." He said shocking Yang "He has seen it happen and he is still pissed about it. While he still has happy moments he can remember each night as his mother sacrificed eating to keep him and his siblings alive. He remembers the gunshots he heard one night as he was laying in a bed next to a window that he and his brother moved close to. He remembers the bullies. He remembers how cold some adults were to him just because he didn't live up to their standards of being smart. He remembers living in a house that was so old it was a miracle on how it didn't fall apart. He knows how cold the world is first hand and while he did have good memories, the bad haunts him. He remembers the people who turned their backs on him just because he was 'Uncool'. He remembers being used by others. He knows what your feeling so he is making sure Ruby is prepared for that reality." Jaune said as Yang stood shocked

Zex+Cold world=preparing Ruby

"But what about you? Where do you play into all this Lady killer?" Yang asked as she was pulled into a comforting hug by Jaune

"I don't know Yang. Zex is plotting something yes but it seems more on the lines of making sure we are all happy. I know for a fact he fixed Ren's parents home village and brought back those who were dead so they may remain. My main question is? What will you do yang?" Jaune asked

"Probably just keep moving forward I guess. I have one more question though. Why did you have sex with Ruby?" She Asked

"More like she tackled me and demanded I have sex with her. While at first I was extremely hesitant I will admit she felt amazing. I love Ruby as I do the other girls. If my father were here he would be yelling something about the Arc charm has done it again." Jaune chuckled

"What about me?" She asked shyly

'_What is wrong with me!?" _Yang thought

"I don't like you." Jaune said making Yang nearly run out the room crying "I love you"

"W-What" Yang said shocked

"I love the fact you smile in front of danger and say bring it on. I love the fact you care so much for Ruby and your friends. I love the fact you want to adventure some day and keep the world smiling. I love the fact you don't take shit from anybody, and well as Zex would say" Yang was pulled in close as Jaune stared into her lilac eyes with nothing but love "I love a woman who could kick my ass"

"If you caught that reference then you my friend are a person of culture!" Zex yelled in the background somehow not being heard by Jaune and Yang

Yang stood there is awe. She now could see why all the other girls fell in love with him. He was so kind and caring. He only cared about the person never the outlook. She did something she never thought she would do. She pulled Jaune in for a kiss. Jaune returned ot as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They pulled away for air after five minutes and looked into each others eyes.

"Follow me" Yang said as she pulled Jaune out of the room. They were walking through the corridors of Beacon and they could see what Zex meant. The world was frozen still. Not even a single speck of dust moved as they walked. It was like they were in some type of void. They were at Yang's dorm room and walked in. Yang locked the door behind her and pushed Jaune onto her bed and straddled him. They began kissing again as she moaned into it. She was enjoying this.

"_I hope Dad doesn't figure our that I'm not gonna be back for a bit_" Thought Yang

* * *

"Taiyang no you are not interfering with those two's alone time" Zex said as the girls, except Summer, were playing with Zex's niece

"At this point I don't even think I can do jack with you here." Taiyang sighed as Summer patted him on the back "At least let me go get Christmas gifts."

_"you are buying Summer that necklace she asked for all those years ago aren't ya?_" Zex asked telepathically

"_No I already have it. I just need to go get it. It's back in a safe at home" _

_"oh why didn't you say so i can just bring it here for ya!"_ Zex replied as he snapped his fingers and a box popped up.

"Thank you" Taiyang said holding the box that was supposed to be in the safe

"Your welcome!"

Taiyang turned around and gave the box to Summer. She opened it and saw a beautiful necklace that had a big red garner.

"Merry Christmas Summer" Taiyang said with a smile...until he was tackled out of the room by Summer who was screaming "BED! NOW!"

"Note to self: Ruby and Summer are more alike than I thought" Zex said with wide eyes

* * *

Yang was grinding on Jaune. She was loving the look on his face and could feel his size. She was not gonna lie she was scared out of her mind. Unlike popular belief she was still a virgin. Many guys have tried to get in her pants but all have failed. Only one person almost did it. Fortunately her friends exposed him for the jackass he was.

Jaune pulled away from the kiss making Yang nervous. He took off his shirt and she saw his rock hard physique. She rubbed her band on his body and instantly fell more in love with him. Even though she was nervous he was only going at her pace. He was so gentle with his touch. It made her excited.

Yang took of her jacket, shorts, and boots. Jaune was honestly shocked she stripped in front of him. She stood before him, covering her body with her hands, with a nervous blushing face.

"D-D-Don't stare please" Yang said blushing like crazy

Jaune pulled her close to him as she 'eeped' and was on his lap yet again. She saw the look in his eyes as he whispered in her ear. "You look beautiful Yang"

Yang's heart fluttered as she could feel his loving embrace. She could see it in his eyes. No malice, no ostensible reason for wanting to get into bed with her. He just wanted to make her feel something she truly never felt with any other boy. Safe. She felt safe in his arms. He kissed her with all the love she ever wanted and more.

She now wanted to go even further with him. She slowly went down and undid his pants. She saw the tent in his boxers and she grew more anxious. Jaune put his fingers under her chin and made her look up at him. She saw the look in his eyes and saw all the love and lust mixed in his blue eyes.

"Yang if you feel like you are not ready for this I can wait. I'll wait til the end of the world if i have too." Jaune said as he saw her eyes widen

"No I want this Jaune I'm just scared that you'll leave me after this."" Yang said honestly and she wasn't lying. Most of the guys who she dated, when they found out they won't get what they want, left her and never looked back. In fact she was always called names behind her back just because they didn't get what they wanted.

Jaune brought her in for a kiss. "Why would I love you? That would be the equivalent of a flower refusing the Sun. I would crave you until I die without you."

Yang suddenly pounced him and immediately, with new found confidence, pulled down his boxers and started to give him a hand job. Jaune moaned into the kiss as this happened. Yang hot a bright idea that she knows for a fact he has never had done to him before.

She pulled away from the kiss, much to Jaune's disappointment, she got on her knees and undid her bra. Jaune watched as they fell and bounced. She grabbed them and put Jaune in between them and gave him a tit job. Jaune moaned and that made her smirk.

_"He likes it! He likes it! He likes it! I'm making him sound like this!" _Yang thought happily

She took him in her mouth and started to give him a blow job as well. Jaune looked her in the eyes as his face was turning red. Yang could see that he, as he put his hand on her head, was in love with this and could see the fire in his eyes growing bigger and bigger.

She stopped and stood up. Jaune watched as she took off the last article of clothing and stood there naked. She crawled on to Jaune's lap and lined him up with her entrance. She slammed herself down on his member as she screamed in pain. Jaune pulled her in close as she cried trying to get use to him inside her.

"You should have gone slowly! There is no need rush it!" Jaune said as she held onto him

"I-I-I just wanted to satisfy you." Yang said in between sobs

"Yang if you think just because the other girls were eager doesn't mean you have to dive into it." Jaune explained "I'm not gonna leave you just because it may have happened in the past doesn't mean I'll do it. If those idiots truly cared they would have taken more time to care about you! Not your body!"

Yang sat there in utter shock. "Y-You mean even if I didn't want do go this far and just did the tit job you would have been perfectly fine?" She Asked

"Yang I'm not here for the sex. I'm here for you. One of the many girls who fell in love with me. I care more about your well being than just sex." Jaune said as Yang suddenly began to grind

"Then fuck me Jaune! I want you more than ever now!" Yang exclaims as she kissed him with passion

Jaune began to thrust into her and she bounced on him. Her moans were quick and she held on for dear life. Jaune put his face in between her breast as she held him there. Yang was happier than a dog wagging its tail. She was making love with someone who truly cared for her. Not there for her body. Not there for her boobs. He was there to be one with her and she loved it! Suddenly she was on her side as Jaune pulled out.

"Jaune!? What are you-OH!" Yang said as Jaune layed down behind her, lifted one of her legs and thrusted in her. Yang was a moaning mess as Jaune kept thrusting into her. She didn't know what to do so she just followed her instincts. She grabbed Jaune's head and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Jaune returned the passion as he thrusted into faster.

Yang moaned out as she could feel Jaune in her. He let go of her leg and grabbed her hip with one hand and with the other fondled her breast. Yang was moaning like crazy now and looked Jaune in the eyes. She saw it again. The fire was raging like a wildfire and Yang was the spark that started it all. Jaune picked up yang and put her on her stomach as he kept thrusting into her. She grabbed the blankets and had her face down in the sheets. His hands on her hips as he kept going.

"Harder! Harder Jaune!" Yang said breathlessly as Jaune obliged and added more force

Jaune's face came into view as he panting. Yang looked at him and gave him a sloppy kiss and he returned it. While not as clean as the others it was enough to maks him go even further. Yang started to beg him to go faster and he didn't dare disobey.

Jaune picked up the speed and she started screaming into the pillow. She was nearly at her limit but she wanted him to be in her arms when it happened. She forced Jaune to pull out and layed on her back. Jaune realigned himself and thrusted in her making her scream in pleasure. She pulled Jaune in for a kiss as her legs wrapped around him. She could feel it coming and Jaune knew he was at his limit.

"Yang I'm at my limit!" Jaune said as he started to pick up the pace

"In me Jaune! In me! I want your babies!" She yelled

* * *

Zex stood there confused on why he suddenly felt his "No pregnancy" shells went down. It wouldn't go down unless...

"GOD DAMN IT XIAO LONG!" Zex Yelled in anger

"What happened?" Qrow asked as everyone, Summer and Taiyang came back from their 'fun', looked at Zex in confusion

"Your niece decided she wanted Arc's kids so now my sheild won't affect her!" Zex raged

"What!" Everyone Yelled

"Welp y'all ready for grandkiddies! Cause I'm gonna go find some my god damn vodka stash!" Zex said while rubbing his forehead (1)

"Bring us some to please" Qrow said as we could see Taiyang crying his eyes out

* * *

Jaune started pounding her that she started to scream out his name.

"FUCK ME JAUNE! FUCK ME GOOD! IM YOURS NOW DADDY!" Yang yelled

* * *

Everyone heard Yang and jaws hit the floor.

"Scratch that I'm gonna go find fucking spartan's ale!" Zex Yelled(2)

"Bring us some too!" Taiyang yelled as Sumner was sobbing happily

"I get grandbabies!" She exclaimed as everyone sweatdropped

* * *

Jaune with a final thrust came all inside her as Yang's eyes rolled up and her lounge hanged out. She loved it. She might get pregnant but who cares. She got it from a man who truly loved her. Nothing will ever change that.

As they layed down and covered up to go to sleep Yang saw Zex standing there with a tick mark

"Good job Xiao Long! Now you'll get pregnant! I hope you're happy!" Zex said as he disappeared delivering the alcohol

Wait does that mean...his powers do have limits and can only work on what the target wants...well bright side is she has a kid now...downside he might leave.

"Don't you dare think I'm gonna leave our kid without a father! Arc's never abandon their children!" Jaune whispered in her ear. Relief flooded her body as she snuggled up to Jaune. A smile plastered on her face

* * *

**Yup Xiao Long did that...God damn it. Well anyways hops y'all enjoyed the story!**

**(1) I don't actually drink**

**(2) Its a made up brand of drink. Yes there was real Spartan alcohol, wine being one of them, but I'm making up a brand writers can use if they need something far stronger than Vodka**


	15. Jaune vs Nightmare

Yang had finally gotten back to the amphitheatre. When she got there only her teammates, Velvet, and Summer were there.

"Wher-"

"So how was your "daddy" Jaune Yang? By the sounds of it you loved it!" Teased Blake as Yang blushed

"She looooooves him!" Said a random flying blue cat that was kicked out of the room by Zex

Yang turned around and was utterly terrified. Zex's eyes were glowing blood red and he looked like he was on the verge of destroying a universe.

"I spent three weeks on that shield." Zex started as he stomped towards Yang who was shaking in fear.

"And you. Wanted his. BABIES!" Zex pulled her close to him by her jacket and practicality roared in her face. They stopped and heard humming. Zex turned around and saw Blake holding a pregnancy test while nervously laughing as she realized Zex saw that the test that was positive.

"Oops" Blake said nervously

Zex roared louder than Godzilla and obliterate the school. He stood in the rubble shaking in anger.

"Zex! Fix that now!" Yelled a Voice

"Why!?" He yelled back angrily.

"Because if You don't so help me I'll-"

"Okay okay sheesh" Zex grumbled as he rewound time making all of them stare at him in fear.

"Okay, WHO ELSE IS PREGNANT!" Zex asked

All the girls raised their hands as Ruby looked at her mom. "You too!?"

"Well honey you got your taste in men from somewhere" Summer giggled remembering her night with Tai.

"I'm gonna get a migraine" Zex said as he rubbed his forehead

"Don't you have a baby niece?" Velvet asked

"I do but I didn't get a migraine from her." Zex Deadpanned

"Wait where is-" "They all got drunk and are currently sleeping it off. Coco and Fox went into town last night and I'm pretty sure robbed all the clothes stores. Goodwitch and Ozpin are passed out in their respective offices. Taiyang and Qrow are in guest dorms. Yastuashi is asleep in his dorm. And Ironwood is currently chasing Deadpool down for peeking on a Drunk Winter." Zex said tiredly

"Wait! What about Winter!" Weiss asked nervous

"I was drunk last night and she ended up in my bed while I slept on the roof." Zex explained

"...Why do I believe that?" Yang asked surprised

"Because unlike most guys I'm not a Jody." Zex said casually

"What's a Jody." Ruby asked

"Think of them as the "fuck you over" or "has sex with your significant other" type of person." Zex explained (1)

"So like my Ex?" Yang said bitterly

"Yup now we got three more Death Battles to watch excluding this one!" Zex explained

"Are we ever gonna come back to any of them?" Weiss asked curiously

"Depends on what the readers want." Zex said confusing everyone till Summed spoke up

"You can do what Deadpool, Pinkie Pie, and The Mask can do...can't you." Summer stated with a flat look

"Yup!" Zex said not even denying it

"Wait a minute. How come we are getting pregnant?" Pryhha asked

"Did y'all want kids?" He asked as they all nodded had "then that's why"

"Wait what about the three weeks of hard work?" Asked Velevt

"I only have had these powers for less than a year" Zex stated shocking everyone

"B-But you can do tons of things! How are you still only a beginner!?" Yelled Weiss

"One I'm more combat prone than any other writer, that I'm aware of, two I don't do these things often, and three the powers depend on the person and their personality. Think of it like a semblance on steroids." Zex explained

"Oh that makes sense...I guess" Ruby said

"Wait!" Yelled Pryhha "where is Ren, Nora, and his Parents!"

"Well about that..."

* * *

"FUCK ME REN! FUCK ME!" Nora Yelled as Ren was going crazy with his new wife in their room.

An Ren giggled "I remember when you did that to me dear"

"Well then sweet heart" Li Ren said as he picked up his wife who yelped in excitement "shall we?"

"Oh yes!" She yelled as she dragged him from the hotel they were staying at to a nearby apartment complex

* * *

"...Ill explain later" Zex said as he rubbed his forehead with two fingers

"Okay then" Blake said worried

"Okay fuck it. I'm gonna show you the Battle after all." Zex said tiredly

"Wait! What about the others!" Ruby asked

"Leave them be for now" Zex said as he checked on Ironwood

* * *

"COME BACK HERE YOU PERVERTED SHIT!" Ironwood yelled as he was firing his pistol at Deadpool who wad running away.

"GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST IRONDICK!" He yelleed back

"Okay that's enough" Zex said as Deadpool was crushed by an anvil. As he crawled out from under it he saw Ironwood's boot and looked up to see him cracking his knuckles.

"Mommy" he squeakex out in fear as Ironwood began to beat him down.

* * *

"He finally got his hands on Deadpool and I don't give a damn right now." Zex stated

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

_**Wiz: For untold decades, scientists have searched for a legitimate method of measuring a person's level of badassness, completely missing the obvious answer.**_

**Boomstick: Just check out the size of his sword!**

"Well then Jaune would win that contest" giggled Blake

"I don't need to know that" Zex stated

"Why? Cause you can't compare?" Yang teased

"No because I don't need to know about y'alls sex life." Zex deadpanned

"I will always prefer Taiyang girls" Summer giggled as Zex raised his hand

"Don't make me blow up this amphitheatre again." Zex said annoyed

"Oh come on your powers work only if we want them too!" Yang stated as everyone started to feel better than him

"Remember when I said I'm more combat prone than any other?" Zex said with a malicious grin

"Yeah what about it?" Weiss asked

"This isn't my real form kiddos!" Zex said shocking them

"What?" Velvet asked scared

"Oh my real form is a humanoid dragon so big it could eat a black hole for a snack! My human form is the only way I could actually fit in this damn amphitheatre" Zex said as his eyes turned into dragon eyes glowing blood red and they could feel power radiating off of him.

"DON'T. TEST. ME." He simply said as they all nodded in fear except Weiss who asked a question

"How does that form work for combat?"

"We go by many things. Gods, Writers, Watchers. I prefer more of a editor style if you will. With a wave of our hand we could erase an entire world! As such we live in a separate universe that I'll call the "Original". There is where we live. Like you we love, create, and weave tales of our own. Its sad that not many use their power. Others can create horrific monsters that we read or can play in a simple video game. In other words Schnee. My real form outside your realm is human. But in this world I can be any thing. That I want to be." Zex explained scaring everyone

"M-Monsters" Ruby said trembling

"Oh yes why one of the most famous is this guy!" Zex said as he snapped his fingers and the screen was black. White gloves came out as a face was shown. He had white make up with red lines going down his fave to his mouth. He looked at everyone and smiled.

"Hey! I'm Pennywise the Dancing Clown!" Pennywise said

"H-Hi" Blake said confused

"Ohhhhhh. I smell it." He said creeping everyone out "Zex! You're all grown up now! I've missed you! Oh how I've missed you!" He said as all the girls started to hide behind him

"The children! Their children" he laughed "I'll love playing with them. We will go to the carnival" he started to get closer to the screen "We will eat the popcorn" He said his teeth were shown to be sharped jagged teeth "AND ILL MAKE THEM FLOAT!" He yelled as the lights went out.

When They came back on he was gone. They turned off.

"ILL MAKE YOU ALL FLOAT!" Pennywise was shown as a giant monster spider as he charged at them. All the girls screamed until he suddenly stopped.

"You have no power here clown." Zex said as he walked forward "maybe I should tell you my favorite meal."

"Favorite? Meal?" Pennywise asked as he saw Zex's eyes go dragon like and teeth turn sharp.

"SPIDER CLOWN STEW!" Zex yelled as he grew bigger than Pennywise and devoured him in front of all the girls.

As Zex transformed back he saw then shaking. He knew they were terrified but that was the point. He needed them to know that there were monsters far more dangerous than any Grimm in the multiverse. If he was seen as one of them. So be it.

"Now sit back down. It's time for the Death Battle." Zex said as he walked away. The girls all started to move towards their seats but Summer looked at Zex.

"_He is shaking"_ Summer thought "_A monster doesn't shake. He is more like a child who lost his way before he even got out of middle school. How much are you truly hurting Zex?"_

**Like Jaune, the brutal black swordsman from Berserk.**

_**Wiz: And Nightmare, the demonic scourge from Soul Calibur.**_

"He looks scary" Velvet said still shaken up

**Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

* * *

Jaune (Guts)

(*Cues: Berserk - Et Voici Guts*)

_**Wiz: In the realm of Midland, rumors run rampant of a man wielding a humongous blade slaying any that get in his way, but before his legend grew, this black swordsman was known simply as Jaune**_.

**Boomstick: Oh ho, man, I'm so excited! Jaune is one of the most badass and hardcore characters ever.**

_Guts shouts and swings a smaller sword, which shatters a ball and chain's ball._

"That's our Jaune!" Yang yelled

"Yup!" Ruby agreed

"_they are gonna hate how he was born" _Zex thought

(*Cues: Berserk - Boscorn 2*)

_**Wiz: But** **the story of Jaune is not for the faint of heart.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, it's... kind of dark. You've been warned.**

"Oh no" Blake said scared of what happened to him

_**Wiz: After a brutal massacre, Jaune was born from the corpse of his mother, who had been hanged from a tree.**_

All the girls sat there shocked. They all had tears going down their eyes as they heard it. Until They remembered what Zex said. Some people were created for...entertainment!? Yang charged until Zex lifted her in the air.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR DIMENSION!?" She Yelled

"His story is one of tragedy. His world was purposely made far more cruel. Yet he over comes every challenge with no regret. He, in my eyes, wasn't created as entertainment. He was created to be a symbol of light. In his world it is overcome by demons and evil monsters. Yet he slays them all. He is what many of us strives to be. A hero." Zex said as he gently planced Yang back in her chair.

"No one can choose their origin. Yet, when WE create a story. There is always a purpose. This version of Jaune is the embodiment of sheer will and determination. He is a mere human. And He stands amongst gods as the one of the most feared mortals in existence. No one wants to take the risk of challenging him." Zex stated as Summer saw him shaking more. Weiss, following Summer's eyes, saw Zex shaking as well. Both knew he didn't like what happened. They think its why his respect for this Jaune is so high.

**Boomstick: And we're just getting started. **

"Oh come on!" Everyone yelled

**Baby Guts was discovered by a traveling band of mercenaries and was adopted by the camp whore.**

_**Wiz: Who... died of the plague three years later. With no one left to turn to, Guts was mentored by the mercenary leader Gambino, who began training him in swordsmanship when he was just six years old.**_

"That is way to young!" Yang Yelled

"Remember Shaolin Kung Fu?" Zex asked as they nodded "There are children as young if not younger who practice it at its birthplace. The Shaolin Temple. They grow up incredibly strong and far more developed than any man or woman on this planet"

_?: Hey Guts! Why don't you use a smaller sword? One right for your size?_

_Guts tries to attack Gambino, who then knees him._

_Gambino: We don't carry any baby-sized swords for kids here anyway._

"Bastard" Summer said as she glared at Gambino

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

_**Wiz: An extremely determined student of war, Jaune was soon brought on to the battlefield and killed his first man at the age of nine.**_

"What!" They all yelled

**Boomstick: Despite his skill, life wasn't all murder sunshine and rainbows. Young Jaune was constantly abused in many ways that I don't really want to go into.**

"Was he?" Blake asked not wanting to finish the sentence

"Yes...yes he was" Zex as they all could feel the temperature rise in the room. Summer and Weiss noticed the shaking and the absolute look of anger in his eyes.

"_He is angry."_ Summer thought

_"What are you hiding Zex?"_ Weiss thought

**But these awful things he had to endure kickstarted the long and excruciating process of grooming Jaune into the scariest man in the world.**

(*Cues: Berserk - More Death and Silence 2*)

_**Wiz: After killing his crazed adopted father in self-defense, Jaune became a lone mercenary and a damn good one. Recognized for his skill, he was recruited by a mercenary group called the Band of the Hawk, Led by an ambitious man named Griffith.**_

"That's a man!?" Yelled all the girls

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

**_Wiz: The Hawk's raiders would be Jaune's first taste of comradery and friendship._**

**Boomstick: Over the next three years, they single-handedly ended a one-hundred year war. Things were looking up for Jaune,**

"Yay! Here comes the-"

**aaaand then Griffith summoned a horde of demons, transformed into a bat monster, and murdered all of Jaune's friends, and claimed ownership of Jaune's soul by branding his neck. If that wasn't dramatic enough, Griffith then raped Jaune's girlfriend in the pool of his friends' blood as he watched, pinned down with his eye gouged out and forced to cut of his own arm.**

Trash cans popped up next to them as they all threw up. The gore was enough but Weiss sat there shaking in anger.

"What kind of Monster does that!" Weiss yelled as it slowly dawned her "You knew...didn't You Zex?"

Everyone looked at Zex as he stood there. "As I said before there are many forms of monsters that we create. Griffith being one of them. He is what every man and woman should never be. The embodiment of a human monster. No one is a saint. If they are then they are good at lying. We all have dark secrets that we choose to hide. I for one know mine and I direct them into something productive. I never had a life like this Jaune's but I know for damn certain I would be in his group trying to kill that son of a BITCH. It's why I choose to join the Marines. To hunt down scum like him and bring them to justice."

Everyone's jaw dropped.

(*Cues: Berserk - Monster*)

_**Wiz: Definitely not his best day.**_

"Gee ya think!?" All the girls yelled

_**After all that, Jaune dedicated his entire life to murdering Griffith as painfully and brutally as possible. While fighting demons on a daily basis as they are drawn to his brand like moths to a flame.**_

"Oh come on!" Velvet Yelled

(*Cues: Berserk - Blood and Guts (Passionate)*)

**Boomstick: But to do this, he needs the right tools for the job. He carries a belt of throwing knifes and a pouch of mini bombs even demons can't take.**

Wiz: He also received a new mechanical hand, which houses a flamethrower, repeater crossbow, and a hidden single shot cannon, perfect for blasting a demon's face off.

**Boomstick: Surprise, bitch!**

Everyone chuckled at Boomstick's joke.

**_Wiz: But none of that compares to Jaune's primary tool of destruction, the giant blade known as Dragonslayer._**

(*Cues: Berserk - Forces (God Hand Mix)*)

_After a single slash, a table is covered in blood and half of a man screams as he falls to the ground._

Ruby nearly ran down the hall until she was put back into her seat gently.

"No more of that!" Zex yelled as it slowly dawned on them

"How did we know we are pregnant!? We only each had one session!" Weiss yelled

"I created those when YANG wanted his kids. Meaning that it effected you because you ALSO wanted his kids. So it is basically stating early on if you are having his kids." Zex explained

"Oh no wonder you are not violently throwing us around like you usually do." Ruby said as she remembered what happened to Deadpool, Neptune, and Ironwood

"Yup and I only do that to certain people" Zex stated

**Boomstick: Massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough**

"NOT. A. WORD." Zex said as all the girls giggled pervertedly

**it's too big to be called a sword. More like a heap of raw iron. And it might just be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.**

"Oh yeah it was" Velvet said as Zex glared

"Maybe letting y'all have fun time with Jaune was a bad idea"

_**Wiz: Forged by the legendary hermit Godo, Dragonslayer was made to... well... slay a dragon. Unfortunately, it was laughed off as impossible to use by anyone.**_

**Boomstick: Except for Jaune!**

_**Wiz: Standing six and a half feet long and weighing over 400 pounds, the Dragonslayer is enormous. Though not unfeasible. In real life, the largest sword ever used in battle belonged to a Frisian freedom fighter and stood seven feet tall. Though it wasn't nearly as heavy, only 14 pounds.**_

**Boomstick: With a single swing of Dragonslayer, Jaune can cleave through a man wearing heavy armor. Along with his weapon, his horse, and any other people, animals, or demons that happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.**

Everyone was in awe of the sword.

_**Wiz: And after killing over a thousand demons - no, I did not stutter - Dragonslayer has bathed in so much demonic blood that it now resides in both the physical and astral planes of existence... somehow. Meaning it is capable of harming any supernatural beings.**_

**Boomstick: Even ghooooosts.**

"Awesome!" Ruby Yelled

"That also means Jaune could kill any Hunter with that sword." Zex said scaring everyone

"Never mind" Ruby said wondering what happened to Zex. He was more care free until today.

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

_**Wiz: Jaune is an absolute monster in combat. He can move faster than the eye can track, killed one hundred soldiers on his own in a single night, and once jumped into the mouth of a giant sea god, cut his way through it, and killed it within.**_

Jaune places his sword behind him.

_Zodd: You intend to gamble your life on a single strike?_

(*Cues: Berserk - Des Cambrioleurs!*)

**Boomstick: Jaune will do ANYTHING to defeat his foes, including jumping into fire or allowing himself to be impaled just to gain an advantage. And... somehow he always survives. He's fallen hundreds of feet, gotten stabbed through the face, taken one thousand supernatural punches at once, and even been run over by an... elf, fairy Mothra going supersonic speeds.**

"Your boyfriend is amazing!" Summer said

_**Wiz: But his disregard for his own safety can be costly. Honestly, the only reason he's still alive is sheer dumb luck and unstoppable willpower.**_

"Yup that sounds like Jaune" Yang said with a sigh

**Boomstick: And if Jaune isn't tough enough on his own, he wears the Berserker Armor, the most insane battlegear you've ever seen.**

_**Wiz: Activating the Berserker Armor seals off the wearer's nervous system, making him immune to pain and its natural inhibitions. This allows Jaune to fight at his fullest potential, boosting his power and speed at the risk of damaging his own body.**_

**Boomstick: With this armor, Jaune's sword swing is more powerful than a cannonball, so the force can break his own arm. But don't worry: the cursed berserker armor will literally rip and pierce his body to pin the bones and muscles back in place.**

"So he is invincible?" Weiss Asked

_**Wiz: Now don't get the wrong idea. The armor does not actually heal Jaune; it just holds him together. This is dangerous because, well, even though Jaune won't feel pain, that doesn't make him invincible.**_

"Never mind" Weiss said

**Boomstick: Plus, the berserker armor also kinda... forces Jaune to give in to his inner demons and lose all sense of morality and restraint, making him the most violent demon-killer ever.**

_**Wiz: Violent, and completely uncontrollable.**_

**Boomstick: Jaune is the embodiment of rage and the epitome of badassery. Believe me, the last thing you wanna do is get in this guy's way.**

_Jaune approaches knights, who panic at his mere presence._

_Jaune: My sword has gotten very dull. However, it's three times as thick and does three times the damage of a normal sword. You'd better pray you die quickly or this could be painful._

"And that is why he is one of the most respected men in all of universal history" Zex stated

* * *

"We all have faith in Jaune!" Ruby said before Zex could say anything.

* * *

Nightmare

(*Cues: Soul Calibur V - Legends Unveiled*)

_**Wiz: Long, long ago, transcending history and the world, an enormous sword was forged, designed to be the deadliest weapon on the battlefield.**_

**Boomstick: It was called Soul Edge and it was a beast! Gigantic, powerful... sexy.**

"you have were taste Boomstick" Pryhha said

_**Wiz: At a daunting six feet, one inch in length, no ordinary soldier could wield it... but those who could proved unstoppable.**_

**Boomstick: It left no survivors in its wake, just like my ex-wife at an all-you-can-eat buffet.**

"He really hates his wife doesn't he?" Summer Asked

"Yup" Zex stated as he sharpened a katana

_**Wiz: However, a great evil dwelled within the sword. After claiming victory upon victory and being bathed in the blood and hatred of countless foes,**_

(*Cues: Soul Calibur II - Hellfire*)

Wiz: a fire was born inside of Soul Edge.

**Boomtick: Literally, it's a demon made of freaking fire!**

_**Wiz: The demon Inferno had one purpose: to infect the world with evil and chaos, but in order to do this, he needed a warrior capable of wielding the true power of Soul Edge. He planned to possess this warrior and transform them into the azure-clad knight of darkness, Nightmare.**_

"That is one weird looking knight" Weiss said

"He is a demon Weiss." Zex deadpanned

(*Cues: Soul Calibur II - Eternal Struggle (Theme of Cervantes)*)

_**Wiz: Inferno's first victim came in the late 16th century when a pirate named Cervantes de León raided an English galleon and discovered the intriguing blade aboard, claiming it as his own.**_

**Boomstick: But as we know, this was no ordinary, flesh-covered sword with an eyeball. Inferno seized this opportunity and possessed the pirate,**

(*Cues: Soul Calibur II - Hubris*)

**Boomstick: testing his body by slaughtering the entire population of a Spanish port town. Talk about a test drive!**

"What!" They all yelled

_**Wiz: Unfortunately, while powerful, Cervantes was not the ideal vessel Inferno had sought.**_

**Boomstick: So he made him sit in that town until two chicks showed up, killed his ass, and somebody more powerful picked up the sword.**

"Asshole" Yang said through gritted teeth

_**Wiz: That someone was a knight named Siegfried and this was the body Inferno was looking for. Once Siegfried's hand touched Soul Edge, Inferno began eating away at his soul, torturing him endlessly and feeding on his fear and anger, transforming him into Nightmare.**_

(*Cues: Soul Calibur V - Chaos and Cosmos*)

_**Wiz: Nightmare was strong enough to threaten all of Europe, conquering whole armies and devouring thousands of innocent souls.**_

**Boomstick: If you haven't figured it out by now, Soul Edge is kind of like the Ring from Lord of the Rings... if it can cut people and hungered for souls.**

"I prefer the sword over the ring." Zex said as everyone hawked at him

"Why!?" Summer yelled

"Cause a sword that eats souls sounds so much cooler than a ring that makes you power hungry." Zex explained as he checked the edge on the katana

"Isn't that my sword?" Blake asked

"Nope, this one is mine" Zex said as he showed the guard that had a biohazard symbol on it.

"Oh" Blake said sheepishly "my bad"

"You good" Zex replied as he sheathed his katana

_**Wiz: However, Soul Edge's power was incomplete. At some point, it had been broken and shards of the demon sword had been scattered across the world. To unlock Soul Edge's true power, Nightmare set off to find the lost pieces of his sword and repair it.**_

"Classic story line" Blake said with an eye roll

**Boomstick: As Nightmare discovered each shard, the power of Soul Edge grew, and so did Nightmare's.**

(*Cues: Soul Calibur V - Lord Of Terror*)

**Boomstick: He can fight with numerous stances, channel fire and lightning through Soul Edge, and devour the souls of hundreds at once with Soul Wave.**

_Nightmare lifts his sword into the air._

_Nightmare: Watch this!_

_He channels Soul Wave as knights nearby are ensnared by the shockwave. From above, the devastation is massive._

"Z-Zex?" Ruby asked

"Yes?"

"C-Can you do that?"

"Ruby I can just not like that. I can't take souls of the innocent, my sword doesn't allow it. I'm mostly an executioner. I only take the souls of those who deserve to die. It's why I prefer apocalyptic worlds." Zex explained

"We didn't know that!" Summer yelled

"I'm on vacation from them" Zex said

"But you said you only had these powers for less than a year!" Weiss deadpanned

"I go by Zex the Executioner Weiss. So yeah I did have a job to do before I started doing this" Zex replied

(*Cues: Soul Calibur IV - Destiny Will Tell*)

_**Wiz: Despite Nightmare's evergrowing power, Siegfried constantly battled to free himself from Soul Edge's curse and eventually he succeeded. The two did battle atop of Ostrheinsburg Castle, but Nightmare's power was so great the entire structure was obliterated by a single swing of his vile blade.**_

**Boomstick: Just like a crazy ex-girlfriend, he figured if he couldn't have that body, no one can.**

"Sounds like Adam" Blake said with a sigh

_**Wiz: Soul Edge cannot be defeated by an ordinary blade. In fact, only one weapon has ever been able to harm it: a supposedly holy blade called Soul Calibur. Unknown to most, Soul Calibur is actually the final shard of Soul Edge, reforged into a second sword made specifically to combat its demonic counterpart.**_

**Boomstick: Poor guy. How would you feel if some asshole decided to make a weapon specifically designed to murder you?**

"Probably pissed off" Pryhha said

"Yup" Zex said

"Experience?" Summer asked

"You have no idea" Zex said with a sigh

(*Cues: Soul Calibur IV - Regin of Doom*)

**Boomstick: And it kept showing up everywhere.**

_**Wiz: Nightmare has come close to conquering the world on numerous occasions, yet a warrior wielding Soul Calibur always seems to show up and hold him at bay. While Soul Edge seems indestructible...**_

**Boomstick: ...apart from that pesky holy sword...**

_**Wiz: Inferno does require a mortal body to create Nightmare. Should Nightmare fall, Inferno can risk his own life by manifesting himself to protect Soul Edge, as his very existence is tied to the sword.**_

**Boomstick: But if Nightmare manages to absorb that final shard, Soul Edge and Nightmare will merge into their final form:**

(*Cues: Unknown Theme*)

**Boomstick: Night Terror, a larger, deadlier, fly-ier Nightmare.**

_**Wiz/Weiss: Fly-ier?**_

**Boomstick/Yang/Ruby: Yeah, when one gains the power of flying-ness? Duh.**

"All three of you are morons" Weiss said as she rubbed her temples

"Come on Weiss! We are just having some fun!" Ruby said as she giggled

_**Wiz: No matter the time, place, or vessel, few can match the vile trio of Soul Edge, Inferno, and Nightmare**_.

_Nightmare: Blood! Darkness! I shall drown the world in both!_

_"_and he is a generic villain" Yang said with a sigh

* * *

"Okay im guessing you all want Jaune to win?" Zex asked as they shook their heads

"Okay then" Zex said with a shrug

* * *

Death Battle

(*Cues: Tales of Souls And Swords - Soul Calibur II*)

**Nightmare is seen in a dark, bleak, lifeless forest and has gathered the pieces of Soul Edge.**

"Oh no he has all the pieces!" Ruby yelled

(*Cues: Slave of Desire - Soul Calibur II*)

**Nightmare raises his sword and the pieces fly onto it, transforming the blade into its true form.**

**_Nightmare: At last! At last the time has come!_**

"Jaune please don't let the world end." Yang said

**He is interrupted by a tree falling down towards him. The person who had cut down the tree was Jaune.**

"Yes! The our knight has arrived!" Weiss said happily

"Kick his butt Jaune!" Velvet and Pryhha yelled

(*Cues: Berserk - Et Voici Guts*)

**_Jaune: You're in my way, stand aside._**

**_Nightmare: Fool! Tremble in my darkness!_**

**FIGHT!**

(*Cues: Berserk - The Wrath of God (Part II)*)

**Jaune rushes towards Nightmare and the swords clash. After four clashes, Jaune manages to corners Nightmare into a large rock. Nightmare blocks another blow from Jaune's sword before leaping out of the way as Jaune cuts the rock. Shortly afterward, Jaune is kicked back by Nightmare.**

**_Nightmare: Pathetic!_**

"No you are!" Ruby yelled back making Zex sweatdrop

"Really Ruby? Really?" Zex Asked

**Jaune reels from the blows as Nightmare punches him, charges up his swing, and launches him high into the air. Nightmare proceeds to raise his sword and charges its power before releasing a large shockwave that knocks the descending Jaune far back, eventually slamming into a tree. Jaune sees Nightmare charging towards him and jumps to avoid Nightmare's swing, which cuts down the tree. The two clash and find themselves in a standstill.**

**_Nightmare: What's wrong? Weakling!_**

_"_No Jaune!" Pryhha yelled

**Nightmare takes a few steps forward, pushing Jaune back.**

**_Nightmare: Fear my wrath. Tremble in fe-_**

**Jaune headbutts Nightmare mid-taunt, knocking him backward**.

Everyone laughed.

**Shortly afterward, Nightmare lifts Soul Edge in the air and charges it with fire.**

**_Nightmare: Soul Calibur!_**

**He brings the fiery blade down as time slows. Jaune raises his mechanical arm as he remains in place, receiving a small cut on his face by the sword, allowing him to aim his mechanical arm in Nightmare's face. He then prepares his arm cannon, to Nightmare's surprise.**

"Yes!" Yelled the girls

**_Jaune: Die!_**

**The arm cannon fires in Nightmare's face, leaving a cloud of smoke in front of his head.**

"Take that you demonic bastard!" Yang yelled as Zex cleared his throat

"You are not a demon!" Yang exclaimed

"To you I am" Zex deadpanned

"_He has some serious issues! What happened to Mr. Happy go lucky?" _Weiss pondered

**Jaune places his arm back, then is shocked to see that with the smoke settling, Nightmare still had his head.**

**_Nightmare: Impressive._**

**Nightmare surrounds himself in a bright fire-light energy as Jaune braces himself. Nightmare is lifted into the air and his armor turns blood red and he grows fiery wings, becoming Night Terror. After stopping a blow from Jaune's sword, he charges and fires a large beam that knocks Jaune far through the forest, eventually crashing into a tree. Night Terror hovers toward him and fires two more beams at the reeling Jaune before stabbing Jaune into the tree.**

**_Night Terror: Burn!_**

"No! Jaune!" They all yelled

**He ignites his sword and then unleashes a large flaming attack that sends Jaune straight through the tree. Jaune shouts in pain as this occurs, afterward tumbling across the ground and crashing into a large rock. Night Terror points Soul Edge at Guts as he charges it up with fire.**

**_Night Terror: Burn in darkness._**

**Jaune fires arrows at his opponent with his mechanical arm, to which Night Terror summons a pillar of fire to block them. Jaune then jumps through the fire toward Night Terror, managing to cut off Night Terror's arm with Soul Edge in hand, sending them to the ground. The injured Night Terror stumbles back and falls into a crouched position as Jaune shouts before swinging his sword once more, cleaving Night Terror's head in half. Jaune removes his bloodied sword from the fallen Night Terror and starts walking away.**

**_Jaune: I told you to stay out of my way._**

"Yes Jaune won!" Velvet celebrated

"Wait for it" Zex said

(*Cues: Berserk - Griffith's Dream*)

**All of Night Terror's body except for his sliced off arm disappears into a shadowy smoke, to which Jaune stops in his tracks. Soul Edge floats upward into the air as Inferno emerges in a fiery blaze.**

**_Inferno: Darkness will consume everything..._**

**Inferno covers the battlefield in fire, severely injuring Jaune.**

"Oh come on!" Blake yelled angrily

**Jaune then activates his Berserker Armor and he charges at Inferno before leaping towards him. He strikes Inferno directly, resulting in Inferno and Soul Edge being cut in half. At its apex, Inferno ceases to be and all of the demonic energy has left Soul Edge. The fully-armored Jaune lands as the two halves of Soul Edge and a few shards fall to the ground as well.**

**KO!**

**Jaune repeatedly fires arrows from his mechanical arm at the powerless remains of Soul Edge**.

"That's overkill" Velvet said watching Jaune repeatedly firing arrows at the broken sword.

"Cant be to safe" Summer shrugged

* * *

Results

(*Cues: Berserk - Sign-2*)

**Boomstick: Hell yeah! Now that's what I call a swordfight! While Nightmare wields more power than Jaune, this is what Jaune does EVERY SINGLE DAY. He gets the shit kicked out of him trying to defeat gods and demons leagues above his abilities and still prevails.**

Wiz: It's true. All his-

**Boomstick: I mean THIS GUY lives in a world where giant monsters are trying to kill you, eat you, rape you, or all three at the same time! And that's just Monday.**

Everyone looked at Zex for confirmation. "Yup. That's kinda the gist of it"

Wiz: ...it's true. All his life, Jaune has had the odds stacked against him and yet he's still kicking while everything else is dead.

**Boomstick: "Ugh, but Wizard, I thought only Soul Calibur could destroy Soul Edge. Ergh..."**

"wait does that mean that Jaune should have lost!?" Weiss said screaming

Wiz: That's also true, in the Soulcalibur world. However, Inferno exists on an astral plane. If you recall, Jaune's sword Dragonslayer also exists on such a plane, leaving no question that it could destroy Soul Edge. Plus, his Berserker Armor bought him plenty of time to land the killing blow.

**Boomstick: Yeah, because it will literally let you fight on until all of your bones are shattered and the last drop of your blood is spilled.**

Everyone shook their heads in understanding.

Wiz: And it's not like Soul Edge was gonna have any luck tempting Jaune into picking it up and turning into another Nightmare. Not only has Jaune dealt with enough demonic shit to know that's a bad idea, he REALLY loves that Dragonslayer. He's not giving that up for anything.

**Boomstick: Jaune was just a whole 'nother caliber.**

Everyone, except Yang, Zex, and Ruby who were laughing, groaned

Wiz: The winner is Jaune.

* * *

Zex was about to walk out of the room until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Summer was standing right there with a worried look.

"Hey, are you okay?" She Asked

"I'm fine." Zex replied

"Really?" Weiss said skeptically "Because last I checked you are usually very loud and annoying. Not very reserved and quiet. And I don't remember you being so...?" She couldn't find the right word

"Gritty? Dark? Emo?" Ruby said

"Melancholy" Velvet said as she also realized that Zex was acting strange

"I'm a demon ladies. I've always have been. This episode just reminded me that I am one." Zex said as he shrugged Summer's hand off his shoulder

"Demons don't shake." Blake said "and last I checked they don't show love to anyone. If I remember all the stories correctly that is."

"Then you have yet to read the right stories" Zex said with a glare

"What is the matter with you!" Pryhha said as she walked up to him

"It's...personal" Zex said

"Where is your Niece by the way?" Ruby Asked

"With her grandmother" Zex replied

"Oh" Ruby said

"Zex you are no demon." Summer said "You are a man with anger that is all! Just gotta let it out in a healthy way is all."

"How? How'd you figure that out!" Zex asked dumbfounded

"Your reactions, from when you found out about Yang and Blake to your disdain of Gambino. That was what tipped me off." Summer said with a smile

Zex chuckled "I can't argue with you girls can I?"

"Nope!" They all said popping the P

"Well then. See y'all later." Zex said with a smile as he disappeared

Neptune walked in with a hangover. "Does anyone know where I can find a glass of water?"

As he asked that he was flinged into a pool that popped up out of no where. As he screamed like a little girl everyone came back in to the room.

"Did we miss anything?" Taiyang asked the screen started back up.

"Yeah I guess Zex will show you guys what you missed!" Ruby said as she hugged her dad

* * *

**Sorry about the weird change of tone guys. Just went threw a personal thing yesterday. Nothing bad! Just...a bit miffed at something. Anyway hop y'all enjoyed!**


	16. Jaune Vs Lobo

**LETS GET STARTED!**

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the amphitheatre waiting for Zex to return. While everyone was chatting with each other Neptune was sulking off in a corner.

"Sup guys!" Zex yelled while holding a random bag

"About time you got back" Winter said while cuddling up to Qrow

"I do have a life guys"

"Okay this is bullshit!" Neptune screamed grabbing everyone's attention

"Some guys get all the freaking luck. I get bullied while Jaune gets made the harem king."

Suddenly they heard the sound of lightning? They watched as papers came out of the bag Zex was carrying.

"OH OUM WHAT IS THAT!" Coco yelled as she pointed across the room

They saw as what appeared to a black hole began to form. It had lighting coming off of it like the fucking Terminator was coming. They watched as it slowly began to take shape. As they energy condensed they saw Dragon like eyes open as a shockwave knocked everyone, all those who were pregnant had a pillow pop up under them, as they saw the man.

He was wearing what appeared to be a teachers suit with spectacles on his face. He had red scales with a dragon like head. The papers from before took the form of books that were floating around him as he held a very angry glare.

"Who dared speak such sacrilege." Said the Dragon

"Welp, we've got company." Zex said with a smile

"Well?" The dragon said with a growl

Zex pointed at Neptune "He did it"

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!" Neptune yelled at Sex

"You brought this upon yourself" Zed said as he sat down in a lawn chair and started eating popcorn

The dragon like man suddenly conjures tendrils of arcane energy and uses them to lift Neptune into the air and slam him into the ground repeatedly.

"Ouch" Weiss said as she took a bite of popcorn

"Shouldn't you help him?" Summer asked feeling sympathy for Neptune

"Oh Yeah my job" Zex said as he threw a baseball bat to the drangon man "Use this!"

"Thanks!" He replied as he began to beat him down even more

_**THREE HOURS**__** LATER**_

Neptune was laying there in a bloody pulp as the dragon like man stood over his body

"There is only one Harem King in the entire multiverse, and it's not that man! No offence to his fans." He said as he looked at Zex

"None taken!" Zex said with a smile as he turned and looked at the audience "Allow me to introduce an entity like me, Composcreator!" Zex said with a chipperly

"Everyone said hello to Composcreator.

"Pleasure" He replied with a smile

"Care to join us?" Zex asked as Composcreator looked at him

"Will you show my personal favorite individual?" Composcreator asked

"Who is that?" Ruby Asked

"It must be this "Harem King" he got so angry about." Weiss said as Ruby nodded in agreement

"Eventually!" Zex aaid with a smile

"I can wait then" Composcreator said with am equally happy smile

"This is bullshit! I should be the Harem King!" Neptune stated as Composcreator picked him up and slammed him bavk down, at supersonic speeds with one of his Arcane tentacles.

"Nope that title is taken by the one true king!" Composcreator yelled as he slammed him down into the ground so hard Neptune went to the core of the earth. He pulled back his power as Zex snapped his finger and fixed up everything.

"You deserved that" Weiss said making Neptune sulk

* * *

_**INTRO**_

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

_**Wiz: Whether it be justice, vengeance, or the thrill of the kill, bounty hunting isn't for the faint of heart.**_

"Or for those squeemish about property damage. Some prefer the clean way, but others don't care about how much destruction they cause over one catch." Composcreator said

"Agreed, it's why I LOVE the Punisher!" Zex stated

"Who is the Punisher?" Yang Asked

"Ill show you later"

**Boomstick: Especially when your usual targets are superheroes.**

_**Wiz: The Ghost Rider, Marvel's relentless Spirit of Vengeance.**_

"Is that a flaming skeleton!?" Goodwitch asked

"Yes, Yes it is."

**Boomstick: And Lobo, the spacehoggin' main man of DC Comics. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

"He just screams trouble." Sun said

"Wait! Wasn't he mentioned in the other Death Battle?"" Blake Asked

"Oh yeah he was." Scarlet said surprised

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

* * *

_**GHOST RIDER (JAUNE)**_

**_Wiz: Even at a young age, Jaune Arc lived life on the edge. Son to the accomplished cyclist John Blaze, he was sadly witnessed to his father's death in a stunt gone wrong._**

**Boomstick: But he got adopted by another stuntman, Crash Bandicoo- uh sorry, I mean Qrow "Crash" Branwen. It's no surprise that Jaune became a stunt performer himself, until Qrow's wife died in a stunt gone wrong.**

**_Wiz: Only now apparently aware that motorcycles can be dangerous, Jaune swore to never perform again._**

"The human condition, realizing the truth only once it is too late." Composcreator said with an eye roll

"Hey sometimes it's funny, remember Jim Carrey?" Zex said with a laugh

**Boomstick: And then Qrow got cancer. Damn, even I don't have parent issues this bad.**

"That sucks" Taiyang said with sympathy

**_Wiz: Completely devastated, Jaune refused to let Qrow die. Willing to risk it all, he turned to the one person who could fix everything._**

**Boomstick: Everyone's favorite problem solver, Satan!**

"It's funny how he manages to get into every story, even the ones with aliens." Composcreator said with a confused look

"Well he is The Devil, so he really could give a shit less on who he takes a soul from" Zex replied

_(A circular window opens and Squirrely the Squirrel pops up.)_

_Squirrely: Hail Satan!_

"Why did the squirrel say "Hail Satan"?" Ruby asked

"Yes a new follower!" Satan yelled

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORY!" Zex yelled as he hit Satan with a giant cross

"Noooooooooo!" Satan yelled as everyone had their jaws drop

"Ruby's soul belongs to no one puta!" Zex yelled

_**Wiz: This was Mephistopheles, one of the many lords of Hell, who happened to have a special interest in Jaune's family line. To save Qrow's life, he cut a deal with the devil, curing the cancer at the cost of selling his soul. The deal succeeded, and Qrow was healed.**_

Everyone smiled.

"Wait for it" Composcreator said

_**But, then he died in, well, a stunt gone wrong.**_

"No Uncle Qrow!" Ruby yelled hugging Qrow

"NO!" Winter yelled crying into his chest

"I'm still here" Qrow said comforting Ruby and Winter

**Boomstick: I mean, he's a stuntman who's nickname is Crash. Shoulda seen it coming.**

"FUCK YOU BOOMSTICK!" Ironwood yelled

**And after all that, Jaune got stuck with being Mephisto's b*tch for eternity.**

**_Wiz: Mephisto even sandwiched him together with a demonic spirit of vengeance named Zarathos._**

**Boomstick: Zarathos, ask your doctor if it's right for you... or your exorcist.**

"There is nothing wrong with a little possesion here and there" Zex said as Neptune ran away from a clown with a flaming head.

**_Wiz: Long ago, Zarathos was a powerful demon who threatened Mephisto's realm. Eventually, Mephisto defeated him, forcing him into eternal servitude._**

**Boomstick: And with their power combined, Jaune and Zarathos roamed the world, punishing the wicked as the embodiment of a death metal album cover, the Ghost Rider.**

"This version anyhow. The good news is that they prefer to hunt down the souls of sinners." Stated Composcreator

"Well that's good." Summer said with a smile

_(We see Johnny's first transformation into the Ghost Rider from the 2007 film.)_

**Boomstick: Aaagh! Oh God, that's terrifying!**

**_Wiz: Well, sure, his visage instills fear onto many-_**

**Boomstick: What, no! Ghost Rider looks awesome! I'm talking about Nick Cage.**

_(We see Cage's depiction of Johnny continuing his demonic laugh.)_

"AH!" Zex screamed

"Why did You scream?" Nora Asked

"Cause I had nightmares about that happening to me" Zex said with a shiver

**_Wiz: Agreed. Anyway, as the Ghost Rider, he became one of the universe's greatest threats. He has superhuman strength and speed, and his skeletal body can regenerate from practically any amount of damage._**

_Popup: Daniel Ketch, another Ghost Rider, has regenerated his entire body from nothing but hellfire, proving complete immunity from physical damage._

**Boomstick: And if Arc's last name wasn't obvious enough, he can shoot fire! Oh, but not just any fire, hellfire. The best kind of fire.**

**_Wiz: The kind that's infused with magic that burns not just your flesh, but bypasses conventional defenses to attack your very soul. He can throw fireballs, raise walls of flame, rain fire from the sky, and even conjure weapons and objects out of thin air, such as a demonic shotgun and an infinite stream of chains._**

**Boomstick: And his bad-ass ride, the Hell Cycle! This baby can look however Jaune wants, but he usually summons it as a Panhead Chopper.**

"A classical look. One you can never go wrong with." Composcreator said with a smile

"I can never find a good hell cycle anywhere!" Zex said with a sigh

Composcreator looked at him like he was an Idiot "You go to hell to buy them remember"

"Oh yeah" Zex said as everyone sweatdropped

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**Boomstick: It can respond to Jaune's thoughts, scale walls, and even outrace Thor's hammer, Mjolnir.**

**_Wiz: The same hammer that crossed a galaxy and back in a single minute._**

**Boomstick: Y'know, I lit my chopper on fire once.**

**_Wiz: I didn't know you had a motorcycle._**

**Boomstick: Well, yeah, up... until the fire.**

**_Wiz/Weiss/Yang/Winter/Goodwitch: Uh... oh._**

**Boomstick: Rest in peace, Roadhog. Least you went out in a blaze of glory, like Bon Jovi said.**

**_Wiz: But while his hellfire and chains are vicious weapons in their own right, they're often used to ensnare the Ghost Rider's victims as he goes in for a truly diabolical kill, or should I say, a "penance."_**

**Boomstick: The Penance Stare is basically hell's time out corner of pain. Ghost Rider isn't angry, he's just disappointed, and he wants you to think about what you've done, and it to hurt, A LOT.**

"He's not my dad" Zex said

"REALLY! YOU ARE GONNA MAKE THAT JOKE!" Ironwood Yelled

"What joke?" Zex asked

**_Wiz: Under the Penance Stare, the Ghost Rider forces you to relive all the pain and misery you've inflicted on others throughout your entire life. No indiscretion, no matter how minor, is safe from the Ghost Rider's gaze._**

**Boomstick: So that time I put ground laxatives in my fourth grade math teacher's coffee and gave her the shits, does that mean the stare would give my soul the shits too?**

"No, it means your soul literally is set on fire and you burn from the inside out" Zex explained

"That's scary" Goodwitch said scared

"Huh so you do have fears." Zex said shocked

**_Wiz: Not literally, but you would experience the anger, humiliation, and the butt cramps._**

**Boomstick/CRDL: So, basically eternal damnation, got it.**

**_Wiz: But should your sins be so numerous and terrible, the Penance Stare could even obliterate your soul, leaving you an empty husk._**

_Popup: The Penance Stare's success ultimately relies on Ghost Rider's own judgement. It has also been used for other purposes. For example, Deadpool "survived" it because Ghost Rider only used the Stare to show him how to rethink his life choices._

**Boomstick: The stare doesn't work on everybody, though. You might survive if you're blind, don't have a soul, draw power from pain, or if you're a weirdo like Thanos who gets off on that shit. **

"There's always something" Composcreator said with a tired sigh

"Hey do you think it would work on us?" Zex asked

"Probably on you." He replied

**Still, Ghost Rider's grab bag of hell powers let him tear up some of the biggest assholes in the world, and even some of the good guys, like Hulk, Thor, and Doctor Strange.**

**_Wiz: He's quick enough to dodge bullets or even outright catch them in his teeth. He's powerful enough to create massive eruptions, blow up mountains, and even tear down a skyscraper. The average skyscraper weighs over 200,000 tons. That's the same weight as 1,100 blue whales._**

"Damn this Arc is durable" Winter said shocked

**Boomstick: Or one ex-wife! (chuckles) Oh, I'm gonna write that on her next alimony check.**

"And you wonder why no woman in any world wants to date you" Ozpin said surprising everyone

"DAMN!" Zex yelled with wide eyes

**_Wiz: And given his hellish heritage, he's rather difficult to kill._**

**Boomstick: Bullets, poison, fire, he's survived it all. Even a beatdown from World War Hulk just got him even more pissed and extra flamey.**

_**Wiz: Not just that. Remember Zarathos? Jaune Arc isn't simply a host for the demon, but a limiter for his full power. Throughout his life as the Rider, Jaune has constantly battled Zarathos in the mind, barely holding on to some semblance of sanity. Should his will to resist the demon falter, Zarathos can take full control, and all hell breaks loose. Not literally, but pretty close.**_

**Boomstick: Oh, and plot twist, Zarathos was never actually a demon at all, but an angel of justice, fire skull head and everything! When he's unleashed, he becomes so powerful, even Doctor Strange wets his robes, and this is the guy who pops supernovas like Pez.**

"I don't think that's a good comparison" Ruby said

**_Wiz: While Zarathos was bonded to another host, they even managed to defeat Mephisto in his own realm. For reference, Mephisto once battled Galactus, devourer of worlds. Stars detonated, galaxies trembled, and the entire universe was at risk, simply as a byproduct of their battle._**

"THEY ARE THAT POWERFUL!?" Ironwood yelled

_Popup: The new host, Alejandra, required Adam's help in unlocking her full power against Mephisto. This did not amplify or increase said power, merely draw out what she had suppressed. Therefore, this level of power is accessible to all Ghost Riders._

**Boomstick: And if Zarathos wasn't terrifying enough, he likes to eat souls.**

"Mmmm souls like Ma use to make" Zex said scaring everyone except Composcreator

_**Wiz: Of course, the Ghost Rider isn't invincible. Jaune is technically vulnerable as an ordinary human being. Even while transformed, the Rider can be killed via holy weaponry.**_

**Boomstick: But Jaune's doin' alright, sittin' pretty on Mephisto's throne. I guess things worked out okay for him, even if he's not too keen on being the devil's bounty hunter.**

_**Wiz: So let this be a warning. Should you ever hear the rumble of a motorcycle in the distance, and the glow of an ethereal flame on the horizon, count your sins, because the Ghost Rider is coming, and may God have mercy on your soul.**_

_Ghost Rider: Sorry. All outta mercy..._

_(He proceeds to use his chains on Gressil, burning him alive and reducing him to dust.)_

* * *

_**LOBO**_

_**Wiz: Let's turn the clocks back to a distant era of sin and debauchery.**_

**Boomstick: The 1990s.**

"How bad were the 90s?" Summer asked as Ozpin went on a nostalgia trip

_**Wiz: Inspired by the financial success of Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns, comic writers started churning out grim and gritty superheroes by the dozen, like Cable, Azrael, and Overkill.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, they were badass lookin'...at first, but I mean, what's even happening here?**

"Sometimes I look through human history and wonder what the fuck were they thinking." Composcreator said

"Why does he look like that?" Summer asked

"Don't ask us! Ask the guys who were making that shit!" Zex said with a shrug

_(Captain America's Heroes Reborn design is shown)_

**_Wiz: It got so absurd, that someone needed to knock these roided-out monstrosities down a peg._**

**Boomstick: The world needed a hero. No, a parody.**

"Dear God" Zex said in a Soldier costume

_**Wiz: Enter the planet Czarnia. Once the brightest beacon of peace and happiness in the universe, until its inhabitants were annihilated by a biological catastrophe, leaving only one survivor, the last son of Czarnia; Lobo.**_

"So he is the only survivor of his home planet" An Ren said sad

**Boomstick: The one that killed all the rest of 'em. A guy whose name literally translates in Czarnian to "He who devours your entrails and thoroughly enjoys it." What?! Awesome! Why wasn't I named that?**

**"I have a bad feeling about this" Li Ren said nervously**

_**Wiz: Lobo is so unimaginably evil, that his birth caused the midwife who delivered him to go insane. The first Czarnian to do so in 10,000 years.**_

**Boomstick: Some even think that Czarnia was so perfect and good, the universe made Lobo to balance things out. Hey, didn't you say the same thing about me when we first met, Wiz?**

**_Wiz: That I did. Simply put, Lobo was...unique and desired to be even more so. Thus, he ensured he was the only Czarnian alive in the universe._**

_Lobo: I fragged the rest of the planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an A._

"He did what now" Weiss said with wide eyes

**Boomstick: Yeah, he's definitely insane...ly awesome!**

**_Wiz: Lobo left the desecrated corpse of his former home to become a bounty hunter. Probably because it's the only profession that legally allows him to murder._**

_Popup: To top it off, his insanity wasn't helped by the micro-radio implanted into his brain that constantly played heavy metal._

**Boomstick: Ah, don't worry, he'll murder you illegally, too. Lobo doesn't discriminate. He even has a special gender-neutral insult and the name of my next motorcycle; Bastich.**

"Considering the way humans get upset over the smallest detail, this is rather ingenious. It's amazing how eager humans are to find ways to insult each other" Composcreator said with a sigh

"We are not that bad!" Yang said

"Great. War." Zex stated

_(Sunny Jim fires a bazooka at Lobo and totals the Spacehog behind him)_

_Lobo: My bike! Fraggin' Bastich!_

**Boomstick: Anyway, Lobo's bagged some pretty crazy bounties across the universe, including Santa Claus, two near-omnipotent dwarf gods, and even things that don't exist, apparently.**

**_Wiz: And Lobo's Czarnian physiology is just as absurd to match. He possesses god-like strength, speed, and invulnerability, so much so that he can tear through hordes of superheroes like nothing. Should he somehow suffer damage, he also has an impressive healing factor._**

**Boomstick: He's like if Superman and Deadpool had a baby, which is a lot more terrifying when I say it out loud.**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick, who see Deadpool appearing on their screen.)

**Deadpool: Did somebody say "Deadpool"?**

**Boomstick/Audienece: AAAH!**

**_Wiz/Goodwitch: NO, GO AWAY!_**

(He yells and punches the screen, cracking it, panting heavily afterwards.)

_**Wiz: There, he's gone, whew.**_

**Boomstick: Wow, I didn't think you had it in ya.**

"Neither did I." Cardin said in surprise

(The lights dim.)

**Deadpool: Oh honey, that's not true. Haven't you heard? No one's ever REALLY gone... See ya later!**

(The lights return to normal.)

_**Wiz: I swear to God, I'll kill him someday.**_

**Boomstick: So, uh, you had the replacement plan on that TV, right?**

Everyone laughed at Wiz's face.

_**Wiz: Ahem, back on topic, Lobo can regenerate from a single drop of blood, and each one he sheds will actually grow into a completely new Lobo. No, I'm not making that up.**_

_Popup: This self-cloning-via-blood ability was later removed by Vril Dox. However, it's an ability that naturally belongs to Lobo. Following Death Battle Rule #3, this power is included in this analysis._

**Boomstick: No wonder there wasn't any war on Czarnia, nobody can kill these friggin bastiches!**

**"No they can die it's just really fucking hard to do so" Zex stated**

**_Wiz: It also helps that he's also a super-genius who knows well over 17,000 languages. He can perform complex physics equations in his head quick enough to catch The Flash, and can build planet-destroying weaponry out of garbage._**

"Such is the fate of those with great minds. They either collapse under their own greatness, or turn to entertaing themselves with any means necessary." Said Composcreator with a sad look

"Yeah it is" Zex said with a sad smile remembring all the great minds

**Boomstick: His brain is no joke. He can resist mind because he's too...ornery, and he's got so much willpower, he can literally walk right through Green Lantern constructs. **

Everyone laughed at the Green Lanterns face.

**You know, those things POWERED BY willpower?**

**_Wiz: And befitting his occupation, Lobo is a master sharpshooter, tracker, and can, by his own admission, deduce the weak point in any opponent._**

**Boomstick: Ah, like how my shotgun leg jams if booze gets in it.**

_**Wiz/Winter: I would've gone with your crippling alcoholism, but sure, that too.**_

"Damn y'all hate Broomstick" Zex said as he drank a Dr. Pepper

**_Lobo may be a powerhouse on his own, but he also comes equipped with guns, knives, swords, grenades, and a bomb that he sent back in time, which accidentally killed the dinosaurs. Whoops!_**

_Popup: He technically possesses a Red Lantern ring, but there is no evidence that he ever used it, and it cannot be extraneously assumed he is capable of wielding it._

**Boomstick: His favorite is his enormous hooked chain. But when his job takes him across the universe, he hops on his Spacehog, a customized SpazFrag666, which has automatic machine guns, responds to his whistle, can fly fast enough to escape black holes, and blasts (singing) Born to Be Wild! Wait wait wait, how can he sing in the vacuum of space?**

"Now i want that bike!" Yang yelled

_"In your garage with Bumblebee"_ Zex said in the telepathically

_"Yes! Wait what about Jaune?"_

_"He has the Hell Cycle"_

**_Wiz: Oh, that's where you're drawing the line? Not the time he, say, pulled the alien entity Solaris out of the sky, which is as heavy as a star, despite lacking leverage?_**

**Boomstick: I like how he even admits that didn't make any sense.**

**_Wiz: Using a small to a medium-size star like our own sun as a reference, Solaris should weigh nearly two octillion tons, over three hundred thousand times heavier than Earth._**

**Boomstick: So, pretty tough to bench press. But how about the time he was fighting some rabbits, and then he got so face-meltingly angry, that he just straight up ate a city! All at once! Disclaimer: Don't eat away your feelings, it's not healthy. Drink them away instead!**

**_Wiz: Don't do that. But that is trillions of tons of steel and rubble condensed into a sphere smaller than the palm of his hand. By my calculations, that compressed ball should be over 20 times denser than a neutron star._**

**Boomstick: Oh God, imagine that coming out!**

"Thanks Boomstick for that horrific image" Velvet said with a wince

**_Wiz: This unimaginable strength lets him brawl with the likes of Superman, but that's barely scratching the surface._**

**Boomstick: Name anybody in DC Comics, and it's likely Lobo's kicked their ass. He can even punch ghosts! Sounds like the only thing that can kill this guy is an act of God!**

**_Wiz: Not even that. After rampaging through heaven and hell, tearing through armies of angels, demons, and what have you, Lobo's bloodlust on a literally biblical scale got him banned from the afterlife. As in, Death was told that Lobo's soul was not to be collected._**

**Boomstick: So, he just can't die now?**

**_Wiz: Not in the traditional sense. He's had his head disintegrated, been reduced to a skeleton, even been turned into a spirit that just kept on fighting until he got his body back._**

**Boomstick: The only thing that's ever really held the big lug back is his weirdly consistent integrity? Namely, he'll always keep his word, no matter what. Seems pretty weird for a cosmic madman, but he also loves dolphins and will literally go to hell and back to protect them, so, who even knows anymore?**

**_Wiz: He's not without his failures, though. His greatest of which was perhaps something entirely out of his control: His reboot._**

**Boomstick: What the hell is that scrawny, emo, Edward Cullen-ass lookin' dork?**

**_Wiz: That's New 52 Lobo, a serious, tortured, modern interpretation. Everything that Lobo was meant to be a parody of._**

**Boomstick: Thankfully, someone at DC developed a sense of irony and literally shelved this loser.**

_**Wiz: The real Lobo returned, better than ever, and got back to doing what he does best.**_

**Boomstick: Kickin' ass across the universe! He's not just some two-bit alien villain. He's the Main Man, and the whole universe knows it.**

_Lobo: See, someone's payin' me a heap of cash for your carcass, and the Main Man always delivers._

* * *

_**VOTES**_

Lobo-CRDL, SSSN, Ironwood, and CFY

Ghost Rider (Jaune)-RWBY, NPR, Li Ren, An Ren, Goodwitch, Ozpin, Taiyang, Summer, Qrow, Winter

* * *

_**DEATH BATTLE**_

**In the desert, Lobo straps his latest bounty kill, a Grimace-like alien, to his Spacehog with his chains before abruptly noticing a figure riding a motorcycle in the distance.**

**_Lobo: Huh? What the frag?_**

"Zex, from now on you will say that!" Summer and Ruby stated

"No" Zex replied

(*Cues: Ride into Hell - Brandon Yates featuring Jonny Atma*)

**The figure reveals itself to be the Ghost Rider who proceeds to stop his Hell Cycle and speak to Lobo.**

**_Ghost Rider: Lobo of Czarnia, your sins are innumerable. I am here to-_**

**Lobo ignores this warning and carelessly runs Ghost Rider over, laughing and giving his adversary a middle finger while smashing his Hell Cycle into pieces.**

Everyone looked at Cardin.

"What?" He asked

**However, both the cycle and Ghost Rider regenerate in a blaze of hellfire before engaging in a chase after the Main Man.**

**Ghost Rider begins the fight firing volleys of fireballs at Lobo, with one of them incinerating the Czarnian's bounty. Lobo becomes enraged and swiftly drifts his Spacehog to face Ghost Rider, all the while swinging his chain in fury.**

**_Lobo: Fetal's Gizz, my bounty! I'm gonna skull-frag ya!_**

**Ghost Rider summons his own chain in response, dragging it along the rough sand before the two cyclists repeatedly clash their weapons. Lobo gains the upper-hand as his hook shatters his opponent's blazing chain and pierces Ghost Rider in the chest. Lobo then drags the Spirit of Vengeance close and knocks him to the ground before dragging him onto his bike and looking him in the face.**

**_Lobo: You're one ugly freak..._**

_"_Wait till you meet The Predator" Zex said with a laugh

**However, the Ghost Rider holds onto Lobo and uses the Penance Stare.**

_**Ghost Rider: Look into my eyes, your soul will burn in He-**_

**Lobo interrupts Ghost Rider by headbutting him, destroying his skull in the process.**

_**Lobo: Is that a fact now?**_

"Yes" Said Jaune's team

**Ghost Rider responds by summoning his Hell Cycle, which rams right through the Spacehog and takes the fighters into a nearby city. The two bikers crash through a building and Ghost Rider swiftly lands on the road while Lobo is knocked back.**

**The Main Man gets on his feet only for Ghost Rider to punch him in the face. The two anti-heroes engage blows in a brief fistfight which ends in Ghost Rider uppercutting Lobo away yet again only for the Main Man to land safely on his feet. Seeing this, Johnny decided to switch things up.**

**_Ghost Rider: Burn!_**

**With that command, the Spirit of Vengeance spews out a beam of hellfire from his mouth at the Main Man, who tanks it head on and powers through it, walking towards his attacker. Lobo then grabs Johnny by the throat slams him on the ground and drags him along the street's pavement before throwing him into the same building they previously crashed through.**

**Lobo then jumps to the building and starts tearing it down and compressing it into a small pebble which he holds between his fingers.**

**_Lobo: Bottoms up!_**

**And with those words, Lobo tosses the pebble into his mouth and swallows it alongside the Ghost Rider. Lobo then takes a second to relax after supposedly defeating his opponent, but instead burps up a stream of hellfire. Lobo holds his hand over his mouth before his body swells up and bursts in an explosion of blood and fire, releasing Ghost Rider.**

**_Ghost Rider: It's done. About time._**

**But as he's about to leave, the Ghost Rider hears a familiar voice behind him.**

**_Lobo: Not yet, scuzball!_**

**Suddenly, Ghost Rider is hit with a powerful kick in the back, followed by an uppercut to the face. It's revealed that all the piles of blood from his opponent have regenerated into an army of Lobos who laugh at the Spirit of Vengeance before body piling him.**

"That's so unfair!" Ruby Yelled

"Its a Death Battle Rubes" Yang stated

**However, they're all knocked away by a pillar of spiritual fire, from which Zarathos emerges.**

**_Zarathos: You will all die SCREAMING!_**

"Huh that sounds like Zex when he is angry" Blake said

**Zarathos summons a flood of enchanted hellfire which knocks away all of the Lobos, except for one which whips out a large gun and aims it at the Spirit of Vengeance.**

**_Lobo: Eat this, ya Bastich!_**

**Lobo fires the gun at Zarathos, who replies by launching a blast of hellfire at the Main Man before the gun's blast fires right through his chest. The hellfire blast hits Lobo and causes an explosion visible from space which obliterates most of West China. The camera zooms back to Earth as Lobo's spirit emerges from the ashes.**

**_Lobo: Holy fragaroli, I definitely ain't picking up that bounty now._**

**Suddenly, a chain emerges from behind and pierces Lobo through the chest. The attacker is revealed to be Zarathos, who's been reduced to nothing but a flying skull after the explosion. The Spirit of Vengeance then screams at Lobo as more and more chains appear to drag the Main Man at his doom while Zarathos restores his full body.**

**_Zarathos: LOBO OF CZARNIA! YOUR SINS ARE INNUMERABLE!_**

**Zarathos then grabs Lobo by the chin and hold him right in front of his face.**

**_Zarathos: I AM HERE TO WREAK VENGEANCE UPON YOUR SOUL!_**

**Zarathos then uses the Penance Stare, and with no way to break out of it, Lobo is caught in the attack.**

**_Lobo: No, no, no, NO, NO, NOOO!_**

**Lobo screams in pain as the gravity of his countless sins finally hit him and allows the Spirit of Vengeance to eat his soul. Zarathos then stands in victory and burps.**

**KO!**

* * *

**_RESULTS_**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick, with both of them wearing the new Death Battle t-shirts.)

**Boomstick: Damn! That was toasty! Wonder what ghost Lobo tastes like.**

_**"He taste like chicken" Zarathos said as he walked by the Audience**_

"Oh Yeah last night was poker night" Zex said forgetting Zarathos came over to play poker

_**Wiz: Being so absurdl**_y**_ powerful, Lobo definitely held a massive physical advantage against the Ghost Rider._**

**Boomstick: Yeah yeah, that was obvious. Skullhead took down a skyscraper while Lobo dragged around a freaking sun! But Ghost Rider's survived some really incredible things. Almost as incredible as these new shirts from .-**

(Wiz slaps Boomstick.)

**_Wiz: Time and place, Boomstick._**

**Boomstick: Ah, come on, we gotta eat!**

"The life of a YouTuber is very merch pluggable now a days" Zex said with a sad smile

_**Wiz: Even World War Hulk couldn't finish him off! And Lobo didn't typically carry any holy weapons, which meant he really did not have a good way of killing the Ghost Rider.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, but who needs holy weapons when you're strong enough to crush a whole city? Couldn't he just overpower Jaune?**

**_Wiz: A good question, however, do you recall how powerful Zarathos was? Zarathos was an equal threat to Mephisto, whose battles tore apart the universe. Once the Ghost Rider released his true power, Lobo's physical advantages hardly mattered anymore._**

_Popup: Doctor Strange, a being of universal power, was utterly terrified by Zarathos' true might, making this scaling supported and consistent._

**Boomstick: But, hey, the Main Man was super smart, and probably could've figured out Jaune's weaknesses. But how is he gonna escape to find a holy weapon somewhere when the Hellcycle outraced Mjolnir?**

**_Wiz: Which once crossed the Milky Way and back in under a minute, a feat more than 100 billion times faster than light, more than capable of keeping up with the Spacehog._**

"Damn that bike is fast!" Blake said in shock

_Popup: Based on feats Lobo's own combat speed was greater than Ghost Rider's. However, greater speed alone was not enough to ultimately survive Zarathos._

**Boomstick: They were both as unkillable as you can get. But since Lobo was banned from the afterlife, how could he ever lose?**

**_Wiz: This is where the fine print matters. Death was banned from reaping Lobo's soul, but that doesn't mean the soul itself could not be destroyed. This is where our research surprised us the most. It turns out that Ghost Rider had three different methods of specifically targeting Lobo's soul._**

"Wait what?!" Lobo's voters yelled

_Popup: It has been said that the only being capable of truly killing a Ghost Rider is the one true God, further supporting said resistance to anything but outright holy damage._

**Boomstick: His hellfire could hurt the soul directly, and since it ignores normal defenses, Lobo couldn't really stop it.**

_**Wiz: With trillions of murders in Lobo's hands, the Penance Stare could wield extraordinary power against him. And while Lobo had a high pain tolerance, he did not enjoy fatalistic agony and unending torture so much that he'd survive all of that at once.**_

_Popup: The Punisher famously survived the Penance Stare due to having no regrets. This is inconsistent with its power, and it's more likely Ghost Rider decided to let him live. The Penance Stare even worked on the Punisher in a later story._

**Boomstick: Even if he did, Zarathos could just gobble up his soul for a quick snack. The end, easy as that.**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.)

_**Wiz: Lobo was undeniably a difficult opponent to take on, but the Ghost Rider's cosmic might, unholy invulnerability, and soul rending powers gave him the perfect tools to take out the Main Man**_.

**Boomstick: That poor Bastich didn't stand a _ghost_ of a chance! Ah-hah sorry, I know that's a _"Lobo"_.**

(Wiz facepalms.)

Everyone groaned at the Pun except Taiyang, Zex, and Yang who were laughing.

_**Wiz: The winner is Ghost Rider.**_

* * *

"Well, that was entertaining. What do you have planned next?" Composcreator asked as he looked at Zex

"Wait, you are gonna actually gonna stay?" Blake asked

"Until the host asks me to leave or I see myself out, yes." Composcreator said

"Well until next time y'all!" Zex said grabbing Composcreator and disappearing

"Fuck those guys!" Neptune yelled not noticing Ghost Rider and Lobo right behind him

"Well, well, well, looks like we have a tough guy here." Lobo said cracking his knuckles and making Neptune them around in fear

"Neptune of Haven Academy, I have come to claim judgement on your soul!" Ghost Rider said as they both dragged him off into another room

* * *

_**Hope y'all enjoyed! I would like to thank Composcreator for joining me in this story! He does amazing work go check him out! I mean it! I recommend his Nosferatu Arc! It's amazing! Well see y'all later!**_


	17. All Might vs Jaune Might Guy Arc

**LETS DO THIS! **

* * *

Everyone was waiting for Zex and CC, they decided to shorten it, to return. Ironwood had went into town for some supplies while Glynda was with Ozpin looking for Salem. Winter and Qrow had decided to go on a date in Vale. Coco and Fox ended up going off to have "alone time" while Yastuyashi went to a certain Mountain town to meet with someone Zex told him about. CRDL was working out with Jaune and Li and An Ren went back to their village to see if there was anything new there.

"I still can't believe we are all pregnant now!" Weiss yelled after Nora told them all about the pregnancy test

"Zex said that unlike other "editors" he is more of a combatant. Something tells me that he prefers to fight than just sit around watching worlds." Summer said while cuddling up to Taiyang

"But that still does bring up a big question. Why is he the way he is the way he is? Its clear that his friend is far more experienced than him and tends to be...more mentally put together." Yang said shocking everyone

"Since when could you be smart?" Velvet teased

"I can be smart when I want to be, I just prefer the more simple approach." Yang said with a shrug

"Okay but what happened to Neptune?" Ruby asked

"Well we saw that he was dragged off by Ghost Rider and Lobo maybe he is with them?" Nora said

* * *

Neptune was tied to a tree as an apple sat on his head with Lobo holding a throwing knife.

"Now hold still!" Lobo said as he threw it and hit the apple

Somehow Neptune got lose and ran for his life.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BASTICH!" Lobo yelled

Neptune was running when suddenly a spear came out of nowhere had landed right in his leg. He screamed as he looked down at his leg and use both his hands to gesture at the spear in his right leg. Then another one came and landed in his left as he did the same. He switched between each leg and when he finally opened his arms wide open he looked up to see Ghost Rider coming at him and decking him in the face HARD.

"Nice one Rider!" Lobo said with a laugh as they dragged Neptune off to God knows where

* * *

"Knowing him he will be fine." Sun said as he walked away with his team

"Where are you going?" Taiyang asked

"Oh we are going out for a while. Something tells me that the next world is gonna be a bit better for you guys to see first." Sun explained

"Or the Author is sending you away because he needs a good reason to cut down the cast for this reality so he doesn't have to keep remembering all the names after each chapter" Nora said as it confused everyone

"Okay well see you guys later!" Sun said as he and his team walked out

Suddenly they can hear Neptune being tortured behind a door by Lobo and Ghost Rider

"I feel so bad for him. He is constantly being attacked" Velvet said with hear ears dropping

"Well maybe there is a reason Neptune is like that?" Ruby said

"We're back!" Zex said as he and Compostcrator walked in

"What took you so long" Blake asked

"We were discussing other options for you to look at in the future." Composcreator or CC said

"Sweet" said Yang

"I personally am a fan of some rather unique versions of Jaune that would seem out of character to you." CC said

"But totally hilarious." Zex said with a laugh

"Indeed. Shall we move on?" CC asked

"Wait don't you want to stop what's going on to Neptune?" Velvet asked

"Why should we?" Zex asked

"Because I'm surprised you hate Neptune so much and I think he has had enough" Velvet said

"Well that version of him is pretty much a giant fuckboy" CC stated

Record Scratch

"Wait what?" Weiss asked shocked

"There are versions of Neptune who are extremely kind and generous. They were known to not only help you guys in the long run but also aid Jaune in becoming the most Badass huntsman of all time! Yet there are versions of him, like this one, who are completely so drawn to just being a womanizer to just get laid! It's why if it was a different version of Neptune I would honestly not really care as he would be sitting in his seat being very respectful. It was just unfortunate that your world ended up having a version like him." Zex explained

"Wait I know these are other worlds but...what about yours? Is there multiple versions of yours?" Weiss asked

"We honestly have no clue." CC started "There are so many universes that we cannot comprehend our own. Remember where if a universe exists there is an alternant version of it. We just can not peer into ours. If we could we would be most likely visiting them far more often. "The Original" is where all your universes come from. From your prime universe to the alternants. We can show you them but you can never see them without our help. Its why we can only theorize about our own reality but can view into other ones. Just that people form ours can leave and show different universes possible universes or futures."

Zex continued "Yet we do have people like me who prefer to be more of a direct force in other universes. Where ever I go my presence alone can cause personalities to shift to random changes in their mood. For example, Weiss here would have never tried to seduce Jaune the way she did if she wasn't exposed to me for so long. It's why Ruby tends to have a bit of a yandere streak as well. We can have certain effects on other realities to the point that we can completely change it. It's why some versions of Jaune are abandoned by his family and friends. It's why he can die a hero, villain, monster, demon, angel, devil, the list goes on. Yet it's why I'm here honestly. You are my variant of the prime universe as such I can change it for the better. It's why in your universe he is far more respected even though inevitably he will have two out comes."

"Two outcomes?" Pyrrha asked nervously

"so far there have only been two outcomes. In one of these universes he becomes a U.S. Marine and comes home with SEVERE Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. While it doesn't seem to be bad it's because he is slowly beginning to relax and as such once that happens...he will well start to need far more help than any other man in remnant. In another one he is secretly trained by someone you all have seen before." Zex said

"Who was it?" Summer asked

"_**AZAZEL.**_" Zex said as they all gasped "Jaune is trained by him with only three true friends left. He becomes very vengeful and doesn't truly care for anyone who he goes head to head with. While I haven't checked in on that reality in a while I know that it's future will get gruesome fast. Just know this much, what we are showing you is possible futures and when I discovered all this began to happen I realized that once this **IS **all said in done you will keep your memories and as such anything you have seen."

"Wait does that mean Azazel exists in our world?" Taiyang asked nervously remembering what he said

"Azazel is considered a myth in that reality and was never mentioned because they all thought it was a story to just hype up Ironwood. He was known for being the man who ripped off his arm and making him the cyborg you see today. It's completely unknown to me at this moment if he exist in your verison." Zex stated as CC looked at him like he was an idiot "What?"

"You do realize you told them that you have two possible realities of them and that you can **POSSIBLY **change their future." CC stated with an eye twitch

"Dah shit" Zex said as he was tackled by Nora

"You will make sure Jaune-Jaune won't become like him r-right?" Nora said nervously

"While I could do that I can't change EVERYTHING. I can only influence it to a certain degree. I'm not as powerful in that area as say CC over there." Zex said gesturing over to Composcreator "If I could I would completely erase The Brother Gods and make them REGRET ever being born! I can only do all this thanks to the fact I have a medium I can connect through, AKA Jaune, he allows me to edit the world as I please. Composcreator can show up anywhere he wants while I can only really cause chaos. If I wanted to I would make sure all of you end up with a happy ending. Too bad that I need a medium for now." Zex explained

"Okay while that is good to know can you please stop the screaming! It's starting to hurt my head!" Yang yelled as CC levitated Nora off of Zex and to her husband

"Might as well." Zex said with a sigh

"Agreed. I prefer to limit the screams to one team walked out." CC said as he snapped Neptune back into existance

"FINALLY!" Neptune yelled as he was suddenly punched in the gut by Zex

"Imma plant me a dumbass tree!" Zex yelled as he punched him into the ground

"Why me!" Neptune yelled in despair

* * *

**INTRO **

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

**Boomstick: Let's be real, superheroes with super strength are like rabbits. They're everywhere.**

"That's one way of putting it" CC said as Zex nodded in agreement

"Yeah they can be a pain in the ass" Zex said as Taiyang looked at him

"Experience?" He asked

"When you have the title "The Executioner" people tend to be very judgmental and tend to believe you are evil." Zex said with a sigh as CC patted his back

"What's wrong with more muscle power?" Yang asked

"Depending on the source of that strength, it can be stupidly simple to being more than meets the eye." CC said as Zex mumbled something about Superman

**_Wiz: But when a hero uses that strength to inspire others, they truly stand out from the crowd._**

"Again, subjective" CC stated

**Boomstick: Like All Might, the symbol of peace from My Hero Academia.**

"He is buff!" Ruby yelled

**_Wiz: And Jaune "Might Guy" Arc, master of ninja combat and bushy brows from Naruto._**

"Looks like this version had them shaved at some point" CC said as Zex whistled while holding a electric razor behind his back

"Thank Oum." Velvet said

**Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

"Except in this case no weapons or armor." CC said as Zex looked at him

"Jaune still has kunai and Shuriken bud." Zex stated with a chuckle "also you're awfully chatty today."

* * *

**ALL MIGHT**

**_Wiz: Imagine a world where superpowers are common, so-called Quirks, which can be trained at distinguished academies in hopes of becoming a superhero._**

**Boomstick: I know what you're thinking, "If everyone's got a power, then no one is super, right?" Except, most Quirks are really lame, like a balloon face or stretchy eyeballs. Ew.**

"Gross!" Weiss and Blake yelled

_**Wiz: Even then, there are some unlucky few who don't have any Quirk at all. You may already know one of these Quirkless, Izuku Midoriya.**_

"And he should have stayed that way!" CC yelled

"Hey man don't diss Deku!" Zex said

"He got his quirk through Deus Ex Machina!" CC yelled

"AND SO DID GOKU WITH ULTRA INSTINCT!" Zex yelled as they began to fight and give me a minute

_WE ARE EXPERIENCING THE NARRATOR BEATING THE HELL OUT OF AND SCOLDING BOTH ENTITES _

_GIVE US A MINUTE _

_BACK TO OUR REGULARALLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM_

But before him, there came another, one who would change the world. His name is Toshinori Yagi.

**Boomstick: Toshinori wasn't a pushover, though. Even without a superpower, he wanted to become the symbol of peace, and thanks to Pro Hero Nana Shimura, he found a way.**

**_Wiz: Shimura's Quirk had the unique ability to be directly passed on to a new user, and she saw something special in Toshinori. And so, he became the next bearer of One for All._**

**Boomstick: An ultra-powerful Quirk that let him become that symbol of peace with a never-ending smile on his face, All Might!**

_All Might: I AM HERE!_

"Why do I feel like that became a iconic line." Taiyang said

**_Wiz: Now a truly remarkable hero, All Might quickly rose through the local rankings, but fame wasn't the reward he sought. He legitimately just wanted to help people._**

"A bit of a rarity in worlds with that kind of a system where heroes are basically supercops with corporations" CC said with an icepack on his head

"Agreed" Zex said with a knife made of arcane energy in his neck

"What happened to you guys?" Summer asked

**Boomstick: Yeah, just look at that big ol' grin. That's not just for show, he keeps his smile up to make sure the people around him feel safe, and with his powers, why wouldn't they?**

_**Wiz: All Might can punch with enough force to change the weather, even creating a massive storm once.**_

_Man: It's raining._

_Man 2: Holy crap. He changed the weather!_

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?" Weiss exclaimed

**Boomstick: He can jump so high, people mistake him for flying. You might say they're takin' a flying leap in logic.**

_**Wiz: But along with super-strength, One For All includes powers like improved durability, stamina, and speed.**_

"I wonder if I could beat him in a race?" Ruby wondered

**Boomstick: All Might has no problem takin' huge hits and fighting villainy in the blink of an eye.**

(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**_Wiz: And thanks to his training at U.A. High School, All Might molded his Quirk into an incredible fighting style._**

**Boomstick: With moves named after... the United States?****I thought this dude was Japanese.**

"That perplexed me as well, but in the end, I've heard stranger stuff." CC stated

"Really like what?" Blake asked

"You don't wanna know" He replied

**_Wiz: Well, it's likely a nod to how the U.S. essentially created the modern superhero, like Superman. America's got a sort of superhero monopoly going on._**

**Boomstick: Ah, if I had a Quirk like that, I'd name my moves after food. (Thrusts his fist out) California Roll!**

"There is no way that will work" Weiss said

(Sushi appears in his hand)

_**Wiz/Audience: Oh my God, it worked!**_

"How!?" Blake yelled

**Boomstick: Goin' for two. Lobster Roll!**

(A lobster appears in his hand)

**_Wiz: Why lob..._**

(The lobster leaps on Wiz's face, he yells and falls to the ground, Boomstick chuckling afterward)

**Boomstick: Anyway, there's a ton of different Smashes in All Might's arsenal, covering all sorts of states and cities, from Nebraska, to Detroit, to the Carolinas.**

_**Wiz: And most of their names actually do describe their results to a certain extent. For example, his Texas and Oklahoma Smashes both create variations of tornadoes.**_

"We are more than just tornadoes." CC stated

"I live in Houston so I never dealt with tornadoes" Zex said

"You guys are from there!?" Taiyang asked

"HELL YEAH!" Zex yelled while firing off a revolver

"Texan all the way!" CC said as he gave Zex a high five

"Then what are you known for?" Weiss asked

"Winter without snow, steaks, cowboys, and a devotion to sports that it defies reason and ruins education." CC said

"Can you say that?" Zex asked

"As an actual educator and Texan I can say that yes, the school put more emphasis on catching balls then on filling brains." CC said with a sigh

**Boomstick: And those two states are smack dab in the crossfire of real-life Tornado Alley. Coincidence? Probably not.**

**_Wiz: Of course, many of his attacks create targeted gusts of wind, but every Smash does have it's own unique form of delivery. Such as how the Missouri Smash is a karate chop, and the New Hampshire Smash is a reverse attack, meant to send All Might rocketing through the air._**

**Boomstick: But he's got one mega-sized move that goes beyond all that. Or as he calls it, "Plus Ultra".**

_All Might: UNITED STATES OF SMASH!_

"WOAH!" They all yelled as Zex was screaming something about how it awesome it was

**Boomstick: So friggin' hardcore! Ah, the United States of Smash! (Singing) Cause I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free... oh God, I love that move!**

**_Wiz: But he's Japanese._**

"He really loves America doesn't he" Weiss said

"Yup but luckily it doesn't blind us" CC said

**Boomstick/Zex: (Responds with another song) 'Merica, f**k yeah! United States of mother f**king Smash, yeah!**

"...Nevermind" CC said as he pinched the bridge of his nose at Zex's antics

"But what did you mean by that CC?" Nora asked

"Well" Zex said snapping out his stupor not noticing Ironwood walking in "Some people, like me, take that shit too far. Just look at Ironwood and Adam." Zex finished

"Excuse me!?" Ironwood yelled

"and speak of The Devil" Zex said

"I was not "Taking it too far"! I was doing my job!" He yelled

"You brought an entire army of robots as "Security". That just screams "Suck on Atlas's robot dick!" CC said

"Plus robots was your smartest idea for a security force! Humans are far more reliable than that shit because they can actually make rational decisions instead of going "Beep Boop! I am a Robot! I am not hacked and about to shoot you dead!" Mother Fucker be glad that those bucket of bolts can be destroyed like they are made of paper! Your cyber defense SUCKS DICK!" Zex yelled

_**Wiz: To determine the power of this epic blow, let's find the volume of the resulting whirlwind by comparing its size to the nearby buildings. Applying the standard height of three meters per floor, the whirlwind appears to be at least 2,200 meters tall, giving it a volume of over ten billion cubic meters. To create a tornado that large, All Might's strike must've equaled a force of over eleven thousand tons of TNT.**_

**Boomstick: That's insane! He's got the power of an atomic bomb in his bare fist!**

**_Wiz: He's also fast enough to run down this stairway in less than half a second. A feat which, given the distance measured, means he can move twenty-nine times faster than sound._**

**Boomstick: He's in the same league as the supervillain Gigantomachia, who blew up a mountain! And he punched this Nomu guy so hard, he pulled a Team Rocket! Looks like Nomu's blasting off again!**

_Popup: While All Might never fought Gigantomachia, he has defeated All For One, whose power is so great Gigantomachia reveres him as his master._

_**Wiz: With so much power, All Might remained the number one hero for years. Unfortunately, success doesn't last forever.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, he got into a fight that was a bit bigger than even he could handle, and got injured pretty bad.**

_**Wiz: So bad, in fact, it became difficult for him to use his powers, and drastically limited his full strength.**_

**Boomstick: But hey, don't worry. For Death Battle, we look at each character's peak performance across their whole life. **

_**Wiz: Right. When fighting Nomu, All Might claimed that what he pulled off in three hundred punches, he could have previously done with just five.**_

_All Might: Back in my heyday, five hits would've been enough to knock that guy out. But today it took more than three hundred mighty blows._

_**Wiz: Taken literally, this means All Might, at his best, was sixty times more powerful.**_

"A bit of a reach, but within acceptable limits." CC said

"What would have been too much?" Zex asked

"If they said one hundred times." CC said

**Boomstick: But even as a crippled old man, he held on to the number one spot for a long time. Not because he was taking out more bad guys than the competition, but 'cause he was just so goddamn heroic.**

**_Wiz: At least until he could find a new successor with a smile on his face. A shining example of what it means to be a true hero, just like himself._**

_All Might: Have no fear, students. (rips off his tie) Because I am here!_

"He is so cool!" Ruby said

* * *

**JAUNE "MIGHT GUY" ARC**

**_Wiz: In Konohagakure, the hidden village in the leaves, Ninja train to use the mysterious arts of Ninjutsu and Genjutsu._**

**Boomstick: It's basically ninja magic. Everything from shooting fireballs to messing with your brain.**

_**Wiz: But some ninja just aren't suited to these difficult techniques. During young Rock Lee's time at the academy, he feared his lacking in these arts meant he would never accomplish his dream of becoming a ninja.**_

"Yeah I fell your pain bud" Zex said remembering his past

**Boomstick: And then, he met the one, the only, the bushy,**

"Don't wanna hear it." CC said as the girls giggled perversly

"I swear to God I will put a chastity belt on him if I fucking have too!" Zex yelled

**Jaune "Might Guy" Arc!**

_Might Guy: Hey! What's shaking? How you doing, everybody? Life treating you good?_

"What is that pose?" Summer asked trying not to laugh

**_Wiz: Guy is one of the most respected and powerful ninja among the Hidden Leaf, but he certainly didn't start out that way._**

**Boomstick: Yeah, he and his dad could never make all that ninja magic work for them, so they decided to focus on the one thing they were good at: punching people!**

"That's my man!" Yang yelled

"No he is your Daddy~" Blake teased as she blushed

"CC GET THE DAMN BELT!" Zex yelled

"NOOOOOOOO" The girls yelled

"Nope too late!" CC said as they magically put the belt on Jaune

_**Wiz: This is Taijutsu, or the ninja art of hand-to-hand combat. Dedicating himself to this form over all else, Guy soon became a master in the Taijutsu style, Strong Fist.**_

"That sounds interesting" Taiyang said as he watched the girls try to hurt the two god like beings

**Boomstick: Which translates to "Punching people really, really hard". It's a fighting style that is, literally, all about breaking bones. Yeah, I'll take that over ninja magic, thank you!**

_**Wiz: That's not to say Guy couldn't perform, uh, ninja magic, he's just not very skilled in it. At all.**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, like, a bunch of ninja can summon cool shit like tracking hounds or giant toads, Guy can summon a turtle. Yeah, that's about it.**

_**Wiz: But mastering the Strong Fist Style is a testimate to Guy's ability.**_

**Boomstick: Only the toughest people in the world can use it all. Otherwise, it's uh, super dangerous.**

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**Boomstick: That's the big thing with Guy's style, because he's gotta make up for not having ninja magic, everything he does comes with a big risk, especially his ultimate technique.**

_**Wiz: Right, Guy's father Might Duy was instrumental in helping him achieve the goal of becoming a, quote, 'splendid ninja', but he also taught him a skill which would prove to be both of their undoings: The Eight Gates.**_

"The Spiritual limiters that protect the human form." CC explained before anyone could ask

"That's a bit poetic of you." Zex said

"Because it is poetic. The true full power of humanity can destroy their own flesh if not properly contained." CC explained

"So in our own universe you are saying we have limiters that we can not break very easily?" Zex said

"No comment" CC said

**Boomstick: Wait, wait, wait. Somebody named their kid Might _Duy (Die)_? What, are you just hedging your bets for the future?**

_**Wiz: I mean... Duy is dead...**_

**Boomstick: Well, then I guess they called it!**

"GO TO HELL BOOMSTICK!" They all yelled, except CC and Zex

"Wait why is the Narrator calling me CC?" Composcreator asked

"because it is quicker to type than your full name" Zex replied

**_Wiz: The Eight Gates refer to the pathways within the human body which contain the flow of Chakra, the life energy ninja use for their techniques._**

**Boomstick: And, y'know. To live.**

**_Wiz: To simplify it, by opening each gate, Guy essentially removes inhibitors on his body, greatly increasing his power, speed, and capabilities._**

"At least he doesn't break bones like Izuku." CC said

"I will hit you again!" Zex said defending one of his favorite characters

Hey guys shut up about it already I know its just for comedic effect but it's really gonna trigger somebody!

"SHUT UP NARRATOR!" They both yelled confusing The Audience

**Boomstick: The first few gates are kinda safe, unlocking one hundred percent of the body's abilities, the second one even heals you a bit, but once you get past number four, things start getting real messy.**

**_Wiz: At this point, Guy suffers horrible pain and severe muscle tearing. While the power increase is certainly worth the risk in a difficult fight, it's likely to put the user in the hospital afterward._**

**Boomstick: After opening the sixth gate, he can move so fast his punches ignite the air around him, meaning he can shoot fireballs from his fists!**

**_Wiz: That would be the Morning Peacock technique. To ignite the hydrogen in the air, Guy must be swinging at speeds more than forty thousand kilometers per hour. That's over five times faster than the X-15 rocket jet, the fastest airplane in the modern world._**

**Boomstick: And once he opens the seventh gate, he can perform Daytime Tiger, where he throws a giant tiger's face at you. Hell yeah! This beautiful beast is strong enough to blow up an island! Awesome.**

_**Wiz: While opening the seventh gate would prove fatal for most ninja, Guy is strong enough and skilled enough to wield it without such concern. However, when it comes to the final gate, there is no going back.**_

**Boomstick: With the Eighth Gate of Death, Guy's power explodes, his blood boils, evaporating from his body. Yeah, if you thought that was some Super Saiyan energy aura around him there, think again. It's his blood burning through his skin. **

"No!" Jaunes girls yelled

"Such is necessary at times." CC said with a sad look on his face

"Why must there always be techniques that can possibly kill the user!" Zex yelled

**Hardcore! Gross, but hardcore.**

**_Wiz: In this mode, Guy can perform the speedy Evening Elephant technique, but his most impressive ability is, without a doubt, Night Guy._**

**Boomstick: Okay, Might Guy, Might Duy and Night Guy? Who's coming up with this shit?**

"Someone who is awesome at puns!" Zex said with a laugh as he was hit on the head by CC

_**Wiz: This attack was powerful enough to decimate Madara, one of the deadliest villains in the Naruto universe.**_

**Boomstick: Madara could take on Naruto, who had enough chakra to blow a hole through the moon. Sure, Night Guy's still not as powerful as Naruto once the kid goes all gold and glowy, but it's definitely above Jiraiya's Big Ball Rasengan carving up a mountain, or Obito raising up a giant tree-like a crazy reverse lumberjack!**

_**Wiz: Despite all this risk, Guy proved himself an equal to some of the greatest ninja of the Hidden Leaf, including his longtime rival Kakashi, who was fast enough to catch lightning from a distance. Measuring the space Kakashi had to cover here and the speed of lightning itself, he must have moved over seven hundred thousand meters per second, more than two thousand times faster than sound.**_

"He is faster than me!" Ruby yelled

**Boomstick: But in the end, even though he knew the Eighth Gate meant the ultimate sacrifice, he did it anyway like a boss to protect his friends. He did get lucky, though, cause Ninja Jesus showed up to keep him alive. Good timing! No wonder he's always got a smile on his face!**

**_Wiz: But handicapped from then on, Guy's days of combat were finally over. At least, for the time being. Still, even if this was to be his last mission, Guy had already found a worthy successor. A shining example of what it means to be a splendid ninja, just like himself._**

_Might Guy: DYNAMIC ENTRY!_

"A staple of any strong warrior. An entrance that lets everyone know you are here to kick ass." CC said

"Agreed!" Zex said

_Might Guy launches his attack, kicking Jiraiya in the face._

* * *

"Okay why were you guys at each other throats?" Velvet asked

"Hey! Even we Editors get bored so we look for the most stupid reason sometimes just to have a good reason to either argue or just punch each other to get to stress!" Zex explained

"So in other words it not really personal just a way you guys either have fun or relieve stress?" Ren, who was enthralled in the video, asked

"Yup plus Zex helped me get some rust off of my fighting skills that way! Zex the knife is still in your neck." CC said

"Oh shit!" Zex said as he pulled out the knife "I forgot about that"

Zex threw it behind him as it hit Neptune, who was being quiet, dead in the nuts

Neptune screamed as Zex yelled "OH SHIT!"

"Poor bastard" CC said with a wince

* * *

**DEATH BATTLE**

(*Cues Mighty - Therewolf Media & Brandon Yates*)

**Might Guy is seen sitting at a table in the forest reading an issue of My Hero Academia. Suddenly, he feels the ground shake and hears a large noise. He places his manga back on the table and turns around. All Might arrives after leaping into the forest from a nearby city, where he strikes a heroic pose.**

**_All Might: Don't worry, I am here!_**

**Guy gets excited and laughs while posing repeatedly.**

**_Might Guy: Ahahahaha, so cool! The amazing costume, those bursting muscles, that magnificent hair! You must be a worthy opponent..._**

**He then sits down back at the table and places his elbow in the middle.**

**_Might Guy: ...for an arm wrestling contest!_**

**All Might dashes to the table at super speeds and sits down as well.**

**_All Might: I accept your challenge!_**

**The two mentors grip each others' hands, sending two large shockwaves throughout the area. They then start digging their elbows deep into the table.**

**_Might Guy: I can't lose. I have the power of youth on my side!_**

**_All Might: You're inspiring, but no one can defeat the symbol of peace!_**

**Both heroes slowly start standing up as their competition annihilates the table they are sitting at. The two then headbutt each other, sending both flying into trees on the opposite sides of the clearing. All Might chuckles heartily.**

**_All Might: Incredible! Let's take this up a notch!_**

**Might Guy responds by taking on his signature combat pose.**

**_Might Guy: Give me your best shot! I won't hold back. That's a promise!_**

"Just like Jaune" Pyrrha said with a smile

"As should any true decent men." CC said with a smile

**The two then charge at each other, with Guy throwing a Kunai towards All Might, and All Might dodging it. At this point, Guy performs his signature flying kick:**

**_Might Guy: Dynamic Entry!_**

**The kick hits All Might square in the face, stopping All Might mid-step, but All Might is barely fazed.**

**_All Might: Nice trick. My turn!_**

**All Might then spins Guy around, hurls him skywards, and throws one of his signature attacks at a falling Guy.**

**_All Might: Texas SMAAAAAASH!_**

**Guy is sent flying, but recovers with a show of acrobatics and posing upon landing, with score signs showing 10 appearing behind him. All Might then resumes his attack with Carolina Smash.**

**_All Might: You can take a hit well, but what are you really made of?_**

**Guy ducks under the attack as it causes mass destruction to the forest behind him, and then begins repeatedly attacking All Might with a flurry of punches and kicks. This knocks All Might into a tree with enough force to uproot it. All Might then grabs the tree mid-flight, halts himself and hurls the tree towards Guy. The tree connects and knocks Guy backwards, and All Might is seen jumping towards him.**

"They are powerful!" Yang and Taiyang yelled

**The scene shows the battle raging all across the forest, then zooms back in to All Might returning to the ground, with Guy coming down right after. The two then trade blows for a bit before Guy gets the upper hand and knocks All Might back with a powerful blow. Guy then moves to follow up, but All Might catches the punch, and the fight halts for a moment. Guy gives his opponent a thumbs up, and speaks:**

**_Might Guy: You're splendid! But I'll show you exactly how hard I've worked! Sixth Gate of Joy, open!_**

**As he says this, Guy opens the Sixth Gate, complete with his skin turning brown and a green aura. Guy then decks All Might in the face with a flaming fist and follows up with the Morning Peacock. All Might is briefly pinned down by the rain of fireballs, but uses another technique to close the gap:**

**_All Might: New Hampshire Smash!_**

**As he does this, All Might sends himself flying into Guy, then flips back to his feet to send Guy flying with a mighty uppercut. Guy recovers in midair, and proceeds to use Morning Peacock again, to which All Might replies with a barrage of blasts of air. After a moment, Guy lands.**

**_Might Guy: Seventh Gate, open!_**

**The blue aura of sweat appears around Guy as he does this. The camera cuts to All Might, who has for a brief moment switched to a drawn style similar to that of Saitama's infamous 'OK' face from One Punch Man. A chibi version of Dracula's monster form also shows up in this art style as the obligatory cameo. The camera then shifts back to Guy.**

**_Might Guy: Daytime Tiger!_**

**Guy unleashes the Seventh Gate's signature move, which rockets towards Toshinori, who catches and struggles against the blast.**

**_All Might: This... is nothing... for a hero... like me! Ah, screw it. You wanted my best?_**

**As he says this, he leaps through the Daytime Tiger and dissipates it, before charging at Guy with his ultimate technique.**

**_All Might: Here it is! United States of SMAAAAAAAAAASH!_**

**Guy has no time to react as the attack hits him, creating a massive crater at the impact site. It's revealed that Toshinori punched a hole through Guy's chest, causing him to cough out blood. At this point, Guy gives another thumbs up.**

"Jaune no!' The girls yelled

"Wait for it" CC said

**_Might Guy: Never give up..._**

**He then punctures his heart with his thumb, beginning his last-ditch effort to win.**

**_Might Guy: Eighth Gate of Death... open._**

**Opening the Eighth Gate, Guy and All Might crash into opposite sides of the crater. All Might gets to his feet and takes a moment to behold his foe. Guy emerges from the smoke, his skin red and covered in an aura of boiling blood.**

**_All Might: Still more...? Bring it on!_**

**All Might takes a combat stance towards Guy, smiling as he says this. Guy puts his hands to the ground, in preparation for his final attack.**

**_Might Guy: Charge!_**

**As he says this, a dragon-shaped aura appears above the burning ninja, indicating the start of the Night Guy. All Might winds up another United States of Smash, uttering his catchphrase as he does so.**

**_All Might: GO BEYOND!_**

**Guy then charges, and the screen cuts to the two yelling at the top of their lungs.**

**_All Might: PLUS ULTRAAAAAAAAAAA!_**

**The two attacks seem to be about to clash for a moment, but All Might is hit by the Night Guy, followed up by the dragon-shaped aura crashing into him, killing him instantly. Might Guy then lands in front of his fallen foe, who had also lost an arm and a leg. Guy lets out one final remark...**

**_Might Guy: Good fight. Let's do it...again..._**

**As he says this, Guy collapses to the ground, dead from the result of opening the Eighth Gate.**

**KO!**

* * *

**RESULTS**

(*Cues: Mighty - Therewolf Media & Brandon Yates again*)

(We cut to Wiz and Boomstick)

**Boomstick: Looks like All Might might not be all right. **

_**Wiz: Well, All Might was an incredibly powerful and inspiring hero, but then again, the same could be said for Guy.**_

"Wait why is Jaune called "Might Guy" instead of his name?" Weiss asked

"Because Jaune, in this world, preferred that name instead of his real name." Zex said not wanting to dive into this Jaune's past

**Boomstick: All Might was super strong, with plenty of good training. Without his Gates, Guy wouldn't have stood a chance.**

_**Wiz: Right. Keep in mind that each of All Might's feats we covered were performed while he was in an injured state. So for this comparison, we multiplied each result by sixty, as per All Might's own estimation of his power.**_

**Boomstick: For example, remember how he was similar to Gigantomachia, who busted a hole through a freakin' mountain?**

**_Wiz: By scaling the mountain to the pine trees beneath it, it's easy to deduce the blast necessary for this would be about 2.5 gigatons of TNT._**

**Boomstick: With the multiplier, that would be 150 gigatons in All Might's prime. That's three thousand times stronger than the biggest nuke that's ever been set off.**

**_Wiz: But here's the thing: even with the multiplier, we know Guy was faster, and while they've both learned to fight a wide variety of opponents, Guy was trained all his life and boasted a more versatile set of abilities and techniques._**

**Boomstick: So with that much speed and skill, Guy already had a pretty good advantage, so long as he could hit All Might harder than All Might could hit him. So to answer that, let's check their strongest attacks.**

_**Wiz: All Might's greatest known feat would be the moment his Smash created a massive storm. One that extended beyond the horizon. By taking the average mass of a thunderstorm (which is huge), and the ten seconds it took for All Might's Smash to create it, this comes out to a little over twenty-four Gigatons of TNT. In his prime, this punch would equal over 1,440 gigatons.**_

**Boomstick: Twenty-eight thousand times stronger than the biggest nuke. From just one punch! Holy hell!**

"He could kill all of the world with just a few punches!" Yang yelled

**_Wiz: Unfortunately, it's impossible to lock down a specific number in this way for Guy's strongest attack, Night Guy. However, we can scale him to similar characters we know to be at lesser levels, in this case, base form Naruto._**

**Boomstick: God damn! We can never get away from this little twerp, can we?**

_**Wiz: Well, Night Guy did serious damage to Madara, who Naruto's normal abilities stood no chance against. Obviously, Naruto gets a lot more power when he accesses Sage Mode, Kurama's Chakra, Six Paths Powers, etc., but Night Guy is certainly more powerful than Naruto's base form at the end of the series.**_

**Boomstick: Y'know that hole in the moon we mentioned? That was made by pulling all of Naruto's base chakra out of his body and blowing it up, and I mean all of it. **

_Sakura: Most of his chakra has been siphoned off._

**Boomstick: We've actually covered this before, and that blast was 480 petatons of TNT. "What's a petaton?", you ask? Well, it's a whole lot bigger than a gigaton, that's for sure.**

**_Wiz: Simply put, the gap in power put Guy several leagues above All Might. Also, Guy's superior speed ensured All Might couldn't avoid such a blow when it really mattered._**

**Boomstick: Like... y'know, in a fight to the death? And yeah, Guy using the Eighth Gate means he'll die later, but he still won the battle before that would happen, and that's still a victory.**

**_Wiz: All Might was remarkably powerful and certainly a challenge for Guy, but with his Gates open, Guy had the speed, versatility and power to take him out for good._**

**Boomstick: It was a mighty tough battle for all, but All Might wasn't a match for one powerful Guy.**

**_Wiz: The winner is Jaune "Might Guy" Arc._**

* * *

"Well then see you guys next time!" Zex yelled as he and CC disappeared

"Wait get this out of me!" Neptune yelled

He looked around and saw no one to help him except a creepy clown in a purple suit.

"Well, well, well what have we hear? Someone in need of help!" The clown laughed like a maniac

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Neptune yelled

* * *

**Sorry if this isn't up to quality guys. I've been really tired lately and trying to come up with gags to do onto Zex has been taking its toll. Thanks to Composcreator for joining again in this! He is a really awesome dude check him out! **


	18. UNITED STATES OF SMASH!

**Hey guys! So before this ends I decided to do a special chapter for all of y'all to hold you over! I also thank you guys for the criticism, not gonna say any names you know who you are, it really does help me at times! Yet I don't think you guys read everything when I said it wasn't my BEST WORK. My best work is when the characters respond more than the host! Everyone has their off day and I had mine. If you don't like the story all I'm gonna say is don't read it. Now this chapter is gonna hold you over but I think you guys deserve a break from the host for a quick second! so this chapter is just a step back for a quick second before the finale of the Death Battles! I will do these from time to time so don't think this is the last one! Enjoy Y'all**

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the amphitheater waiting for them all to return. Until the screen started up

"Huh!? Usually Zex is here when this happens!" Weiss yelled

"Maybe it's a special episode?" Ruby said excited

"Well then let's see what it is" Ironwood said bored out of his mind

**"Your power is failing you All Might" Said a man in a black suit with what appeared to be a strange looking helmet. **

**Jaune was seen standing there looking worse for wear. His hero costume was ripped in random places as he looked at the man. Blood was coming from his head as it ran down the side of his face. His blue eyes were staring at the man with utter anger.**

**"It's time to end this All Might" Said the man as his right arm became a monstrous size**

"All Might? Like the guy from the last battle?" Blake asked

"It has to be!" Nora said excited

"So Jaune is a superhero now!" Ruby said with stars in her eyes "Yes! Wait who is the guy in the suit?"

"I don't know rubes but who ever he is I don't think he is on Jaune's side" Yang said

"C'mon it's Jaune he will win!"

"Ruby if Jaune is All Might in this world then that means he is INJURED. Its not very likely he will win this fight." Weiss stated

"Yeah Ruby she is right about this. Jaune is hurt so he can't really fight for very long remember." Taiyang said with a blank expression

**"Never All for One!" Jaune yelled as he prepared to throw a cross**

**"Farewell All Might!" **

**Both threw their punches as it connected and caused Jaune to slide back while trying to hold his ground.**

"So that guy's name is All For One?" Ren asked

"Yeah and it looks like he is going to kill Jaune" Summer said with a sigh

"So is this how All Might dies?" Ironwood asks

"Most likely" Taiyang said

**Jaune slid back trying to keep some semblance of ground. He remembered who he is trying to protect. His protegee needed someone to teach him. He dug his foot into the ground beneath him.**

**"I see" **

"Um...what?" Ruby asked

**A dying fire was shown as Jaune walked up to it and shielded it from the wind trying to keep it alive.**

**"The fire is resisting even though they are on the edge of dying to the frozen winds. To fulfil their duty." All for One said**

**"FOOLISH!" He yelled as he pressed his assault "THIS IS WHERE YOU DIE!" **

**Jaune's arm spouted out blood as his arm was broken. **

**"This isn't because I'm the Symbol Of Peace" Jaune's eyes was shown glowing blue as it showed his other arm.  
**

**"Like my master did for me, I can't die until her training is complete" he clenched his fist as it suddenly gained muscle as he punched All for One on the side of his face.**

"Like that punch could do anything" Yang said with a sigh

**"Is that it? That was weak!" All for One yelled as his other arm swelled the same as his right**

**"That's because my back wasn't in it!" Jaune yelled**

"Wait what?" Yang said

**All for One focused on Jaune's arm and saw that his arms lost all the mass that it originally had. Jaune raised his broken hand into the air like he is about to grasp something that isn't even there.**

**"_This power...it stockpiles the strength of everyone, hoping that through it, it would do good in this world. Now it's your turn Jaune."_**

**They watched as a beautiful scene played where it seemed the stars connected together as the previous holder talked. The woman was shown with a white cloak as she extended her arm and Jaune's hand grasped the star like object. His arm suddenly returned to its muscled state as an explosion happened right behind him as he threw his punch.**

"Why was there an explosion?" Weiss asked confused

**"Farewell, All For One!" Jaune's punch landed cleanly on his jawline. He used his placement to send All for One into the ground. **

**"UNITED STATES OF..." All for One was then sent into the ground hard enough that it shattered "SMASH!" **

**A gust of wind was instantly formed and looked like a hurricane. They saw as the very earth brought up as a helicopter was shown struggling not to be dragged into the whirlwind.**

"HOLY SHIT!" Yang yelled

"WAIT JAUNE DEFEATED HIM WITH THAT WOUND!? HOW!?" Weiss yelled

"Maybe it has to do with the fact that Jaune is way to stubborn to die." Pyrrha said

"Yeah that has to be it" Weiss said

Don't get it twisted they wanted Jaune to win. They remembered the Death Battle and how they didn't really talk much. In all honesty they just wanted to hear Zex and CC talk a little more even if it was for one day. Doesn't mean they want them to continue talking for hours on end. Plus Zex seemed really tired and irritable that day. It was best to keep quiet as to not get blown up by him.

**Jaune's face was shown as his thoughts were heard "Good bye, One for All" They saw the fires finally die out.**

"Um, does that mean something?" Ruby asked

"I think Jaune lost his powers" Pyrrha said with wide eyes

**Jaune was standing over his downed opponent as other heroes ran around doing a clean up. The camera switched to show Ruby standing next to Yang, Blake, Weiss, and Velvet. **

**"We should probably get back to Beacon guys." Weiss said as they all nodded in agreement and began to walk away**

**"As we can see, the heroes are doing everything they can to find anyone who is trapped or hurt. It is uncertain on what-" The reporter said on screen as Jaune suddenly pointed at the camera and that silenced every one.**

**Ruby turned back around as Jaune spoke**

**"Next...You're**** next"**** Jaune said as it switched back to the crowd and Ruby.**

**"All Might!" **

**"You hear that! Villains you better watch out!" **

**"All Might you really are amazing!" **

**The crowd cheered as Ruby broke down crying as the only one to notice was Yang. **

**"As everyone believed he was giving a warning to villains I knew what he was truly saying. My time is up, it's your turn now" **

"Wow, even when he is nearly dead he knows how to make it emotional huh?" Blake said with wide eyes

"Yeah, maybe we should see if we can visit that world sometime?" Ren said with a smile

"Do you think Jaune will show us how to break some legs?" Nora asked

"He is a hero Nora I don't think that breaking villains legs are his thing." Ren said with a chuckle

* * *

**I hope you guys enjoyed! Also the Next chapter will be one of my favorites! If you are ready for the finale of this Ark then be prepared! Maybe I'll do a story specifically for Death Battles, I don't know but maybe if you guys want it! See y'all next time!**


	19. Death Battle Finale!

**The Death Battles were fun while they lasted! If you want me to continue with them in another story let me know! Lets finish this!**

* * *

Everyone was waiting for Zex and CC to return. Something did feel off about the atmosphere though. Why did Ironwood, Neptune, and Ozpin feel like they were in great danger. Maybe it was the fact that Zex's friends were just as powerful, if not more, then him. Zex was way more violent them the others though considering he loved to torture Neptune as well as blowing up the amphitheater again if he was pissed off enough. CC though was far more composed then Zex but seemed to have a short temper when it came to certain things. Even then they really have seen CC angry considering when they think they do he is actually just either letting off steam or just beating the shit out of Neptune.

"Why do they always beat the shit out of me!" Neptune yelled with an Ice Pack on his groin

"Because we find it hilarious" Zex said as he dropped kicked Neptune, who was in his chair, across the room and into the wall making a huge indent in it

"Why is Neptune always targeted?" Dove asked

"Again this version is a giant fuck boy so it works" CC said walking in with a cup of coffee

"Why do you have coffee?" Ozpin asked worried for CC

"Because we are about to watch two realities where Zex is about to go crazy for it." CC said as he took a sip from his drink

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJO!" Zex sang as he jumped around the room

"And someone gave him forty pounds of sugar earlier" CC said as Deadpool laughed in the distance

* * *

_**INTRO**_

(*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

**_Wiz: We've covered a lot of macho heroes here on DEATH BATTLE!, but these two are as manly and stoic as they come._**

**Boomstick: It's all in those sweet ass jackets. I mean, I-I guess they're pretty badass too.**

"He's not wrong. The clothes make the man" CC said as Zex ran around in the background

"Should we be worried about him?" Yang asked with a sweatdrop

"No" CC said "He will crash in a little bit"

**_Wiz: Jotaro Kujo, the delinquent turned hero from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure._**

"And argeuably the more famous one. Tied right up there with his grandfather." CC said as Zex yelled something about Pillar Men

**Boomstick: And Jaune Arc, the wandering Fist of the North Star. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

"Master of the "delayed effect of an attack" phenomenon." CC stated as he took another sip as Zex finally was knocked out by a punch to the face

"You are awefully chatty again." Blake said as Zex was thrown across the room through a random door

"There is a lot to be said and explained today" CC said as he slammed the door shut

**_Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle._**

* * *

**Jotaro Kujo**

**_Wiz: As a teenager, Jotaro Kujo was a fairly infamous troublemaker._**

"A trouble maker?" Ozpin asked with a raised eyebrow

"What are those clothes?" Weiss asked

"I don't know but I like the look, even though it is a bizzare look"

**Boomstick: But you can just call him "JoJo" like his friends do. Get it? JO-taro Ku-JO?**

Wiz: How... bizarre.

(We see the "To Be Continued" sign after what Wiz said)

"Roll credits" CC said as a ding sound was heard

"How did you-" "Don't question it" CC said before Summer could finish her question

_Popup: His bad attitude is often attributed to the absence of his father, who was touring as a jazz musician throughout Jotaro's childhood._

**Boomstick: While being a high school hoodlum isn't usually a good idea, it worked out great for him, cause he toughed up a lot.**

"His dad was a Jazz musician and he was never there in his life?" Taiyang said

"Yup" CC stated

**_Wiz: At the age of seventeen, Jotaro was arrested for brutally pummeling four known gang members, who were armed with knives and nunchucks of all things,_**

"Hey! Don't diss the nunchucks!" Sun yelled

**_with apparently his bare fists, but Jotaro had a bigger problem, he didn't know how he did it_**.

**Boomstick: He knew he was tough, but not that tough, so he came to the only conclusion that makes sense: He was possessed by an evil spirit! (makes ghostly noises).**

"Honestly a rarity to be aware of one's own strength to such a degree." CC said

"I could do that! With any one at beacon!" Yang boasted

"And yet you lost to a Neapolitan woman who was far weaker than you when it comes to strength." CC said as he dodged a chair thrown at him

_**Wiz: Just like my pet rat!**_

**Boomstick: Yeah, wait, is that why he's been scratching pentagrams all over his cage?**

**_Wiz: You'll find out._**

"Run Boomstick!" Summer, Ruby, and Nora yelled

"How the hell did he get a rat possessed?" Dove asked with wide eyes

**_But then, Jotaro did something absolutely crazy. To prove his theory, he swiped a police officer's gun, pointed it straight at his head, and fired._**

**Boomstick: And that's how he died. ...Just kidding! A third arm popped out of his body to stop the bullet, of course!**

"That is creepy!" Winter yelled

**_Wiz: This strange being attached to Jotaro wasn't an evil spirit at all, it's an entity physically generated by Jotaro himself, and inherited through his bloodline._**

"So it's like passed down from generation to generation?" Glynda asked

"Kinda" CC simply stated with a shrug "more like it was awakened after a certain event"

**Boomstick: Yeah, lots of the JoJo family has 'em, including his granddad Joseph.**

"That's his grandpa!? He is built like a house!" Velvet said in awe

"Welcome to anime!" Zex said as he popped into existance

"You know there are people like that in the real world right" CC deadpanned

"There are?" Zex said shocked as CC facepalmed

"No more sugar for you"

**_Wiz: These beings are called Stands, literally because they stand by you._**

**Boomstick: (groans) I mean, I guess it's not wrong.**

**_Wiz: It's so lame!_**

"I agree with that statement." Yastuyashi said with a sigh

**Boomstick: Stands are powered by their user's life force, and turns out, Jotaro's life force is supercharged because he's got one of the strongest Stands of all: Star Platinum.**

**_Wiz: Star Platinum has superhuman strength, speed, precision, and vision. He can even phase through bodies and affect the person's inner organs. Plus, while Star Platinum can take a solid hit, most Stands can only be damaged by other Stands or Stand users._**

**Boomstick: So, he's basically invincible unless he's fighting another Stand?**

**_Wiz: Exactly, in fact, unless you have a Stand of your own, you wouldn't even be able to see Star Platinum._**

**Boomstick/Qrow: Oh great, so he's invincible and invisible.**

_Popup: Some Stands, such as Strength the Cargo Ship, are visible to ordinary people. However, these circumstances are dependent on the Stand and not the viewers abilities._

"Tongue Twister with only two words" CC said

**_Wiz: And when you combine all that with Jotaro's fighting skills and exceptional cleverness, they make a magnificent team._**

**Boomstick: That's good, 'cause Jotaro soon found out his family's old vampire nemesis was out to get him!**

_Popup: Dio had possessed the body of Jotaro's great great grandfather, Jonathan. Or rather, his severed head had taken over Jonathan's body. It was really weird._

"That's putting it lightly." CC muttered as Zex growled at Dio

"Wait his own head took over a body of his great great grandfather? That is really bizarre." Velvet said not realizing she set Zex up for a joke

"No" CC sprayed Zex with a spray bottle full of water

**_Wiz: With Star Platinum at his side, Jotaro didn't just stand up to DIO, he copied DIO's greatest ability: the Time Stop._**

**Boomstick: With this new power, Star Platinum can freeze time everywhere for five seconds. He can do it multiple times, though it does need a sort of recharge between uses, kind of like an ability cooldown in a videogame, or me in the bedroom, ladies, but still, he can frigging STOP TIME!**

_Popup: Originally, Time Stop only lasted around two seconds, but this increased over time._

"Excuse me BUT WHAT!" Neptune yelled

"HE CAN STOP TIME THAT IS SOOOOOOOO COOL!" Nora yelled

"Oh yeah" Zex said as he stopped time and repeatedly punched Neptune in the dick "Time now resumes"

Neptune hit the ground in pain as he held his groin.

"We need to put you on limit" Ozpin said as he witnessed what happened

"My story, my rules" Zex said

"At least it was until Morioh" CC said as he brought the subject back to the Time Stop

"What happened in Morioh?" Ruby asked

"It got really..." Zex started

"Bizarre" CC and Zex finished at the same time

**_Wiz: In Jotaro's case, he may be human, but he's strong enough to smash through stone and leap several stories. On the other hand, Star Platinum is said to be faster than light._**

_Popup: In "Eyes of Heaven", Star Platinum learned Reality Overwrite. However, this and other events/characters from EoH are contradictory to the primary source, and thus omitted._

**Boomstick: Sure...technically he can, because he can stop time or whatever, but he can't really move that fast normally, right?**

**_Wiz: Well...maybe. Star Platinum has matched his speed with another Stand called Silver Chariot. Silver Chariot previously defeated a different Stand called Hanged Man._**

**Boomstick: Long story short, Hanged Man moves between reflections at lightspeed, and Silver Chariot caught him in mid-movement.**

**_Wiz: Granted, Silver Chariot had to use an elaborate plan to force Hanged Man into moving in a predictable direction. If Silver Chariot was truly faster than light, he wouldn't have needed to resort to such a plan, but the fact he caught Hanged Man at all is proof enough that he's at least close to light speed._**

"I still call bullshit on that analysis" Zex stated "The STAND is lightspeed not user. So yeah Silver Chariot will naturally struggle against something that MOVES the speed of light"

"Are you sure about that?" CC asked

"YES IM SURE!" Zex yelled as CC sighed

"That is still impressive though" Coco said with a look of amazement

"I don't think I can ever get to that speed ever in my life" Ruby said as Summer nodded in agreement

**Boomstick: So that means Star Platinum is close to light speed, too, and he's got the super strength to back up his super speed. He can lift a steamroller that's around sixty tons! He broke the top of this building off and threw it like a javelin, and then there's the time that he broke a giant monster lady's teeth that were harder than diamonds!**

_Popup: Star Platinum is strongest within about ten feet of Jotaro's vicinity. Any further exponentially lowers his power._

"Damn that is one strong ghost!" Yang yelled

**_Wiz: The definition of hardness refers to an object's protection from scratches, but we could also compare this to pressure resistance or the possibility of fracture through a diamond's cleavage._**

"Oh no" Glynda said as she knew what was coming

"HA!" Zex laughed out as CC pinched the bridge of his nose

"Dear God, I think the narrator and the writers are doing this on purpose" CC stated

**Boomstick: (laughing)**

**_Wiz/Weiss/Winter: Not that kind of cleavage!_**

"I swear Boomstick just loves to be a pervert!" Weiss yelled

"Says the girl who attacked two god like beings over a chastity belt." Taiyang said

"Excuse me, she did what now?" Winter asked as Weiss blushed

"Your sister got pissed off that Zex and CC put a chastity belt on Jaune and tried to rip their heads off." Taiyang said as Winter looked at Weiss who was blushing

"Don't look at me like that! You would do the same thing if it was Qrow!" Weiss yelled

"No I wouldn't" Winter said as Zex gained a mischievous grin

"Oh really?" Zex said as he snapped his fingers while CC walked away

A belt popped onto Qrow as Winter stared at it for a few seconds.

"Huh? I guess you do have a lot more restraint then Wei-HOLY SHIT!" Zex exclaimed as Winter broke the chastity belt "...Next time make it out of adamantium"

**_The toughest diamonds break around six-hundred gigapascals. This means Star Platinum can clearly strike with a force equivalent to three million tons._**

**Boomstick: Turns out, diamonds AREN'T forever when Star Platinum's around! What CAN'T this guy do? Sounds like nobody could beat him!**

**_Wiz: Maybe not, but unlike Stands, Jotaro isn't invincible or invisible, and whenever Jotaro is hurt, Star Platinum feels the same pain. In fact, when a Stand user dies, so does their Stand, and vice versa._**

_Popup: For dire situations, Jotaro has mastered his family's long-successful "Secret Technique." Running away!_

"Live to fight another day." CC said

**_"NIGERUNDAYO!" They saw Joesph Joestar running away in a weird manner_**

Everyone laughed at what they were seeing.

**Boomstick: Sure but with a guy like Star Platinum having his back, I don't think Jotaro has a whole lot to worry about. These two are one kick-ass duo, and stylish!**

_Jotaro: Your receipt. You can keep the freaking change._

"Ya filthy animal" CC said with an amazing reference

"OH FUCK YOU NARRATOR!" Zex yelled as he was hit in the face with a brick

* * *

Jaune

_**Wiz: It's the last decade of the twentieth century, and the world has been ruined. In this apocalyptic age, the strong survive and the weak kneel. Only one man challenges this new society, and fortunately, he has the literal power to do it.**_

**Boomstick: Jaune, Fist of the North Star.**

"Wow, Mama likes~" Yang said while the girls all blushed

"He still has his chasity-" Zex started as Jaune's belt landed right in front of him as he paused "...ah fuck"

_**Wiz: Like most important protagonists, Jaune began his journey to greatness as a young orphan.**_

"Mix tragic backstory along with way to make sure that they develop a close bond with their mentor/parent figure, plus they end up valuing relationships more cliche" CC said with another ding sound

"Wait Jaune was an orphan in this world?" Ruby asked shocked

"Kinda" Zex said as CC looked at him with a raised brow

"Jaune IS from the original bloodline of Hokuto Shinken after all" Zex said with a laugh

"True" CC replied "but doesn't mean this Jaune isn't an orphan"

**Boomstick: Lucky for him, he eventually met old man Ryuken, who was a pretty cool dude, ended up adopting Kenshiro, along with a few other kids.**

**_Wiz: He was also the sixty-third Denshosha._**

**Boomstick/Ruby/Yang: Don't shoot what? Gun safety?**

**_Wiz: A grandmaster of an ancient Chinese martial art called Hokuto Shinken. While anyone can learn the basics of this dangerous fighting style, there can only ever be one grandmaster for each generation._**

"Introducing the plot point that it becomes the point of jealousy cliche" CC said as Zex realized what he was doing

"You are pulling a CinemaSins!" Zex yelled

"Yup!" CC replied

_Popup: Hokuto Shinken is over 1,800 years old!_

"Fun Fact: There is a dude on Instagram named cloak_and_sai who figured out how to turn the fictional martial art into actual functional techniques!" Zex stated

"Really?" CC asked shocked

"Yeah the dude is a martial artist and decided to make it into reality! While you can't explode heads with it, you can learn to defend yourself thanks to his videos! It is still in the works though" Zex explained

"WHAT THE HELL IS INSTAGRAM!" Yang yelled in frustration from the two editors

**Boomstick: So that's what Jaune set out to be, and with patience, training and plenty of muscle building, he was named the next successor of Hakuna Mata-shin. Too bad his adopted brother got pissed he wasn't chosen and killed Ryuken over it. Talk about a sore loser.**

"Why did he kill his own master!?" Ruby asked with wide eyes

"Ms. Rose, People who hunger for power will never be satisfied until they get what they want, which is endless. That man does not understand that so he killed his master for power. I have lived a long time and watched as that happened over and over again. It's a sad cycle that will never end." Ozpin stated with a tear going down the side of his face remembering the past

"Note to Self: Get Ozpin some therapy" Zex said as he wrote it down on a notepad

**_Wiz: With Hokuto Shinken mastered, Jaune can focus his energy into his strikes, effectively killing an opponent with a single blow to their pressure points. There are seven-hundred and eight malleable pressure points in the human body, and striking any of them can cause all sorts of effects: stunning, blinding, healing, restoring memories, making people walk backward..._**

"That is horrifying!" Glynda yelled

"How?" Qrow asked

"That means Mr. Arc can LITERALLY make you forget who you are permanently or even force you to walk till you die" She replied with a shiver

"OH NEPTUNE!" Zex said with a smile as he looked at his seat only to see a note that said 'Gone out for snacks'

Zex stared at it for about three minutes before he finally said "You little shit"

_Popup: Jaune's techniques are not limited to just the human body's pressure points, as they also have effected animals and vehicles._

**Boomstick: But mostly, they just make people explode! Anyway, things started looking pretty great for Kenny, he even got engaged, but then nuclear war broke out and turned the Earth into Mad Max land. Jaune's fiance got kidnapped, and this guy used his knife fingers to draw a nifty big dipper on Jaune's chest. Seriously, how is he not dead after that?**

Wiz: Miraculously, Jaune survived and began his wayward journey, wandering the wasteland searching for revenge.

"One, how did he DRAW that into his chest? It looked more like he was stabbed by it. Two, who was that?" Weiss asked

"Don't worry about it" CC said

"FEARLESS LEADER CAN MAKE PEOPLE EXPLODE AWESOME!" Nora yelled

**Boomstick: And if we go by how many people he blew up, I'd say he got plenty of it.**

_**Wiz: He really does leave a big mess behind, I can't even imagine what it must be like to clean up after one of his fights.**_

"They get a BIG tip" Fox joked

_Popup: He is also proficient with nunchaku and stave weapons._

"This version of Jaune uses nunchucks too? Awesome!" Sun exclaimed

**Boomstick: Jaune had no problem killing hordes of baddies with moves like his Bone Crushing Fist, Spilling Wheel Exploding Fist and Hundred Crack Fist. Huh, seein' him kill all these people from the inside out reminds me a lot of my ex-wife.**

_**Wiz: Um... how?**_

"Yes Boomstick, how does all of that REMIND you of your ex-wife?" Summer asked annoyed

**Boomstick: Emotionally, Wiz. **

"Oh" Winter said shocked

**Most of the time, his body explosions don't even happen right away, giving him plenty of time to explain to his foes how they're about to die, right before they explode.**

_Geese: You think you can beat me with a finger?_

_Jaune: That finger struck the hidden vital point known as Gakuchu. There's no use fighting now. You're already dead._

_(Geese screams as he swells and explodes)_

**Boomstick: Hakuna Matata**

"What a wonderful phase!" CC sang

"Ain't no passing craze!" Zex continued

"No! None of that! Shame on you!" Deadpool said as he popped up

"You uncultured son of a bitch" CC said with a glare

"It's Hokuto Shinken" Weiss said with an eye twitch as the three argued in the background

**isn't just for blowing up people.**

**_Wiz: Sure! Jaune has developed a number of legendary techniques, such as the Tenryu Kokyu Ho._**

**Boomstick: Aka the Art of Dragon's Breathing. According to Jaune, this unlocks the full potential of his natural abilities, where a normal fighter would only use about 30%.**

"That is cool!" Yang said as a fight raged in the background

_Popup: He is also skilled in countering unpredictable fighting styles and slicing opponents with air._

**_Wiz: He can utilize Toki, or his own natural ki, to perform numerous techniques. Most of these involved punching, of course, but he can also create mirage images of himself, sense other fighting auras, and fire ki-based projectiles to attack or defend from a distance._**

**Boomstick: Oh, uh... and he can perform miracles, like making a mute girl speak!**

_Lin: JAUUUUUUUUUUNE!_

**Boomstick/Cardin: How the heck/hell?!**

**_Wiz: But even that pales in comparison to Hokuto Shinken's ultimate technique. One which no previous grandmaster ever unlocked, Musou Tensei. Only those who truly understand pain and loss can apply Musou Tensei. With it, Jaune draws upon his inner sadness to enter a state of nothingness. From here, he is impervious to attacks, essentially achieving intangibility._**

"So he is invincible?" Ruby asked

**The screen showed Majin Kaioh defeating Jaune while he used Musou Tensei. **

"Nevermind" Ruby said with wide eyes

**Boomstick: He also somehow connects to the souls of dead allies and rivals, and can even use their techniques, but it's not like he needs them. He's already crazy enough on his own. He smashed the bones of a giant with a single hand, broke a metal table just by standing up, and hit a tank so hard, IT blew up!**

**_Wiz: He's even strong enough to break a skyscraper in half!_**

"WHAT!" Everyone yelled

**Boomstick: And then when it collapsed on top of him, he just walked through it! What a boss!**

_**Wiz: Just the concrete in one floor of an average-sized skyscraper can weigh over 1,000 tons.**_

"That is WAY too strong!" Ren said

"Compared to who?" Pyhrra asked remembering the other battles

"US!" Ironwood yelled out in frustration

"Wait till you see the Superman version of Jaune!" Deadpool yelled from the background

_Popup: He can endure a poison five times stronger than the typical lethal dosage of potassium cyanide._

**Boomstick: (Scoffs) You think that's tough? Jaune can stand in lava. LAVA! You know how hot lava is?**

**_Wiz: Up to two-thousand-_**

**Boomstick: Yeah, really freaking hot, that's what! And remember that tank? Before he blew it up, it shot him square on, and did absolutely nothing to him! **

"I think that this version of Jaune is overpowered" Yang said with a nervous chuckle

**Seriously, this guy is manly as hell!**

"Hell yeah he is!" CRDL yelled out

_Jaune: Omae wa mou shindeiru. (You're already dead.)_

_Galzus: Nani? (What?)_

(Galzus' left side suddenly explodes)

* * *

**Death Battle**

**(*Cues: Werewolf Therewolf - Bizarre Stars)**

**(Note: The characters speak Japanese, but their dialogue can be seen through subtitles)**

**Jotaro Kujo and his grandfather, Joseph Joestar, pass a dead squirrel as they walk in the desert and come across a pyramid. They hear an engine in the distance, revealed to be Jaune driving his car up to them.**

**_Joseph: OH NOOOO!_**

"Save that!" CC yelled from the background

"Why should we?" Blake asked

"Because memes!" Zex yelled out

**Jaune stops his vehicle right in front of the JoJo duo and forms a large dust cloud. Jotaro scoffs as he tips his cap downwards.**

**_Jotaro: Who are you?_**

**Jaune leaps from his car in front of the family as he has a menacing aura surrounding him. Joseph starts growling at the enemy, but his grandson places his hand in front of him.**

**_Jotaro: Wait old man!_**

**Jotaro then glares at the mysterious man and points at him.**

**_Jotaro: If you wanna go, I'll take you on._**

**Jaune starts cracking his knuckles and gets into his fighting stance.**

**_Jaune: Pick the place. It will be where you die._**

"Why are they instantly fighting each other? Jotaro didn't do anything." Ruby said finally questioning what is happening in these battles

"I don't think they care Rubes. After all It's very clear they just start fighting for no reason, I think that no one has a sense of negotiation or compromise in these things." Yang explained the obvious

**_Jotaro: You've got some balls!_**

**Joseph backs up and starts running off as the two warriors face each other.**

**FIGHT!**

**Jaune tries punching Jotaro, but Star Platinum blocks the punch, much to the former's confusion. Star Platinum then uppercuts Jaune into the nearby pyramid. Jaune leaps off the pyramid and prepares an aerial kick as Jotaro leaps towards him.**

"That had to hurt" Weiss said wincing at the uppercut

"Jaune can fly?!" Ruby said

"No, jump good" Blake stated making Zex bust out laughing

**_Jotaro: Star Platinum, The World!_**

**Jotaro avoids Jaune's kick and warps past him. The confused Jaune is knocked to the ground by Star Platinum. Kenshiro enhances his vision and manages to see Jotaro's stand behind him. The road warrior and stand then get into a fist flurry and counter each other blow for blow. Finally, Star Platinum wins out and lands a punch on Jaune's face before sending him flying with a powerful haymaker.**

**The stand performs his Star Finger technique to finish, but Jaune jumps out of the way before retaliating with a blast of Tōki aimed at Jotaro. Star Platinum intercepts and protects him. Jaune opts to fire a wave of Tōki this time, but once again, Star Platinum stands in the way to shield Jotaro before lunging forward with another punch. However, Jaune forms his mirages and evades the attack.**

**_Joseph: HOLY SHIT!_**

"And that one!" CC said chasing Deadpool down with a rabid Wolverine

"Where do they get those things?" Li Ren asked

"I don't know and I think its better we never find out." An Ren replied

"Yeah I don't want to end up as crazy as him." Ruby stated

"Okay, but do you see what Jaune is doing! It's like so many Jaune's!" Nora exclaimed

"Nora I think those are mirages things that would be used to distract his opponent so the real one can figure out how to get in close and attack him." Ren explained

"I still wonder how there are so many realities of Jaune. Is he liked by that many people?" Pyhrra asked

"I think its more of on the lines of that Jaune has so many possibilities in the eyes of these editors. Perhaps these guys keep track of every world they come across and some edit it. I think some are more of trickster

**The mirages leap forward and rush at Star Platinum, who manages to fend them off while Jotaro backs away from the action. However, amidst the action, the real Jaune leaps at Jotaro, now defenseless, and thrusts his arm for a deadly strike. Jotaro manages to lean back and avoid the attack, and any further follow-ups are stopped when Star Platinum grabs Jaune and throws him, but he lands on his feet and joins his mirages. They leap forward once more and all perform the Tenha Kassatsu, firing beams of Tōki from their fingers. Star Platinum is unaffected as per usual, while Jotaro dodges the rest. He then summons his stand to his side.**

"Wait what is Jotaro about to do?" Yang asked

**_Jotaro: Star Platinum!_**

**Jotaro performs another Time Stop just before he can be struck with the Tōki beams, freezing Jaune and Joseph in their places.**

A wave of energy came out of the screen as they turned around to see Zex, Deadpool, and CC frozen in time. Deadpool was giving Zex a wedgie with CC holding a club over Deadpool's head about to crash it against his skull.

"Man they really hate each other don't they?" Yang asked with a sweat drop

"How did they get frozen in time?" Summer asked

**_"That would be my doing" Said the screen "I figured it would be a bit more immersive if they too were frozen in time"_**

"Oh well thank you" Summer said finally feeling her headache leaving

_**"You are very welcome"**_

**_Joseph: OH MY GOOOO-_**

**Jotaro steps away from the beams and Star Platinum locates the real Jaune. He then places his hand around his heart, preparing to crush it. However, the 5 seconds of the Time Stop have almost elapsed.**

**_Jotaro: Time's about to move._**

**The Time Stop runs out and time returns to its normal speed, also allowing Joseph to finish his exclamation.**

**_Joseph: -OOOD!_**

"That one too!" CC said as the club finally cracked Deadpool in the head

**The beams aimed at Jotaro miss completely and Star Platinum clenches his fist to crush Jaune's heart. However, Jaune uses Musō Tensei and phases away from the fatal blow, appearing behind Jotaro. The Fist of the North Star then famously declares to Jotaro:**

**_Jaune: Omae wa mou shindeiru. (You are already dead.)_**

"Wait how did Jaune win?" Blake asked

**A flashback occurs and it is revealed that when Jaune attempted to strike Jotaro, he was just barely able to tap the stand user's chest. **

"Oh shit" Sun said with wide eyes

"He dead!" Cardin yelled

**But that tap was all that was needed as Star Platinum fades away and Jotaro's body starts convulsing. As every one of Jaune's victims has said before, Jotaro says in shock:**

**_Jotaro: NANI!? (WHAT!?)_**

**-before finally exploding, leaving nothing but his blood on the ground. Joseph looks on in horror as Jaune grunts and walks away.**

**_Joseph: SON OF A BITCH!_**

"And lastly that one!" CC yelled

**KO!**

* * *

**Results**

**_Jaune continues walking away, leaving Joseph to mourn the death of his grandson, whose spirit in the afterlife simply tips his hat down._**

**_Jotaro: Good grief..._**

(*Cues Bizarre Stars again)

**Boomstick: Whoa, wait, what just happened?**

"Yes can you please explain!" Winter yelled with a major headache

**_Wiz: Well, all Jaune needed to do to win was just get one hit in, but this matchup was far closer than that makes it seem._**

"While harder to achieve against such an enemy, it makes him all the more deadly." Taiyang nodded in agreement

**Boomstick: Of course it was! Jaune spent the whole time-fighting Star Platinum, who he couldn't even see. Lucky for him, once he figured that out, his ability to sense other fighting auras allowed him to keep track of SP, but no matter what he did, Jaune isn't a Stand user, so he couldn't actually hurt Star Platinum.**

_Popup: Jaune has seen and fought opponents who he can only detect by sensing their fighting spirit. Stands are officially described as physical manifestations of "fighting spirit."_

_**Wiz: Then again, Star Platinum's own strength wasn't quite enough to hurt Jaune much either. One of Star Platinum's greatest strength feats involves breaking and throwing a small section of a building. In comparison, Jaune broke an entire building, let it fall on him, and acted like it wasn't even there.**_

"So in order for Jotaro to win Star Platinum would need to hit with a force greater than anything Jaune has ever gone against?" Ruby asked

"That is the most likely reason" Weiss aggreed

_Popup: Star Platinum's distance limitations meant chasing down Jaune wasn't a viable option, giving Jaune plenty of safe space to operate from._

**Boomstick: Also, while Jotaro may be skilled in deducing his enemy's weaknesses and strategies in mid-fight, Jaune's skills, durability, and straightforward approach meant there really wasn't anything for him to pick apart here.**

_Popup: Jaune has survived potentially fatal wounds more intense than Star Platinum typically delivers._

_**Wiz: Jaune did have trouble with Jotaro's time stopping and Star Platinum's speed, however, with his awesome durability plus additional intangibility when using Muso Tensai, Jaune survived the Time Stops, and the Time Stop's cooldowns between uses gave Jaune enough time to work around them.**_

"Yeah, Jaune was just being straight forward and trying to punch him" Yang said as everyone looked at her "What?"

"Yang YOU do that. I think that's why Zex said you and your dad are WAY to predictable" Blake deadpanned as Yang looked sheepish

"Yeah, I can't defend against that" Yang admitted

_Popup: Multiple beings have taken advantage of Time Stop's limits. Stand user Bug Eaten used the environment to trick Jotaro into getting hurt despite use of Time Stop._

**Boomstick: The Time Stop has been worked around by foes in Jotaro's past before, and as far as speed was concerned, Jaune may not have been faster than Star, but a mix of Muso Tensai and mirage clones were more than enough to get by. And let's be real, Jotaro never stood a chance against Jaune by himself!**

"Let's see, one was trained since childhood to become a grandmaster of a DEADLY martial art while the other is a delinquent who just punches you. Yeah it's pretty obvious who would win" Winter said with a blank face

**_Wiz: In the end, both combatants had plenty of advantages, but Jaune's techniques and overwhelming power ended this fight._**

**Boomstick: JoJo didn't "Stand" a chance.**

Everyone groaned, yes including Deadpool, as Taiyang, Yang, and Zex laughed.

**_Wiz: The winner is Jaune._**

* * *

"I hope you all enjoyed that!" Zex said with a smile as a katana was sticking out of his side

"it was enjoyable" Winter said when they suddenly heard a sound of footsteps walking throughout beacon.

"What is that?" Ruby asked scared as Zex smiled while CC looked at him

"Is this that other guest you told me about?" CC asked

"Why yes it is my dragon friend!" Zex said as he gestured to the door as Neptune flew threw the room screaming and going through the wall with a body cut out

"Ouch" Glynda said with a wince

Everyone looked at the door to see something that they were intimidated by. There stood before them was a man of average height. He was wearing black robes with red trims, armored shoulder pads, and a metal belt decorated with cloth sashes. His face was covered by a mask reminiscent of a skull. On his belt was an odd metal pipe. His skin was a vibrant red with yellow eyes.

"Imperius you made it!" Zex exclaimed

"Took a little longer than I wanted. Seriously how the hell did you make a FUCKING SNAKE BIGGER THAN A DAMN GALAXY?!" Imperius asked annoyed

"Magic" Zex said with a smile

Imperius looked at him then shocked him with force lighting. Zex's skeleton was shown as it flickered back and forth.

Zex fell flat on his face as Imperius yelled out "DODGE!"

"Um?" Weiss started to say with uncertainty

"Oh hello" Imperius said "I assume you are the group he is messing with"

"Everyone say hello to my friend Darth Imperius!" Zex said with a smile and somehow instantly healed

"Hi/Hello/Greetings/Sup" were the various responses

"Pleasure" Imperius said as he turned his gaze to CC

"You must be the one helping him out as well" Imperius said

"I am, he can still be a handful at times. I mean this place is chaotic when he is around." CC stated

"How so?" Imperius asked when The Mask ran by while being chased by Ghost Rider "Nevermind"

"Yeah so you can see why he needs help now don't you." CC said as he stuck out his arm knocking down The Mask

"Yes I do, how do you put up with this insanity?" Imperius asked with a slight twitch

"When you work with this guy you kinda get used to it, plus it does help me blow off some steam from time to time." CC explained

"Glad to hear it, now let's get started on the next reality" Imperius said turning his gaze to the screen

"Why do I get the overwhelming feeling that I should run?" Ozpin asked himself

* * *

**INTRO **

(*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*)

_**Wiz: For some action heroes, it's not enough to just save the world.**_

**Boomstick: They've gotta look good doing it!**

"HA!" Zex laughed

"HELL YEAH THEY DO!" Coco yelled out to the amusement of Fox

"Its important to look your best, especially when you are saving the world." CC said with a chuckle

"I don't get why you have to look good while you doing it though?" Cardin said making everyone raise an eyebrow

"You have no class Mr. Winchester, the side that is remembered is the side with the most style" Ironwood said

"Or the side that is not dead" Qrow retorted making Zex bust a gut laughing

"Something is wrong with him." Glynda said scooting away from Zex

_**Wiz: Jaune "Dante" Sprada, the Devil Hunter.**_

"I prefer the real Dante" CC said as Imperius smirked

"Ah, Dante. A demon slayer. I've looked over his resume, and if I could, I'd recruit him for the Empire. His strength would certainly help against the Zakuul Empire." Imperius said

"Why didn't you call me?" Zex asked "I could bring them all along too and we can fight together" he gestured to the audience

"Because I don't want you turning them into psychopaths like you" Imperius deadpanned

"I'm not that bad" Zex said

"You torture Neptune like everyday." Weiss said with a blank expression

A montage began showing Neptune blown up, stabbed, thrown, broken, burned, and even chased by random creatures.

"oh" Zex said sheepishly

**Boomstick: And Bayonetta, the Umbra Witch. **

All the guys began to blush at the woman on screen.

"Are those guns on the back of her legs?" Yang asked confused

**He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

_**Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills, to find out who would win... a Death Battle.**_

* * *

(*Cues: Devils Never Cry - Devil May Cry 3*)

**_Wiz: Take a walk down Slum Avenue and you'll find all sorts of hangouts for the scum of the underworld. The Bullseye Bar, a random strip club, and even a run-down service shop called "Devil May Cry."_**

"I wonder what the story is behind the name?" Ruby asked as the editors all looked at each other with grins

"Because even a Devil May Cry" Zex said putting on a pair of sunglasses

Imperius smacked him on the back of the head "Corner now."

"What! Im not-" Imperius pulled out his saberstaff and pointed at him "GET IN THE FUCKING CORNER!" "OKAY! OKAY!"

"What is your secret?" Yang asked as she never seen Zex move so fast in his life

"Sweetie" Summer started making Yang turn to her "its called having authority" Summer said with a sweet smile that made the editors freeze in fear

"NOPE!" CC jumped out a window that randomly appeared

Zex ran through the wall as Imperius used the force to run out of the door.

"How did you do that mom?" Ruby asked

"It's called being a mother dear. No matter how powerful a man can be, you always fear a mothers wrath" Giggled Summer as the boys shivered as they each remembered when they each pissed off their moms. Not a very fun time.

**Boomstick: But the services they're selling aren't like washing your car or fixin' your plumbing. Oh no! Long as you got the cash, this shop specializes in delivering demonic beatdowns. Who's crazy enough to try and make a living this way you ask? His name is Jaune "Dante" Sparda.**

"So Jaune is a demon hunter? Awesome!" Ruby said with a sparkle in her eyes

"I wonder how many demons Jaune has hunted?" Blake wondered

"Probably a lot" Ren said as Zex popped his head through the hole he made

"Is it safe to come in now?"

(*Cues: Lock & Load - Devil May Cry*)

_**Wiz: From the very beginning, Dante's life was always unusual. Born from the unholy union of a human mother and demon father, Dante and his twin brother Vergil had their first supernatural encounter at the young age of eight.**_

"Wait what does that mean?" Winter asked

**Boomstick: Yeah, see, his demon dad was a badass who singlehandedly conquered the underworld and imprisoned its demon emperor, Mundus. But after Dad died, Mundus' minions felt brave enough to take some revenge, by slaughtering his family, leaving Dante an orphan. Bummer. Hate it when that happens.**

"What is it with the heroes becoming orphans at some point?" Scarlet asked

"Because they need to make it hurt in their life when they are children unfortunately" Blake said remembering these types of stories

**_Wiz: With his mother gone and his brother assumed dead, Dante was left with only one option: Become the ultimate demon hunter, and perpetuate the cycle of vengeance._**

_Dante: This party's getting crazy! Let's rock!_

_Dante struggles to turn on his boombox until he karate chops it._

Everyone started laughing at how the jukebox didn't work while Blake only thought one thing.

"_I want him_"

(*Cues: Devils Never Cry - Devil May Cry 3 again*)

_**Wiz: Despite the dangerous nature of his occupation, Dante always maintains a carefree spirit when dispatching devils of the underworld.**_

**Boomstick: It's part of his charm. Hell, when you've got abilities like Dante's, why not be a little cocky? He's faster than the mortal eye can see, strong enough to grapple with the underworld's toughest demons, and straight-up man enough to shake off being stabbed through the chest like every god damn day!**

"Wait what?" Glynda asked

**_Wiz: That's thanks to his regenerative ability. In fact, all of that is made possible due to his demonic heritage, and made even more deadly by his plethora of weapons, his favorites being his dual pistols and enormous sword._**

The girls all started to giggle.

"God damn it" Zex said

**Boomstick: Like any proud weapon owner, he gives his tools of destruction pet names. His guns, Ebony and Ivory, specialize in long-range shots and rapid-fire barrages respectively. These hand canons are so powerful they can each obliterate demons in a single shot. **

(*Cues: Taste the Blood - Devil May Cry 3*)

_Dante shoots off Echidna's head without looking._

_Dante: I think that look suits you better._

**Boomstick: Rebellion is a large, magical sword given to him by his pops, which can cut any demon down to size in the blink of an eye. He's also got his brother's sword, Yamato, which can cut through dimensions!**

"Jaune has a sword that can cut through DIMENSIONS! That is awesome!" Nora said excitedly

"I wonder who his brother is?" Ren wondered

"It starts with a R and ends with an N" CC said with a chuckle

"HUH!?" Ren yelled out

_**Wiz: Throughout his adventures, Dante also collected a wide assortment of additional weaponry called Devil Arms, physical manifestations of powerful demons he has defeated.**_

**Boomstick: Remember Mega Man? It's that, but on steroids.**

"Who?" Yang asked

"No one" Zex replied with a smirk

_**Wiz: His armored Gilgamesh gauntlets increase his striking power, letting him shatter huge monoliths with a lethal one-inch punch.**_

**Boomstick: With Lucifer- the backpack, not the devil- Dante basically throws infinite lightsabers. He's also got an electric guitar, which is literally electric, ice powered nunchucks, grenade launchers, shotguns, and, I kid you not, a briefcase that can transform into 666 different weapons, ranging from a giant Beyblade to a flying turret gun. He even has a Cowboy hat named Dr. Faust! **

"What can a hat do?" Weiss asked

**They watched as Dr. Faust flew out of his hand and onto his head. They saw a long red scarf formed around his neck. A light suddenly came on as he stood there in a Micheal Jackson pose and began to dance. He continued his homage with the same sounds and as he finished sparks came from out of no where as he finished with a pose.**

"That was ridiculous" Winter said pinching the bridge of her nose

"That's our Jaune" Ruby said giggling

"And that's the Dante we know!" Imperius said with a laugh

**Where does he possibly keep all this stuff?**

_**Wiz: Really, really deep pockets, or perhaps it's one of his Styles, abilities he's also acquired from defeating demon bosses. With Doppelganger Style, he can duplicate himself, with Trickster Style, he can teleport instantly, with Royalguard Style, he becomes a nigh-impervious dreadnaught, and he can even slow down time with the Quicksilver Style.**_

"He can stop time again!?" Ironwood yelled

"Why is all the Jaunes we have seen so damn powerful and weird?" Sun asked

(*Cues: Blackened Angel (Battle) - Devil May Cry 4

**Boomstick: On the rare occasion Dante feels he needs to get serious, he enters the Devil Trigger, a transformation which taps into his demonic heritage to unleash his true devil form. Devil Trigger dramatically increases his strength, speed, and healing power, and he can fly!**

"I want that form" Ironwood said

"No, no form for you." Ozpin said

"For once I like you Ozpin" Imperius said

_**Wiz: Being so well-armed, Dante is more than capable of handling entire courts of demons on his own, although this doesn't stop some of his allies from joining in from time to time. This includes Trish, a demon lady who occasionally fights alongside him, and happens to resemble his deceased mother... talk about giving somebody an Oedipus complex.**_

**Boomstick: Hey, if I may quote an old family saying, "If she's not directly related, she's safe to be dated".**

**_Wiz/Weiss: That explains a lot._**

"Why am I not surprised" Glynda said with a sigh

**_Luckily, and quite surprisingly, that avenue was never explored, thank God._**

(*Cues: Shall Never Surrender - Devil May Cry 4*)

**Boomstick: Dante is a walking, talking, feat achieving machine. One time, after getting impaled by four demons at once, he pushed one so hard, it exploded and dropped a ceiling fan on the other three, all while eating a slice of pizza. Oh, and when their friends showed up, he challenged them to a game of billiards.**

_Dante fires a bullet from his gun to knock the balls into the demons, knocking them out cold._

**Boomstick: He won.**

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!" Yang yelled

"Who is sherlock?" Blake asked

"I don't know" Yang said as Imperius and CC glared at Zex

"WHAT!"

**_Wiz: Dante has run down the side of a building so fast he caught fire, similar to a spacecraft reentering the atmosphere at approximately 17,000 miles per hour._**

**Boomstick: And he's even capable of taking out others just as overpowered as himself. like his brother Vergil, who was not dead, but evil.**

"WHY AM I EVIL!?" Ren yelled

_**Wiz: He stopped a colossal punch from this titanic monster without breaking a sweat, shrugged off bombardment by meteors, and eventually avenged his mother by defeating the demon lord Mundus, in space.**_

"As long as its not that damn leprechaun" Zex said with a sigh

**Boomstick: You may be asking yourself, "Can anything stop this guy?" Yes. Dante does have a limit to how much punishment he can take, but if there's anything that could take him down, it's his own cocky attitude.**

**_Wiz: In the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi, "There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent."_**

"That is so true" Taiyang said as Li Ren nodded in agreement

**Boomstick: I'm gonna have to disagree with old Laozi here. I'm pretty sure there's no greater danger than telling a woman those pants do, in fact, make her ass look fat.**

"FUCK YOU BOOMSTICK!" The girls yelled

"Well I mean" Neptune started as Imperious grew furious and threw him across the room and electrocuting his groin as Dashade, also known as Khem Val, began to chase Neptune while he was on a unicycle.

"Zex I do not like this version of Neptune." Imperious stated with an angry expression

"Yeah I have been meaning to replace this version of him with a better one." Zex said

"Then why haven't you?" Yang asked

"Because it's fun to torture this one!" Zex laughed

"You can still torture this one while having a better one here dumbass" CC said

"Oh yeah" Zex stated

_Sid: You bastard!_

_He runs at Dante and leaps at him, Dante aims his gun at Sid._

_Dante: And jackpot._

"And there is the famous line" CC stated

_He fires, striking Sid._

* * *

**BAYONETTA**

(*Cues: Advent of the Angels I - Bayonetta*)

**_Wiz: From the angels of Paradiso to the demons of Inferno, there is a name feared by both the light and the dark, and her name... is Bayonetta._**

"YES!" Imperious exclaimed "Bayonetta is one of my favorite Smash Bros. characters to play as!"

"She is really beautiful" Weiss said in awe

"I can't believe such beauty exist" Ozpin stated as it reminded him of Salem

(*Cues: Tokyo Game Show - Bayonetta*)

**Boomstick: To any normal guy walking down the street, she may look like your average seven-foot-tall **

"SHE IS SEVEN-FEET-TALL!?" Glynda exclaimed

"It must be so hard to find clothes in her size" Winter said in sympathy

"She has an amazing sense of fashion" Coco said as Velvet nodded in agreement

**gargantuan amazon woman with good fashion sense (Coco: I just said that!), but Bayonetta is actually one of the last Umbra Witches, a clan of mystics allied with demon-kind.**

**_Wiz: Named Cereza upon birth, she spent her early life growing up in outcast due to her parents being from rival clans, her father, a Lumen Sage, and her mother, an Umbra Witch._**

**Boomstick: See, the Sages and Witches had one rule to follow: Don't make babies with the opposite clan, because according to prophecy, it would bring on the destruction of the universe. So naturally, it was only a matter of time before somebody couldn't keep it in their pants. (sighs) Pulling out works every time, but the last time.**

"Why am I not surprised Boomstick said that." An Ren said with a blank expression

"So she is the reason the Umbra Witches are nearly destroyed, perhaps she should have been killed the moment she was born." Ironwood stated

Darth Imperius grew angered by Ironwood's way of thinking, but he wasn't about to waste his Lightsaber on this tin man.

"Why you...!"

The Lord of the Sith jumped at Ironwood as a cartoon dust cloud materialized with shouts of pain coming from Ironwood and various profanities being yelled by Imperius. The two rolled along the floor in their dust cloud before going through a door that shut behind them.

"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAAOOOOOHHHHH!" shrieked Ironwood.

All was silent as the video paused. Nobody dared to make a sound as they wondered if the General of the Atlas Military was dead now. They got their answer when the man poked his head through the door.

"Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on." Ironwood said.

As he walked through the door, everyone recoiled back in shock while Qrow, Summer, Yang, Taiyang, Winter, and even Glynda, tried to hold back their giggles. Zex and CC were on the floor laughing at this point. The man's entire upper body has been shoved into a trombone! A series of A & B flat notes played with each step he took before he took his seat again. But as the sliding handle of the trombone slid down, Ironwood opened his mouth releasing a final note. Darth Imperius returned and took his seat as he dusted his hands off.

"Sorry you had to witness that, folks." Imperius said

"DO IT AGAIN!" Zex yelled out while laughing

(*Cues: Friendship - Bayonetta *)

**_Wiz: You would know. With the pact now broken, war ensued between the two factions, in the end, only two witches survived; Cereza, and her rival/future friend Jeanne. Hoping to prevent the apocalypse, Jeanne used a special dagger to seal away Cereza's memories and put her into a five hundred year-long coma._**

**Boomstick: When Cereza woke up from her epic power nap, she took on her new name, Bayonetta, and set out to find her lost memories. Luckily for her, she had just the right weapon for the job: her hair!**

"Say what now?" Sun said shocked

(*Cues: Love is Blue Equipped - Bayonetta 2*)

**_Wiz: As an Umbra Witch, not only does her hair serve as her clothing-_**

**Boomstick: Which I'm having a really hard time deciding whether or not that's hot, or just disgusting.**

"Disgusting" Sun said

"How so?" Yang asked

"Because who uses hair as clothes!" Sun said

**_Wiz: She can also use it to summon the demon Madama Butterfly to aid her in battle. This technique; the Wicked Weaves, creates portals for the giant demon to deliver devastating punches and kicks._**

**Boomstick: Bayonetta can also walk on walls and ceilings with Witch Walk, and even transform into animals to fly, run super fast, and dodge attacks.**

**_Wiz: But her most useful technique is Witch Time. By slowing down time itself, Bayonetta can dodge practically anything while unleashing a barrage of attacks._**

"Oh great she can stop time too!" Qrow yelled out exasperated

(*Cues: One of A Kind - Bayonetta*)

**Boomstick: Bayonetta is basically a tall, sexy armory. She wields gauntlets called Durga which attack with fire and electricity, a huge scythe that rots the souls of its victims, and a freaking lightsaber called Pillow Talk. She has a bow that fires poison arrows, a chainsaw made of dragon scales, a massive hammer that can cause earthquakes with every strike, and even ice skates which attack with ice. Obviously.**

_**Wiz: But her most beloved weapons are her four pistol set called Love Is Blue. Rather than swap between them like a normal person, she somehow manages to wield all of them at once by using not only her hands, but also her feet.**_

**Boomstick: How does that work? Does she have like, some kinda weird thumbs on her ankles or something? That would kinda detract from the hotness factor just a bit-OH MY GOD! She's covered in hair, and she uses her feet like hands... she's a monkey! MONKEY WITCH!**

_Bayonetta: This is awkward..._

"Are you kidding me Boomstick" Winter said with an eye twitch

"How stupid is he!? It's clearly her using magic!" Weiss yelled out

"I mean it is possible" Imperius said

**_Wiz: I highly doubt that. She probably just uses some sort of magic (Weiss: SEE! Even Wiz agrees with me!). Speaking of magic, when Bayonetta wants to unleash her full potential, she triggers her 'Umbran Climax.'_**

"HA!" Zex laughed as a chair was thrown at him

**Boomstick: *Chuckles***

"Damn it Boomstick" Glynda said

**_Wiz: ...Which increases her strength and lets her summon Madama Butterfly's full unrestrained power. When fully unleashed, Madama Butterfly can shatter huge meteors by headbutting them._**

"That is one powerful demon" Velvet said with wide eyes

**Boomstick: Ah, climax.**

"Fucking damn it" Winter said with a twitch

(*Cues: Fly Me To The Moon (Climax) - Bayonetta*)

**Boomstick: By herself, Bayonetta has pulled off some impressive feats. She's strong enough to kick military jets into the air, headbutt skyscrapers across the city, and even throw satellites with her legs in outer space. Oh, by the way, she can survive outer space.**

_**Wiz: Using Witch Time, she was able to defeat this thing in only a matter of real-time seconds. Even without Witch Time, her reaction speed is astronomical! For example, when a Lumen Sage stopped time to position newly fired bullets about three feet behind her, she managed to not only turn and identify the incoming threat, but also dodge all 16 of them. Considering regular bullets travel around 2,500 feet per second, she must have pulled all that off in less than 1,000th of a second.**_

**Boomstick: And then there's that one time, when she killed God. You know, by scissoring (The Girls: YOU ARE DOING THAT ON PURPOSE!) her hair with Jeanne's and punching the creator's soul across the entire solar system into the sun!**

**_Wiz: Okay, obviously Bayonetta's feats and abilities are absolutely ridiculous, but she is sometimes rather inconsistent._**

"Okay how is she inconsistent?" Qrow asked curious

**Boomstick: Despite her reaction time, she's been caught off guard by enemies ranging from a half-god called Lobster or something like that, and even a plant monster that managed to grab her out of the air.**

_**Wiz: But regardless of whatever weaknesses she may have, Bayonetta's achieved more than anyone could possibly imagine, despite being 100% human.**_

**Boomstick/Neptune: Wait, she IS human?! Dibs.**

"Yeah no." Imperius said as he chucked him across the room

_Bayonetta: All right, let's dance baby._

* * *

**BATTLE**

**(*Cues: Out of Darkness (Prologue) - Devil May Cry 4*)**

**Dante arrives on the top of a very tall clock tower, which contains a chapel inside. He sees a tall chair in the middle with a small Bayonetta doll and picks it up to examine it. While looking at it, Cereza arrives (dressed in priestess attire) while holding a book.**

**_Bayonetta: Another wandering lost soul I see?_**

**Dante is impressed by the woman's looks, and tosses the doll back onto the chair while walking over to talk to her.**

"Wow she is pretty stealthy when she wants to be huh?" Winter said shocked

"Well she did fight demons for a long time so it's not surprising she needed to pick up on some stealth skills" Blake explained

"She looks more of the run and gun type of person though" Sun said

"Maybe but she is fighting demons who look usually four times bigger than her" Blake said as she returned her attention to the fight

**_Dante: Lost? Nah. I'm looking for something called the Left Eye. Care to give me a hand? Could be fun._**

**_Bayonetta: Hmph, I see. But if you're looking for the Left Eye, that would either make you an angel..._**

**(*Cues: Genocide - Devil May Cry *)**

**Bayonetta holds out her book and Dante walks over thinking she's offering it to him, but she starts shooting at him. They both try shooting as she leaps over Dante and takes off her priestess outfit revealing her true clothes. They both get into a gridlock after firing a few shots and she winks at her opponent, with the Left Eye flashing.**

**_Bayonetta:... or a demon!_**

"Well your not wrong there Bayonetta" Yang said

**FIGHT!**

**They both exchange blows of gun-fu before Bayonetta uses Madama Butterfly's foot to kick Dante to the floor. Dante quickly gets up. They fire more bullets and Dante ends up catching one in his mouth that he spits out. Bayonetta laughs as she avoids Dante's bullets while firing her own. Dante leaps high into the air to avoid as his opponent follows suit and grips him between her legs (similar to Dante's fight with Nero in DMC4). He escapes her grip and the two kick each other backwards.**

**(*Cues: Blackened Angel (Battle) - Devil May Cry 4*)**

**Dante lands as Bayonetta gets out Kafka and aims at him.**

**_Bayonetta: Take this!_**

**Dante avoids the arrows at first and then slashes them while firing more bullets. He charges at Bayonetta with Rebellion. She dodges it and uses Witch Time.**

**_Bayonetta: Too slow~_**

"Did she just..." Weiss said with wide eyes

"I think she did" Taiyang said shocked

**She uses the slowed down time to land multiple hits on Dante with her hair and uppercuts him. She uses a Madama Butterfly kick to send him into the Iron Maiden, which closes and traps him while impaling him in multiple places.**

**_Bayonetta: Mmm, what a disappointing finish..._**

"Oh my oum, is she doing that on purpose!" Coco said shocked

**Bayonetta starts walking off, but Dante breaks out of the Torture Attack while brushing his shoulder.**

**_Dante: That all you got, sister?_**

**Bayonetta giggles as she takes out the Rakshasa.**

**_Bayonetta: Ah. Looks like you're more of a man than I thought!_**

"She is" Ruby confirmed

**_Dante: C'mon!_**

**Dante sends multiple energy waves out of his sword which knocks over multiple chairs in the chapel. Bayonetta dodges all of them and activates Witch Time for the last attack. She charges at Dante, but Dante activates Quicksilver allowing him to fight at her speed in time to counter her and send her back.**

**_Bayonetta: What?_**

**_Dante: Haven't used this in a while. Still got it!_**

"Does it really work like that?" An Ren asked

"I don't know honey" Li Ren said confused as well

**They clash their swords multiple times before Dante sends her back and kicks a chair her way.**

**_Dante: In the money!_**

**Bayonetta slashes the multiple chairs her way but is caught off guard by a chair that hits her in the back of the head, as a result of Dante teleporting behind her.**

**_Dante: Ha ha ha! Jackpot!_**

**_Bayonetta: You're a naughty boy hitting a girl like that. You need to be taught a lesson!_**

"All's fair in love and war" CC said

**Bayonetta takes out Arluna and clashes with Dante using the whip with Rakshasha on her feet.**

**_Dante: Ho ho ho! Now this is what I'm talking about!_**

**_Bayonetta: If you liked that, you're gonna love this. Avavago!_**

**Bayonetta summons Gomorrah, which roars at the white-haired demon hunter. Dante salutes with a smug look as the large demon devours him. Dante isn't chewed up and opens up the large monster's jaw from the inside.**

**_Dante: Phew! Your breath stinks!_**

"Then give it Tic Tac" Zex said

"Or ya' know a mint" Weiss said exasperated

"That is what a Tic Tac is." Deadpanned Zex

"Different. World." Imperius reminded

"Oh yeah"

**Dante escapes from the demon's mouth and takes it down with a few slashes of Rebellion. Bayonetta takes out Takemikazuchi and tries slamming Dante, who blocks is using Gilgamesh. The blow sends them to the next floor of the building. Dante quickly activates Quicksilver again as Cereza sneaks up on him with a blow with Rakshasha and they both point their weapons at each other.**

**(*Cues: Max Anarchy OST- Find You*)**

**_Bayonetta: This is where we part ways, love._**

**_Dante: After you._**

"Why does it feel like they are flirting!" Qrow yelled

**Trish arrives on the scene driving her motorcycle towards the center to intervene.**

**_Trish: Dante!_**

**Dante pushes Bayonetta back as Trish sends the cycle towards his opponent. Bayonetta stands there as Jeanne appears to kick the bike back at Trish, who slashes it in half with Sparda, resulting in an explosion.**

**_Dante: C'mon Trish, you missed!_**

**_Trish: Oh, don't be a baby. Let's finish her off!_**

"Giggty" Quagmire said

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE!?" Zex yelled as all three entities tackled him

**The Devil May Cry team gets ready to fight.**

**_Bayonetta: Jeanne._**

**_Jeanne: Cereza. Having some guy trouble?_**

**_Bayonetta: Not to worry, I've got this one handled._**

**_Trish: Wait, we're getting paid for this one, right?_**

**Dante shakes his head and starts running.**

**_Dante: C'mon!_**

"Yeah you don't need money for every little thing" Yang said

"Food, water, shelter, and clothes you CLEARLY don't need money for huh?" Weiss said with a smirk

"Don't patronize me" Yang replied

**Trish tosses her scythe at Bayonetta, who hits it back with her hammer. Dante then starts trading blows with Jeanne before Trish comes to assist him. She electrocutes Jeanne, allowing the two to perform a team attack on her.**

**_Trish: This is gonna hurt!_**

**As Jeanne's knocked back, Bayonetta takes out Chernobog which clashes with Dante's gauntlets. Dante takes out Agni and Rudra to slash at her before calling his partner.**

**_Dante: Trish!_**

**_Trish: Bye-bye!_**

**Trish kicks Bayonetta with an electric kick and clashes with Jeanne again, this time wielding the Angel Slayer. Jeanne tries slashing Dante who manages to punch her with his gauntlets.**

**_Dante: What's wrong? Can't keep up?_**

"STOP WITH THE INNUENDOS!" Glynda yelled

"That wasn't one though" Ruby said innocently

"How are you this innocent after having a night of passion WITH JAUNE?" Ironwood asked as he finally got out of the trombone

"Don't question it" Taiyang said with a chuckle

**Trish tries kicking Bayonetta, but Cereza turns into multiple bats and activates Witch Time to kick both Dante and Trish back.**

**_Bayonetta: So close._**

**She nearly hits them with an uppercut from Madama Butterfly. The two Umbra Witches assume a stance as Dante takes out Pandora, which morphs into a missile chair and fires just as Trish uses Maximum Voltage. Bayonetta and Jeanne turn into panthers to avoid all the attacks and jump out of the window onto a falling clock. Their opponents follow suit.**

**(*Cues: Bayonetta 2 - Aesir*)**

**Jeanne clashes with Trish and her flying sword.**

**_Jeanne: Where'd you get that outfit, a thrift store?_**

**_Trish: You're one to talk, that color looks terrible on you!_**

**_Trish levitates her sword to stab at Jeanne but misses._**

**_Jeanne: Ugh, bitch!_**

**Jeanne kicks Trish off the clock and jumps after her. Dante sees his partner flying off.**

"Did she just insult her choice of clothes?" Velvet asked

"Yup and she retaliated with insulting the color of her said clothes" Coco said

**_Dante: Trish, wait!_**

**Bayonetta takes out Shuraba and takes advantage of the distraction.**

**_Bayonetta: Best pay attention, boy!_**

**The two demon hunters clash until Bayonetta teleports behind Dante. Dante teleports in response and activates his Devil Trigger mode. Bayonetta powers up and sends multiple Madama Butterfly punches at Dante, who blocks and dodges all the punches. Bayonetta then pulls her trump card by summoning the full Madama Butterfly, who charges up a powerful punch.**

**_Bayonetta: Pretty or not... don't fuck with a witch!_**

"CONTEXT" CC said

**Dante blocks the punch and sends a clone after the demon to kick it back. He then takes out Yamato and fires off one shockwave, which slices off Madama Butterfly's leg and causing it to fall on the remaining knee. Dante launches another shockwave, which passes through its head and sheathes Yamato, causing Madame Butterfly's head to explode. Bayonetta is shocked to see the demon go down.**

**_Bayonetta: No! That's not possible!_**

"Why do people always say that?" Cardin asked

"I guess because it was supposed to be impossible." Ren said

"But nothing is impossible!" Ruby yelled out

"So a human can sprout wings and fly?" Weiss said as Zex cleared his throat showing wings on his back

"Yes" Zex laughed

"Go to hell Zex!" Weiss retorted

**The two clash with each other until Dante is stabbed by Shuraba, taking him out of demon mode. One of Bayonetta's Love is Blue guns drops to the ground.**

**(*Cues: Burial Knocked Down Exhaustless Lucifer - Devil May Cry 4*)**

**As it turns out, both were stabbed with their respective swords. They step back, but while Dante shows no pain, Bayonetta is mortally wounded and falters back.**

**_Bayonetta: Augh, not possible..._**

**Dante activates Lucifer on his back. He throws the spike projectiles to the side and then upwards, all of which home in on Bayonetta and puncture her even more, leaving her screaming in severe pain.**

"That is a little over kill" Summer said with a wince

"And shooting a broken demonic sword repeatedly with arrows isn't?" Blake asked

** As she struggles to get up, Dante takes out a rose and gently tosses it at Yamato's handle.**

**_Dante: Bullseye._**

"What is that rose supposed to do?" Ruby asked

**The moment the rose hits the sword handle, Bayonetta explodes into bloody chunks. **

"Woah!/Holy Shit!" Yelled out the audience

"Can I do that?" Ruby asked

"I hope not!" Cardin yelled out

"Ruby you are a human, not an explosive rose. So I doubt you can do that" Weiss stated

**The clock finishes falling down and Dante lands in the streets of Fortuna as he reclaims his swords and sheathes them.**

**_Dante: How come I never meet any nice girls?_**

"Because dating is hard" Zex said with a sigh

**KO!**

* * *

**RESULTS **

**_Dante walks off with Shuraba still placed in his chest while Bayonetta's soul is dragged into Inferno._**

"I can't even be angry that was one fabulous fight" Imperius laughed heartily while clapping

"That is horrifying" Winter said holding onto Qrow

(*Cues: Forza del Destino - Devil May Cry 4*)

**Boomstick: Worst. Date. Ever!**

"HOW WAS THAT A DATE!?" The Audience all yelled out

**_Wiz: Yeah, they even lost their friends... I-I think? What happened to Trish and Jeanne? Are they still fighting?_**

**Boomstick: Well, I'll show you how I think it went down in my new show: DBX!**

"What idiot gave that bumbling, drunk, stupid, idiot his own show!?" Weiss yelled out

**_Wiz: Wait, what? Did you actually do analysis on your own?_**

**Boomstick: Heh heh, hell no! I'm just gonna make them fight!**

"Why am I not surprised" Weiss said with a sigh

_**Wiz: Ugh, you would. In what actually matters, it's true that Bayonetta's satellite throwing feat trumps any and all of Dante's physical displays of strength. However, Dante edges out in every other category.**_

**Boomstick: His arsenal matched and exceeded Bayonetta's blow for blow. Hell, even a giant demon like Madama Butterfly is nothing new to this demon slayer for hire. But most of all, Bayonetta didn't have many ways to actually kill him. I mean, the dude shrugs off mortal wounds every day like they were bug bites! Both can take a bullet, but unlike Dante when Bayonetta's stabbed, it hurts! That's why avoiding attacks was her specialty.**

"That makes a lot of sense. Considering Jaune could instantly heal from any form of damage it was near impossible for her to really kill him out right. She would have to wear down that ability first!" Glynda said in shock

**_Wiz: But she can only dodge for so long against somebody like Dante. Early in their careers, Dante and Vergil obliterated each and every raindrop in a twelve-foot radius, briefly creating a completely open space in a rainstorm. Up to 30 raindrops can occupy a cubic foot on average, meaning they destroyed 108,000 raindrops in less than a second. Without any extra abilities or styles. Even with Bayonetta's absurd reaction speed, Dante striking so much space in so little time far outclasses anything she's had to avoid._**

"That is impressive!" Yastuyashi said in shock

"Imagine trying to dodge a sword swing that fast." Fox said

"Try dodging a sword swing that can cleave through a damn building at blinding speed" Mumbled Zex

**Boomstick: Even when she tried avoiding him with Witch Time, Dante's Quicksilver evened the playing field, basically making it useless.**

**_Wiz: It was just a matter of time before Bayonetta suffered the fatal blow._**

"That does indeed suck to hear, but I have a feeling those two would be more on the lines of partners than enemies" An Ren said

**Boomstick: Well you know what they say, hair today, gone tomorrow.**

Everyone groaned expect Zex, Taiyang, and Yang who were laughing.

**_Wiz: The winner is Dante._**

* * *

"Well that was fun! Sadly I have to go now, I have to help Zex prepare a viewing for all of you as it does take some time and Zex would just blow it up on accident AGAIN." CC explained

"Do you really have to go?" Zex asked

"Yes I have to do that and work on some projects of mine. I'll be back once this is all ready!" CC said raising his hand

"Alright man! See you when its all ready high five!" Zex yelled about to give him a high five

"NO WAIT DON'T!" Imperius yelled out as they gave a high five sending out a shock wave

"Uh...oops" CC said "Im gonna go"

"Probably for the best" Zex agreed

CC used his arcane tentacles to shake Neptune like a soda can before he disappear in a tornado of papers and arcane energy.

"Well I have to make my leave as well." Imperius said

"Wh-" Zex stopped as he saw Imperius's armor cracked "Oh...sorry"

"It's alright just remember me and you are gonna invite me to another one of these" Imperius said with a glare

"I will! Just kinda hoped you will stick around a bit longer" Zex laughed nervously

"Oh no I'm just walking back to my ship to get my armor fixed. Shouldn't take too long" Imperius said as he walked towards the doors

Before he was about to exit the doors he suddenly sent a shockwave of Force Lightning at Ozpin, setting the man on fire before he started running around screaming like Squidward, but louder than Homer Simpson.

"BURN, SOUL PARASITE! BURN!"

When he was done Ozpin was a smoldering heap on the ground as he walked out the door.

"Are you okay Professor?" Ruby asked as Ozpin let out a high pitched moan

"I got ya Ozzy" Zex said as he snapped his fingers healing him

"What did I ever do to him?" Ozpin asked

"Oh he is one of the many editors in the multiverse who wanna murder you" Zex stated

"Oh" Ozpin gulped

"Don't worry he won't kill you because you are MY verison. If you were the prime version then you would be dead." Zex explained

"I'll keep that in mind as I try not to get on his bad side" Ozpin said quickly as Zex popped out of existance

* * *

**Finally I got this chapter out! Special thanks for SaurusRock625 and Compostcreator for joining me in this chapter! See y'all later!**


	20. New Neptune and SCPs?

**I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

Everyone was waiting for Zex to return. Suddenly the screen turned on with a message.

_**Sorry everyone I will be handling some stuff but while i am away there are a few realities you can watch! Also Neptune has been replaced with a better version! So don't worry about damage to the area! While I am away do as you please but DO NOT do anything that will cause me to have a headache when i return. Looking at you Ironwood. Remember I will only be gone as I deal with business so don't worry about anything! Have fun! **_

"So we get a long time where we don't worry about Zex?" Ruby asked shocked

"I guess he really needed to deal with this." Weiss said thinking out loud

"I wonder what it could be?" Blake said

"A Fuck Mothering Vampire!" Deadpool yelled out from the background

"Well, wait what's that?" Summer said as she pointed at the bottom of the screen

They all looked and they saw a timer. "I think that's telling us on how much free time we have before each new reality" Li Ren stated

"I guess we have a good few hours huh?" Coco said as she and Fox walked out of the room with mischievous smiles

"Can any one tell me what happened to your original version of me?" Neptune asked as Sun looked at him

"He was extremely self centered and only really wanted to get into Weiss's and any other girls pants. It's why I think Zex loved to torture him." Sun stated

"Wow, I am so sorry you guys had to deal with that" Neptune said with a sad smile

"You didn't do it so you are fine" Weiss said with a smile "But what were we like in your world?"

"In my world well...you guys were the same except that Jaune was extremely hated by everyone. I was his only real friend" Neptune stated

"What happened to your Jaune?" Yang asked curious

"One day one of the students decided it would be funny to throw him into the lake while I wasn't there. The worst part is they chained him to the bottom of the very lake. So when I finally got there it was too late." Neptune said while clenching his fist

"Oh my oum" Winter said as she placed her hand on her mouth in shock

"Were they punished?" Ozpin asked genuinely furious

"No, because he was a "Criminal who cheated his way in" they weren't punished by the council. They made it out like some harmless prank that went wrong! I did beat the shit out of them but that's not where it gets worse." Neptune paused as he steeled himself "Turns out someone actually someone decided to desecrate the grave I made him and use his body parts for a scavenger hunt!"

"WHAT!" They all yelled

"Yeah, Zex says my world is a more, as he puts it, "Fucked up world". I think he wants to completely erase it while sparing me." Neptune stated

"So how did you meet Zex?" Summer asked as Pyrrha walked out the room

"I was visiting Jaune's grave when I saw this man in a cloak holding Cardin by his throat. All I heard was a sickening crack as he fell limp. I looked around him and saw his entire team dismembered by this...tall pale human monster! The moment I saw its face, giant disfigured jaw and all, it fucking screamed like a human and charged at me! All I saw next was the cloaked figure snap his fingers as the man suddenly disappeared. He introduced himself as Zex and asked if I would like a better world where Jaune still lives. Its obvious what my answer was." Neptune said as they all looked at him

"But what was the monster you saw?"

**The Screen turns on**

"Wait what the-AHHHHHHH" Glynda yelled as they saw something on the screen

**It was a humanoid creature measuring approximately 2.38 meters in height. It shows very little muscle mass, with preliminary analysis of body mass suggesting mild malnutrition. Arms are grossly out of proportion with the rest of its body, with an approximate length of 1.5 meters each. Skin is mostly devoid of pigmentation, with no sign of any body hair. All they hear is crying from the creature as the camera remains a certain way.  
**

"That's the thing that attacked me!" Neptune yelled

"What the hell is that thing!?" Qrow yelled out

**SCP-096 AKA "SHY GUY"**

**OBJECT CLASS: EUCLID**

**MEANS OF** **ATTACK**:** AFTER SEEING SCP-096'S FACE IT WILL HUNT YOU DOWN EVEN DIVING ****████ DEEP TO GET IT'S TARGET. IT DOES NOT MATTER OF THE AGE OF THE SUBJECT. IT WILL HUNT THEM DOWN WITHOUT REMORSE AS IT HAND DONE TO A ****████ INFANT.**

"That thing did what!?" Ironwood yelled out

"What's with the weird bleeps?" An Ren asked

"I believe those are classified" Taiyang said trying to remain calm

**SCP-096 WILL RUN AT 35K/M TO **████ **K/M DEPENDING HOW FAR AWAY IT'S PREY IS. IT IS KNOW THAT SCP-096 HAS BATTLE SCP-682 TO A STANDSTILL. IT IS UNKNOWN THE ORIGINS OF SCP-096. IT ALSO DOES NOT APPEAR TO NEED ITS ORGANS TO FUNCTION AS IT SLAUGHTERED AN ENTIRE TEAM WHILE BEING TORN TO SHREDS BY BULLETS. THIS HAS SHOWN A HEALING FACTOR FAR STRONGER THAN A HUMAN. IT HAS EVEN BEEN REDUCED TO NOTHING BUT A SKELETON BUT STILL WAS ALIVE. ANY FORM OF TERMINATION HAS FAILED.**

"Wait so this thing can't die!?" Yastuyashi said with a dropped jaw

"Wait who is SCP-682?"

**SCP-682 IS A LARGE, VAGUELY REPTILE-LIKE CREATURE OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN****.**

**OBJECT CLASS: KETER**

**SCP-682 IS AN SCP THAT APPEARS TO HATE ALL OF HUMAN LIFE. IT HAS NO REGRETS ON KILLING A FARM OR AN ENTIRE TOWN AND HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT MANY TIMES.**

"Wait so that thing fought it too a standstill!?" Dove asked

**SCP-682 AKA "UNKILLABLE LIZARD" OR "THE TARSQUE" **

"Oh" Dove said sheepishly

"So two immortal entities fighting one another to a stalemate? I wonder how long that battle lasted?" Russel asked

**A LONG TIME**

"That is very vague" Sky stated

"I wonder what SCP means?" Ruby asked

**SCP STANDS FOR SECURE, CONTAIN, PROTECT. THE SCP FOUNDATION LOOKS FOR ANOMALOUS ENTITIES AND CONTAINS THEM. THEY PROTECT THE HUMAN RACE. WHILE THEY ARE UNKNOWN THEY HAVE THEIR OWN MILITARY UNITS ALWAYS AT THE READY TO BRING SCPS INTO CONTAINMENT. **

"Okay that's actually awesome!" Neptune stated

"Hey what do you think those "Object Classes" Means?" Scarlet asked

**THERE ARE MANY CLASSES WITHIN THE SCP FOUNDATION BUT HERE ARE FIVE OF THEM. **

**SAFE: THIS IS SELF EXPLANATORY. SCP-999 IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THIS.**

"SCP-999?" Ozpin asked with a raised brow

suddenly an orange slime with eyeballs comes out of no where and hugs Ozpin. As they all get ready to attack they hear him laughing

"Ah okay I see now! Who is the best SCP! You are!" Ozpin said with a smile as he was hugging SCP-999

"..." No one said a word

"What?" Ozpin asked

**EUCLIDS: THESE SCPS ARE UNKNOWN AND CONTAINMENT IS DIFFICULT. SCP-096 IS A MAJOR EXAMPLE OF THIS.**

"Oh that second sentence isn't good" Cardin gulped

**KETER: SCPS IN THIS CLASS CONSTANTLY ESCAPE CONTAINMENT. SCP-682 IS AN EXAMPLE OF THIS. ALSO NOT ALL SCPS IN THIS CLASS ARE DANGEROUS, THEY ARE JUST HARD TO CONTAIN.**

"Well that is good to know" Ironwood said as SCP-999 started acting like a puppy

"OH MY GOSH HE IS SO CUTE!" Ruby said as she begins to play with the orange slime

**THAUMIEL: THESE SCPS ARE USED TO CONTAIN OTHER SCPS. **

"They use other SCPs to contain SCPs?" Sage asked

"I guess so" Ironwood said with a glint in his eye

**NEUTRALIZED: THESE SCPs HAVE EITHER BEEN DESTORYED ON PURPOSE, ACCIDENT, OR SIMPLY DISABLED.**

"Dang! Let's be glad they never did that to 999!" Nora said as she was laying on 999's back

"Hey where did Pyhrra go?" Velvet asked

* * *

Pyhrra was walking very fast to Jaune's training area. She NEEDED to see him. She heard the heavy bag being punched as she opened the door. She saw Jaune punching the bag with Steve Rodgers, aka Captain America, was behind the bag. Peggy Carter Rodgers had just finished cleaning her pistol when she watched Pyhrra tackle Jaune crying into his chest.

"Steve" She motioned to leave them be for now

"I'll be back" Steve said as he walked out of the room with his wife

"Phyrra what's wrong?" Jaune asked concerned

"Jaune, there was a world where you were dead!" She cried "I-I don't like that!"

"Phyrra, death is a natural part of life. I don't know what happened but trust me" He puts his fingers under her chin and makes her look at him. "I'm not going anywhere just yet"

He kisses Phyrra as he picks her up and she wraps her legs around his waist. As he walks into his room he sets her on the bed. He lays her down on her back as he pulled away from their kiss, he sees her in all her amazonian glory. Jaune pulls off his shirt and she begins to take off her armor. Jaune gets takes off his workout shorts as Phyrra opens her legs revealing her entrance.

"No underwear Phyrra?" Jaune smirked as she blushed

"Shut up and fuck me Jaune!" Phyrra said impaitent

Jaune inserts his member into her as she moans in pleasure. As Jaune begins to thurst into her she wraps her arms around him and her legs around his waist. She starts to moan very loudly as Jaune pounded into her.

"Jaune! Jaune!" Phyrra moaned

Jaune suddenly flipped her and went back inside her with more force then before. Phyrra puts her face into the pillow as Jaune savagely pounded into her. Phyrra was screaming his name at this point as Jaune leaned down and kissed her. They switched positions to a reverse cowgirl as Phyrra was riding him with an amazing amount of speed. Jaune suddenly started moving his hips up into her as she screamed in pleasure.

* * *

Steve and Peggy heard the moaning and simply chuckled.

"He better marry those girls" Steve said after a little bit

"I think he will, now" Peggy rubs her hands on his chest "How about we get down to it?"

Steve smiled as he picked her up and walked off to a room

RODGERS was on the door.

* * *

**Sorry it took a while to update this y'all! Hope you enjoyed this little filler chapter!**


	21. New Host & Jaune Fucking Arc

**I OWN NOTHING! Also give my friend a warm welcome!  
**

* * *

Everyone was relaxing in the theater Pyhrra, Coco, and Fox had recently returned with Yastuyashi saying he was going out for a little while. Neptune was talking to Weiss and the girls asking them a question.

"How has Jaune been treated in your world?" Neptune asked with a big brother tone

"He has been doing fine as he is dating all of us!" Ruby stated as all of Jaune's harem nodded in agreement

"REALLY!? Holy shit remind me to pat him on the back and then punch him." Neptune said as he sat down

"What why?" Weiss asked with a narrow glare

"I grew up with Jaune and I know for a fact he is socially awkward so I know he struggled making friends. To find out he has a harem is both bringing me joy he found people who love him but also makes me worried that he will be hurt again. No offense." Neptune explained as the glare eased up

"None taken, I guess we keep forgetting that you were Jaune's only friend in that world. So I can see where you are coming from." Yang said with a smile

"Yeah but I prefer-" Neptune said as suddenly there was noise coming from the other side of the door

They heard...cussing? Suddenly the doors busted open with a man flying through the air. As he collided with the wall they heard a human scream. They all turned and instantly regretted it. It was SCP-096, and they just saw his face.

"OH SHIT!" Neptune yelled out as he reached around only to find his weapon missing "OH FUCKING OUM DAMN IT!"

It screamed! Before diving for Ruby!

"¡NO HOY FUCKNUT!" The man yelled in spanish as he tackled the SCP.

"US̴T́E͡D̕ ͞QUI͞ER҉E J͝U͢G̀AR AS͏Í̴ QU̡E̵ EN҉TONCE͏S ̕J̧U̕GAR͝ȨM̸O̶S ̀A̕SÍ̴ QÚE͏ ͢RƠMP̡E LA ṔI̛E͢Z҉A͞ ̢DE ͠MI̴ER҉DÀ ̛B͢O͜CA͟!" He snapped his fingers and a door appeared.  
"YOU!" He looks at Qrow while slipping out of his native tongue. "OPEN THE DOOR AND GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Qrow did what the man asked and saw what was behind the door. A stairwell with a big gap in the middle. Big enough that a grown man could fall through.

He dived over to Winter as the man Brawled with 096 and into the stairwell hole. As he was falling They could hear that human scream slowly fade away. The man shut the door and began crushing it into a ball.

"That should keep you busy for a while" The Man stated before putting the new Dimensional Calamity in a containment tube. They finally got a good look at him. He was wearing A labcoat reaching his heels weaved with Life fibers, vibranium, and adamantium, has hidden technology inside the coat housing a plethora of gadgets and the inside shows the life fibers in a blue shade instead of red. a cyan blue sleeveless turtleneck shirt with weaved in chainmail. baggy blue jeans with leather padding. A watch that was a gift from K.R.S. An Amulet made of a Silver platinum alloy with a huge Blue Diamond in the center. Brown boots with iron weaved into them and shoelaces that will double as a string saw able to hold up to two tons. gloves with the middle finger and thumb cut off and adamantium Void metal (pure black metal that leaves a dark blue streak in animations) claws on the fingers. Unbreakable glasses with slightly tinted blue epoxy lenses. a brown belt with hidden buckle knives.

"¡Hola! Encantado de conocerlos a todos! I am Madko Ota Sanchez. I'll be your host for the time being. As Zex is currently busy with things he entrusted me to help host this party. And Ruby. I AM SO SORRY I GOT 096 HERE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" Madko introduces himself before bowing at Ruby.

"Um...what?" Ruby asked in complete confusion

"Hold on who are you?" Glynda asked still a bit shaken up

"I JUST SAID WHO I AM!" Madko yelled out before he sighed "I am Madko Ota Sanchez! I'll be subbing for Zex while he is away dealing with his business. Also I will explain any SCP or any reality that I am aware of! Apparently this reality is one I have yet to see considering that he is showing two instances of the reality."

"So it's a double feature!" Nora said giddy

"SÍ! This is a world where Jaune is a good Ol' Fashioned Badass!" Madko yelled

"How badass?" Yang asked

"So Badass that he fought both Bigfoot and Steve Summers at the same time, saved them from the government, Killed an entire invading henchmen force, Intimidates everyone, lost his virginity at fourteen, fights with just a knife or bare hands, and still has enough time to get down and dirty with an amazon!" Madko said

"Awesome!" Nora and Velvet yelled

Suddenly SCP-999 charged at Madko as he smiled "Ah there you are old friend! I wondered where you went!" he patted 999

"You two know each other?" Ironwood asked

"Yup!" Madko stated

"Daddy!" yelled out an adorable voice

They saw as this little cat girl ran up to Madko as he picked her up with a smile on his face.

"Ah there is my little kitten now where is your mother?" Madko asked someone else walked through the doors.

"Right here" Said a woman who looked to be a mix of Felicia from Dark Stalkers and Shantae from Half Genie Hero.

"Oh and who are these people?" She asked with a raised brow

"These are the people we will be watching over until Zex gets back!" Madko said

"Wait isn't that the guy who broke into our house the other day?" She asked

"Uh..." Madko stated as he went into a flashback

* * *

The door to the Ota Sanchez house is kicked open as Zex walked in.

"YO MADKO I NEED A FAVOR!" Zex yelled out when he was suddenly hit in the face with a cannon

_"My daughter is trying to sleep." _ Felitae stated as she pulled out a spider

Zex booked it as he screamed like a girl while she chased him down.

Madko, who was in his office, walked down stairs and was witnessing his wife chasing Zex.

"Zex what the fuck did you do!?" Madko yelled out

"He nearly woke up our daughter!" Felitae stated as she finally got her hands on Zex and was twisting his arm off

"I thought she was going to school!" Zex yelled out

"IT IS TEN O'CLOCK AT NIGHT YOU DUMBASS!" Felitae said as she judo tossed him at a mountain only for it to open up and eat Zex alive.

"..." Madko looked at his wife "I love you so fucking much" he pulled his wife close as she started to blush.

Suddenly the mountain blew up "NOW IM FIRED UP!"

As Zex charged with a crazy smile at Felitae, until a little girl popped up out of no where and uppercutted him into space

"ZEX IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" He yelled as there was a twinkle where he flew off to

"Mommy, Daddy I'm hungry" the little girl said with an eye rub

* * *

"Yeah he was and he still wants a rematch." Madko said with a laugh

"With who? Me or our daughter?" Felitae asked

"Probably you considering he doesn't want to piss both of us off. That and he has been asking me if he can spar against you with me as the refree" Madko stated

"I'll think about it" Felitae as Ironwood glared at her "What?"

"What are you?" Ironwood asked

"I am Felitae Ota Sanchez. Why do you ask?" Felitae asked scared. She has seen that look before.

"I am surprised that an abomination such as yourself is married to an editor." Ironwood said as Madko handed his daughter to Felitae, who was trying not to burst into tears, and marched towards him.

Qrow, Ozpin, Winter, Glynda, Taiyang, and Summer sensing the anger booked it far away from a confused Ironwood.

Madko gives a sadistic grin as he pulls a syringe from his labcoat.

"W-what are you doing?" Ironwood asks.

"Oh nothing." He grins before a menacing aura surrounds him. Madko Stabbed Ironwood with the Syringe. "May thine clockworks punish the non believers. PRAISE THE BROKEN GOD MEKANE!" Madko yells before injecting the Clockwork virus.

He grabbed Ironwoods head and accelerated his painful transformation.

Ironwood's body slowly began to turn into a robotic entity as his bones turned into metal. His muscles tore apart violently as gears and clockworks formed from his body from the inside out.

His eyes turned into cameras, his brain into a Apparatus to process information. His yelling stopped as his mouth housed a speaker and his tongue was torn off and dropped. His yelling then continued as Gears began tearing through his skin.

Mason stopped when his organs became Mechanical versions.

Ironwood just stood there, bleeding as the Clockwork Virus strained to intensify the pain but never infect anyone else but ironwood slowed down. His body a mess of glass, wood, copper, bronze, iron, flesh, and gears.

"Never. Say that about my wife. Again." Madko threatens.

Madko snaps his fingers and Ironwood is instantly healed.

"Be glad Zex said to keep you ALIVE." Madko stated as he threw him into a wall

"Wait, Zex told you not to kill anyone?" Ruby asked shocked

"Yes but he mentioned I can still KILL but I must resurrect them. Which is so unfair." Madko stated as suddenly Sanji Izuku walked in with a card

"Here ya go! A message from Zex!" Sanji Izuku stated as he walked away

Madko read the note and smiled

"Looks like the realities are prepared but be warned the first one is gonna be a bit humorous and the second one is gonna be a bit worrying." Madko said as he floated up to a throne while carrying his wife and daughter, with the former snuggling up to him and the latter hugging him while saying "Yay!". As he sat down Sage asked a question

"Wait editors can marry!?" he yelled out

And like that chaos ensued with the couple being bombarded with questions on how they met, how old their daughter is, who was their best man, etc, etc.

"Calm down folks but yes editors can marry! It's not uncommon, to my knowledge, and there are many out there!" Madko stated as he kissed his wife

"Wait is Zex married?" Winter asked shocked

Suddenly Madko and Felitae started laughing like they told the best joke in the world.

"No he is not married" Felitae said as she held onto her husband as to not fall out of his lap.

"Why?" Ren asked kinda curious

"Zex doesn't date other dimensional people, which I call bullshit on considering his attraction to a certain bunny hero, he claims that it's better for the multiverse if he doesn't get into a relationship with them." Madko stated

"Wait what did you say?" Ozpin asked

"Zex doesn't date?" Madko asked as his daughter giggled

"No daddy the middle part!" She said with a cheerful smile

"Oh! Well you see-" Madko didn't get to finish as a pie collided with his face, no one dared moved as on the pan was a note that Ruby read out loud

Dear Madko,

It has come to my attention you are explaining my love life. While I do not mind this I must warn you that I accidentally started a war with Class-1A on this subject. So I would advise you to remain on your toes when you talk about this subject as a certain Alien Queen and Invisible Girl will be running around looking for ammo against me. This is just a heads up! Also they somehow dragged in the heroes All Might, Ectoplasm, Midnight, Eraserhead, Present Mic, and Nezu. Stay safe Amigo!

From your SCP disciple,

Zex

P.S. If this pie hits you in the face that is my fault. I was trying to throw it like a frisbee and clearly failed horribly. 

P.P.S Tell Felitae and Katherine I made rooms for them!(1)

No one said a word as the pie slid down his face as he showed an irritated face.

"God damn it Zex." Madko said with a sigh

"Oh dear" Felitae said as she rubbed her temples

"Mommy what's an Invisible girl?" Katherine asked

"A girl who can't be seen honey" Madko said as the pie magically was cleaned off him

"Kay!" Katherine said with a smile that burned with the purity of all the innocence in the world

_"Must protect"_ Was the thought of everyone, besides Ironwood, in the room

"How many people has Zex annoyed?" Weiss asked astounded from re-reading the letter.

"He didn't. He just causes unnecessary stuff to happen. While me and Madko love chaos he tends to go a different route." Felitae stated

"Okay then." Neptune said as he turned his attention to the screen "Why don't we just watch the reality and get our minds off of it for now."

Everyone nodded in agreement as the reality began to play.

**"Sir." A voice rang out behind Jaune who was wearing a dark red jacket, black and white striped shirt, light brown belt, tan pants, and white shoes.**

**"SIR!" Ironwood said as he came out from behind Jaune dressed as a hotel bellboy "This is a restricted buliding. Let me see an I.D." **

The audience, except Ironwood who was fuming, laughed at Ironwoods look.

"Ah Karma's a bitch!" Madko said as his daughter played on a Nintendo Switch with earphones on made just for her.

**"You have to go sir." Ironwood walked towards Jaune and put his hands on him "You don't-" Jaune chocked Ironwood and used him to knock seven times on the door some how shaking the screen.**

"THAT IS HILARIOUS!" Yang laughed as everyone, Except Madko and Felitae who remained on the throne with their daughter and Ironwood who was starting to look like a red balloon, was dying of laughter.

**With the final hit an peephole and room number is seen as a surprised Pyrrha, who was wearing a purple nightgown and a towel on her head, opens the door. **

**"Oh Heracules! What an unwelcomed surprise." Pyrrha said as she looked down to Ironwood **

"Why do you sound like that P-Money?" Yang asked

"I don't know" Pyrrha said as she looked sad

**"and you brought me a corpse how thoughtful." She said as Jaune threw the corpse of Ironwood behind him.**

**"Your beauty is your strength and I submit to it. Take me and let me know what it's like to be with a woman. There is nothing in this world but your power and me. The only man who can see it." Phrrha's eyes widened as Jaune got down on his knees. She looks down the halls in worry.**

"What is happening?" Ozpin asked dumbfounded

"I think Mr. Arc is confessing" Glynda said with wide eyes

**"Let me worship at your alter." Jaune takes her hand "Let me know the pleasure of a real woman!" **

**Pyrrha turns her head to look down both hallways.**

"Are you about to refuse him?" Coco asks

**Pyrrha grabs him and brings him close to her face. "I'm gonna tire you out brave Heracules. Break you upon my wheel!" She finished with a smile as it is shown that Jaune is completely off the ground and the door is shut. **

No one said a word as Felitae asked "Did she just get laid?"

"I think so hun" Madko said as he is glad that Zex left headphones just for his daughter so she can play her games in peace

"Sometimes I wonder where Zex finds this shit!?" Sun yells out completely baffled at how that happened. He also felt sympathy for Jaune as most of the guys didn't want to know what Pyrrha had planned for Jaune in that world.

"Dang girl you are kinky as hell!" Coco yelled out as Pyrrha blushed remembering what she and Jaune did earlier with a certain type of object.

* * *

Pin Head Jaune looked at his chains as they were covered in...ya get it.

"DEAR GOD IT'S EVERY WHERE!" He yelled out

* * *

(Cues-"Like a Friend" by Pulp)

"What's this song?" Nora asked

"I don't know but I like it!" Ruby yells out happily

**Jaune is shown in a suit as he sits on the hood of a limo that looks like it could fall off the cliff if he gets off. "How long are we gonna keep doing this Cinder? Till we are old and grey huh? We pretend year after year that one of us will kill the other but you know that neither of us would actually do it." **

**Cinder is seen with an eyepatch in the shap of the heart as she reaches for her gun. "Speak for yourself Jaune"**

**"Oh, looking for this?" Jaune asks as he shows her the gun.**

**"Hm." Cinder puts a finger on her chin "We seem to be at-uh-how you say? Stalemate."**

"What is happening?" Velvet asks

"I think they are old rivals?" Taiyang states as another pie flies into his face this time instead of Madko's. Summer read it out loud.

Dear Audience, 

Jaune and Cinder have been at odds for years. Except they were secretly lovers! Scandalous I know, but the diffence Jaune was deeply in love with her but she didn't love him back in the end. This was way before he met Pyrrha. Also sorry but I try not to spoil stuff about the future so bye!  


Love your second favorite psycho,

Zex

"I thought we wouldn't have to deal with him?" Taiyang asked as Summer finished reading.

"You don't he wrote that one before hand! I just decided to throw a pie at your face!" The Mask said as he jumped through a random window

"...Now I see why Zex has lost his mind." Felitae said with a sigh

**"Not from where I sit. Ah give it up Cinder, you got nowhere to go but down and you know why?" Jaune looks at her and slams his hand on the hood of the limo "Because you are a BAD PERSON. You don't know the first thing about DUTY or HONOR or FRIENDSHIP! You are just a coldhearted mercenary bitch. I'm tired of spending my life chasing you." Jaune turns forward with his forearms on his knees as he hunches forward.**

"Holy shit." Neptune said as everyone was speechless

**"What if I told you it wasn't for money this time? What if I told I" A chastity belt is shown with the Soviet Union symbol on it as she tossed it onto the hood of the limo "changed?" **

**Jaune looks down at it in surprise as he looks to Cinder "For reals?" He extends his hand out to her "Or is this another one of your tricks?" **

**Cinder takes his hand and pulls herself out of the broken window "No Jaune it is the real thing." She states as they go in for a kiss**

"Welp add another girl to Jaune's harem boys!" Cardin joked as they all busted out laughing

Winter and Weiss both thought one thing

_"Did something happen to her in the future?" _

**"нет (No)" Cinder said as she turned away frustrating Jaune (2)**

"Wait what?" Dove said

**"Wha-OH-FOR GOD! C'MON YOU SAID YOU CHANGED!" Jaune yelled**

**"You misunderstand Jaune I am, how you say, taken" Cinder said bashfully**

**"What? By who?" Jaune asked sad and shocked**

"Yeah I want to know who as well?" Scarlet said completely shocked

* * *

_**Meanwhile in all Jaune's girls minds**_

_"YES! HE IS NOT GETTING ANOTHER GIRL!"  
_

_"Would all you you shut up." said a mystery voice_

_"WHATTHEABSOLUTEFUCK!?"_

* * *

**Cinder looks behind her to show an unconcious Hazel.**

**"HIM!? AH YOU HAVE GOTTEN TO BE KIDDING ME!" Jaune yells in anger**

**"It is like you say, I am bad person. So is he, he is also rich, powerful, and quite well endowed" Cinder stated**

**Jaune starts making random noises as he puts his hands on his ears "Oi enough!" His hand slides down his face and grabs her wrist "Well I won't let you go"**

"Hell yeah Jaune fight for your girl!" Neptune said with tears streaming down his face like a proud older brother

**"It's not your choice Jaune" Cinder said **

**"No, I don't mean let you go in a romantic if you love something set it free kinda sting kinda way." Jaune said as his grip tightened **

Glass breaks "What?" Asks all of the audience

**"I mean I'm not letting you escape!" **

**"And I mean you don't have a choice. My Blackhearts have already infiltrated your compound. They are in position as we speak. If i fail to contact them with the abort code by midnight all of your friends will die." Cinder said as it showed a dance being stopped by a bunch of woman in disguise with Emerald ending it by pulling out a shotgun a shooting.**

"HOLD UP WHAT!?" Sun yelled

**"Oh BITCH! What those people ever do to you huh? Call 'em off!" Jaune said as he wrapped his hands around her throat and picked her up**

**"Or what? You kill me they all die." Cinder stated as she glared at him**

**The limo began to tip over the edge as Jaune dropped her back into the drivers seat and walked to the end of the hood.**

**"How about I make you call in that code while I drop your new boyfriend off a cliff!" Jaune said angrily **

**Cinder glared as she simply said "I'd rather die."**

**She popped the hood of the limo causing Jaune to fall off it as the limo tipped and fell over the edge. Jaune tried to stop it but as the limo fell saw Cinder smirk as she blew up. Jaune looked sad but then suddenly looked down at his watch. He had only one minute to get to the compound that he is overlooking. **

"OH SHIT!" All the guys yelled

**Jaune starts to run down the road to the compound. He runs by a destroyed motorcycle and runs to a discarded bike and drives it as fast as he can.**

"He's not gonna make it!" Summer and Winter yelled

**Jaune drives past the front gate as his face his shown with determination to save his friends. His family. He looks down at his watch as it strikes midnight. He looks up with fear and panic written all over his face. He jumps off the motorcycle, pulls out his knife while naruto running for a good second, and runs to the hangar the music is being played from. **

**He raises his knife into the air ready to start killing when he suddenly stops to see everything fine. No one is getting killed as it shows Ozpin dancing and getting kissed by a woman in a pink dress, Sun getting some action down under while he manages the DJ station, and Neptune is seen dancing. He notices Jaune and shows a vile that says "Rusty's Spanish Fly" on it with a smirk. **

**Jaune smiles and sheathes his blade into his jacket as Neptune winks.**

"And like that you can feel the bromance between these two." Neptune said with a chuckle. He remembered all the times where he and Jaune would end up in crazy situations like that. While not as extreme it was always a wingman type of thing.

**Suddenly the woman he was dancing with turns into a monster fly as does all the other girls. As chaos ensues Jaune pulls out his knife with a wicked grin and walks forward. Just another day.**

* * *

"Well that was awesome!" Ruby said with a smile

"Yes it was" Madko says with a smile as he sees his daughter well asleep

"I think we should all get some sleep" Summer said as rooms with their names on it appears

They all said_** their goodnights as Madko and Felitae put Katherine to bed. They have a smile**_ on their face and close the door quietly. When they walk into their room a bed and couch is seen. Madko sweats as he looks at his wife.

"Remember what happened earlier?" She said sweetly

"Yes?" Madko replied

"You still get the couch"

Madko sighs as he kisses his wife goodnight and lays down.

* * *

_**THREE HOURS LATER**_

Madko suddenly feels weight on his midsection and sees his wife with a mischievous smile.

"Zex soundproofed the room." Felitae said as leaned down

Madko smiled and pulled her down as she giggled.

* * *

_**WITH**_** ZEX**

Zex hears something he should not be hearing. "MADKO!"

* * *

**Hope y'all give Madko and his family a warm welcome! Also next chapter brings a bit of upgrades! See y'all later!**


	22. DEUS VULT

**And here we go! I own nothing of this little filler reality! This is just a little Crusader action! DEUS VULT!  
**

**I was inspired by the Bread Boys to make this little chapter!  
**

* * *

i Ren, An Ren, Lie Ren, Nora, and Yastuyashi were the first to wake up in the morning as they all waited for their friends to wake up.

"I wonder what's gonna happen today?" An Ren asked

"I don't know but why do I feel li-" Yastuyashi didn't get to finsih as Star Wars music played

**It was a normal day in Beacon Academy as they waited for the day to start. Lie Ren was many things but ready was not one of them.**

"Why wasn't Renny ready for the day?" Nora asked

**It was not known to many but Ren did have an older brother and he was...unique. He was well known through out Beacon as one of the most strict teachers as he was crazy into something called The Bible.**

"Why do I feel like this is about to get stupid?" Li Ren said as Cardin walked in tired

"What's going on?" He asked with a yawn

"Join us and find out" Yastuyashi said calmly as Cardin obliged and tripped over the chairs

"Are you alright?" An Ren asks as he looks up at her

"Yes ma'am I'm okay just needed a wake up call and that did the trick. Ow." Cardin said as he got up and sat in the chair next to Yatsuyashi. He expected him to get up and walk away because of their past but he guess he tolerated him.

"Do not assume that I would throw you across the room or move to another seat. You haven't caused any trouble recently and actually take fault for your actions now. So we are fine as long as you don't do anything stupid." Yatsuyashi stated as Cardin nodded in understanding

**Ren's older brother was someone that would be called old fashioned but he did love him. He just hoped he didn't just kick down the door like usual. Professor Port started his lecture when suddenly the door was kicked open by an armored boot. Who walked in made them all raise an eyebrow. He was six foot one wearing crusader armor. His weapon was a mixture between a broadsword and a shotgun. As he looked around the room his eyes landed on Ren. **

_**"Oh no" **_**Ren thought **

**"Ah there you are Ren! I hope you have been studying well!" The man spoke**

"Wait that voice belongs to Jaune!" Nora yelled out

"What is about to happen?" Ren asks

**"Yes brother of course!" Ren said as he nodded and walked out of the room**

**Ren turned his attention back to class when he suddenly walked back in and walked towards Blake. "Wait a minute let me see that book Young Lady!" **

_**"Ah shit"**_** Blake thought as she handed him the book as he pulled off the cover to reveal "Ninjas of Love" **

**Everyone froze as he looked at the book and threw it behind him and changed his sword into a shotgun and cocked it.**

**"NO WAIT PLEASE AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Blake screamed**

Nora and Cardin started laughing their asses off as Li Ren, An Ren, Ren, and Yastuyashi cracked a smile. Okay they would admit it was funny.

**"RUBY! ARE YOU STUDYING IN THERE?" Jaune asked through the door**

**"Yes sir, I am always studying!" Ruby said as she turned around to a plate of cookies**

**"Yes. Yes. YES. YES! YES!" Ruby said as she both ate a cookie and got louder  
**

**"Studying are you?" Jaune said as he kicked in the door**

**"NO! STOAHHHHHHH!" Ruby yelled as Jaune cocked his shotgun sword**

Nora, Cardin, and Ren were laughing as Li Ren chuckled, An Ren giggled, and Yastutashi simply let out an even bigger smirk

**Coco was eating at a table when Jaune walked up to her. She was used to him sitting with her but always found it weird he would eat with his helmet on. **

**"So Coco? Do you have a girlfriend?" Jaune asked as he began to eat his food**

**"Oh uh actually yes!" Coco got a mischievous smirk she had been planning this prank for weeks! "Actually I have a picture of her!" **

**"Oh do you?" Jaune said shocked**

**"Yes sir I do! Hear she is!" Coco snickered as Jaune looked at the picture and went silent.**

**"Sir? If you are mad it was just a prank-AHHHHHHHHHHH" Jaune had pulled out his shotgun at that moment and cocked it**

Everyone except Yatsuyashi was laughing now. He was trying to hold it back as much as he can.

**"So Weiss how have you been keeping up with your studies while back in Atlas for the break?" Jaune asked as he was on a video chat with Weiss and her family**

**"It's been good! Klein has been giving me some good reading material as well as some history!" Weiss said with a smile as Klein pumped his chest out in pride**

**"Well that's good! You have a brilliant daughter Mr. Schnee!" Jaune praised as Jacques Schnee and Willow Schnee both pumped their chest out as well. It's not everyday you get praise from the Crusader of Beacon himself! In fact Jacques heard that Weiss was the most pure student out of all of them. Secretly that was because Weiss didn't want to get a shotgun pointed at her.**

**"May I see your homework file? I want to review some of it!" Jaune said happily**

**"Yes sir" Weiss said as she moved the first file labeled homework as her family froze. **

"Oh Weiss did something bad~" Nora singed

"What could she have done to make them freeze up like that? It was labeled homework." Cardin pointed out as Yastuyashi agreed

**She gave him her "Homework" folder not her homework folder. How did they know? Well Klein and Winter stumbled upon it yesterday.**

"Uh oh~" An Ren said with a giggle

**When Jaune opened it he was shocked to see a picture of Ruby in a bikini. "What is this?"**

**Weiss froze "OH NO THAT WAS THE WRONG FOLDER!" **

**Jaune left the first link and opened the second one to see a picture of Naruto. "What have they been teaching you?!"**

**Jacques Schnee, trying to save her reputation, yelled "BAD THINGS WE HAVE BEEN TEACHING HER BAD THINGS!" **

**"Wait a second, she said that she was gonna learn ancient history!" Jaune yelled as he went to the final like and opened it only to find a chocolate bar.**

**"WHAT IN OUM'S NAME IS THIS!?" Jaune raged as they all began to panic "That's it! You'll pay for this" Shotgun cocking sounds are heard as he yells a battle cry**

Everyone was laughing at the absurdity of the situation as the next reality played.

**Jaune was seen getting out of the shower. "Another day, another trip down to the office" He opens his closet to find his armor missing.**

**"What the? NORA! Have you seen my arm-" He stopped as he found Nora dancing in his armor like the Joker then she charged**

**"HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Jaune screamed**

They laughed at that

"Oh how the tables have turned fearless leader!" Nora cackled

**Pyrrha was watching Castlevania when she opens the book to reveal a pistol. "This time I will get my revenge!"**

**Jaune kicks in the door "What is this!?" **

**"Oh oum no it's not anime! IT'S NOT ANIME!" Pyrrha yelled as she pulled out the pistol "NOT THIS FUCKING TIME!" Jaune kicked the pistol out of her hand as he pointed the gun and cocked it.**

**"NO ANIME!"**

Nora was on the floor laughing her ass off.

**Yang was sitting on the bench drinking a bottle of "kool-aid" when Jaune walked up.**

**"Yang! What are you drinking!" Jaune yelled**

**"It's kool-aid chill!" Yang said as she handed him the drink for him to inspect**

**"Your right. It is Kool-aid" Jaune said surprised for once**

"Wait what?" Cardin said shocked

"There is no way she is about to get away with that!" Yastuyashi yelled

**"I'm sorry" Jaune apologized**

**"Yeah you better be! Give me back my Kool-aid jeez" Yang said as she took a sip**

**"WAIT A SECOND!" Jaune yelled as he marched back**

**"What-oh no!" Yang said as he sniffed it and ripped off the label the said Kool-aid and in it's place said "Strawberry sunrise" **

**Jaune threw it behind him as he pulled out his shotgun.**

**"WHAT NO! NANIIIIIIIIII!" Yang yelled in fear**

Everyone busted out laughing. Seems like nothing can get past Jaune.

**Ren was watching TV when Jaune came crawling in.**

**"REN!" Jaune grunted**

**"What? What the hell? What happened?" Ren said**

**"They've taken the Jerusalem!" Jaune yelled **

**"Who did?" Ren asked**

**"THE OUM DAMN WEEBS!" Jaune said as he slammed his hand down on the floor "Ren! We need your help!" **

**Jaune slides a sword over to him "Take a sword!" **

**"But sir, I'm a heretic." Ren said **

**"It doesn't matter! Defend the Holy Land!" Jaune said as Ren looked down at the sword and back to Jaune. He gave a nod. Ren picked up the sword and charged.**

**"HAHHHHHHH." He stopped as he saw a bob punching bag and kicked it over "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"**

Everyone couldn't stop laughing as they heard a chuckle from behind them. "Glad y'all liked it!"

They turned around and saw Zex standing there with a smile.

"I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Zex yelled out with a grin

* * *

**Zex has returned! We even got a little bit of crusader Jaune! But the story is not over yet! Let's see how Madko and his family react to his early return! Stay tuned! **


	23. Gifts & Mr Ferdinand

**TIME TO BRING IN LE SCPS! I OWN JACK SHIT!**

* * *

Scarlet, Sage, Li Ren, An Ren, Team CRDL, Fox, and Yastuyashi decided to go into town for the day. Ironwood decided he needed a break from all the bullshit from yesterday so he said he will be walking back to Atlas and well...

* * *

"AHHHHHHHH" Ironwood yelled while being chased by a Xenomorph queen and her entire hive.

* * *

Yeah he wasn't having a good time. As they all waited for the next reality they noticed Madko and his family walking in with...ZEX!?

"GUESS WHO'S BACK BIIIIII" Zex sees Felitea's glare "IIIITERS!" Felitea smiles

"Oh my Oum Zex censoring his words!" Yang yelled

"Blasphemy!" Nora yelled

"I can censor my words whenever I want. Anyway Madko here has some gifts for all of you!" Zex said as he let Madko lead the show

"To Summer and Ruby: you both will be given Boots of the traveller with Fire enhancements making it possible to burn the area around you as you use your semblances. A Bracelet able to control gravity to a degree like in sonic riders Zero Gravity. Also added to the boots are the ability to reverse gravity to any direction she chooses. A modification to Crescent rose to become smaller at will till its just a little letter opener. A modification to your combat skirts to allow dust usage in her semblance. Silver wings tattoos on her back that turn into three more silver wings with red tips on the feathers. And for Ruby glasses that help her enhance her aiming and properly seduce Jaune. Heh."

They took the gifts and ran around the room.

"Wait! Waitwaitwait-GAH!" Zex was ran over by them

"To Yang: The quirk explosion, shampoo that keeps her hair in better condition and unable to be destroyed in combat. Boots that act like ember celica and can be extra fabulous. Hidden armor to keep her in the fight. And Back support gadgets integrated into her spine. Don't lie Yang, you know they can really hurt." Madko said with a smile as Yang smiled as she tried out her new Quirk.

"Ow-BAH!" Zex was blown up and thrown into a wall

"Ouch" Felitea said with a wince

"To Blake: A katana made of actual junk from various dimensions. (Adamantium leaf spring steel, eridium bike gears and other gears, SCP Bladewood grove handle, life fiber hockey tape binding.) A naruto headband, a cat tail that is mutated to also rattle like a rattlesnake. Hidden fangs, extensive ninja knowledge, a Kunai made of black diamond and connected to a ghostly chain to a ring for her middle finger, and the ability to summon floating hands that are skeletal and have a hole in the palm." Madko said "Also don't use it on Zex please. He is still lacking on some sleep so he is considerably weaker and more irritable."

Blake swung her sword around with a smile one her face as she tried out everything she had being completely satisfied. She even used her skeletal hands to pull Zex out of the wall.

"Ouch" Zex said

"To Weiss: Elemental manipulation, ferromancy, an upgrade to myrtnaster by adding Void metal, adamantium, and mirror steel. Giving the blade the ability to use magic and reflect any attacks at her back at her attacker. Chainmail in her getup to protect her. Hidden foot blades in her boots." Weiss smiled as she tried out all her magic and freezing Zex in place

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?" Madko said in exasperation

"To Nora: manipulation of electricity like the main character of infamous, a modification to Manghild to shoot TORGUE Brand Bonus Package Grenades out its barrel. I was gonna give you a cartoon body but Zex said he does NOT need that headache coming from you." Madko said as he and Nora both shared a laugh

"To Ren:Ability to produce mirages of himself when walking like killua zoldyck, turn completely colorless like Vanta black like his semblance. Control of chains on his fingers and can do various effects depending on the finger." Ren smiled as produced mirages of himself, turned completely colorless and summoned his chains with each finger.

"To Pyrrha: ferromancy, magneto levels of magnetism, Gear forms, a devil fruit that gives her body the properties of gold without the defects." Madko said as she also tried out all here abilities

"Get your mind out of the gutter please." Felitea said with a giggle as she blushed

"To Taiyang: Gauntlets that are extremely slim but contain an ability to form hard light weapons. Doom eternal's super shotgun with the godamn meathook and doomguy's Wrist blade on both arms." Madko said as they each appeared on his body

"RIP AND TEAR!" Yelled out a voice

"To Qrow: a Plasma rifle from doom eternal integrated and modified to act like a shotgun to harbinger. A Ring that gives him full control of bad luck and good luck." Madko said

Qrow felt something from his semblance that he never thought he would feel. Control. He smiled as he straight up PULLED WINTER INTO A MAKE OUT SESSION.

"THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!" Felitea yelled out

They both blushed as they pulled away with big smiles on their faces.

"To Neptune: his overcoming of his fear of water. A Minecraft conduit integrated into his weapon, Tri-hard... That is fucking funny." Makdo laughed as did everyone else but Neptune was laughing as well. A far cry from the original Neptune.

"To Velvet: a bunny tail to make her even more cute. An upgrade to her semblance to mimic other semblances, a Chocolate marble and red velvet cake mixed with carrot cake from Jaune Arc Ramsey, and her weapon upgraded to make dust constructs of weapons she gets pics of." Madko said as her mouth watered at the mention of the carrot cake.

"To Coco: You get a big fucking mini gun and a coffee cake." Madko said as she smiles at both...before looking at The Mask and pointing it at him

"Uh oh." The Mask said as he ran for his life

"At least it's not me" Zex said with a shrug as he finally got out of the ice

"To Sun: a jacket that gives him infinite banana and okra breadsticks, and that's it. Nothing else much." Madko said as Sun yelled out in a joking tone

"That's all I really need"

"To Ozpin: His old body and staff back and his Immortality finally gone. He needs to finally rest." Madko said as Ozpin glowed a bright light as he is in his old body

"Thank You" Ozpin or Ozma said with tears in his eyes

"You are welcome OH! You and Qrow also get refiling items! Ozma a Mug and Qrow a flask! Qrow gets Multiversal Hard Vodka, it's the shit, and Ozpin gets Homemade Black Coffee!" Madko said as both items appeared

"OH YES!" They yelled out

"To Winter: You get Ice Make Magic, Demon Slayer Magic, and The ability to take Qrows flask away." Madko said as Qrow paled

"Aw man" Qrow said as Winter celebrated

Zex smiled as he was about to start the reality when suddenly

"To Zex:" "Huh!?" "A Blade reaching 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide made of an alloy made up of every metal in the multi verse. A rough black flat in the blade while the edge shifts in a rainbow of colors. The handguard was pure gold colored while the thick handle wrapped in leather from a celestialsapian. The pommel was a gem cut like a teardrop shaped pearl that shifted between random colors and glowing with intense shine.

A stew of meats from the best universes around, And a cane that has a hidden blade in it. Handle is a dragon claw curved to the side to grip on. The black cane was embossed with pure silver decorations and the blade was pitch black. So black that no light is to be seen. Every time it slashes a dark blue trail can be seen like in anime.

Oh and a gun. It can turn into any gun you would like." Madko said with a smile as Zex had all the Items appear on him

"..." Zex didn't say a word as he was too stunned to move. He suddenly began to laugh a hearty laugh as he looked at his old friend. "I guess I owe ya something and I got just the thing."

"Huh!?" Felitea and Madko said as Katherine played with her Hell Tiger

"To Felitea: I gift you a blade I forged myself twenty years ago." A sword appeared in her hand as she looked at it. It was a double edged blade that gleamed a beautiful emerald glow. The hilt was intricately designed with what appeared to be a serpent coming down the hilt as the pommel showed a snake and tiger roaring at eachother with an emerald gemstone in between them. The guard was small but withing the middle was the Madko Ota Sanchez family symbol. "That sword is called "Battle's Heart" I hope you will take good care of her."

"To Madko: I gift you with the very blade that I used to start my journey as an Editor." A Guan Dao suddenly lands in front of him as he looks at it's design. The Handle has a Serpent moving up the blade as the leather, that was used to form the body, was covered in dark red dragon scales. The end of the handle had a ring in the shape of a Yin and Yang, The Blade came out the mouth of the serpent whose fangs guarded the hand of the wielder. "He is called "Serpent's Wrath" he will fight with you until the end of time. Take care of him and he will take care of you." Zex said with a smile

"Zex...We don't know what to say" Madko said completely shocked

"Nothing because right now we have a reality to watch and I would prefer Dr. Bright not finding us just yet!" Zex said as he turned his attention to the screen as they all got ready, Katherine went to her room to play with her Hell Tiger Cub.

**The camera opens up on Jaune in a D-class uniform holding a pamphlet.**

"What's a D-class?" Nora asked

"Basically people who are expendable." Madko said

"Wait what!" They all yelled

**"Walk in, Ask questions, get out. Walk in, ask questions, get out." He repeats. "get out-" "Mr Arc." "JESUS!"**

**"Remember to speak precisely and clearly to the Subject. He can very difficult to communicate with." The intercom say before the containment alarm sounds and Jaune walks in.**

**In the containment cell was SCP-082. Ferdinand the Cannibal.**

"THE WHAT!?" The audience yelled out

**He was humming along to a piece of classical music.**

"Interesting choice of music" Winter said impressed

"uhm Excu-" Jaune corrects himself.

**"Excuse me. Mr Ferdinand?" Jaune asks.**

"At least Jaune shows some manners" Weiss smiles

**"Oh I didn't smell you in here.**

"EXCUSE ME WHAT!?" Taiyang yells

"SCP" Madko says

"But!"

"No buts!"

** I must be coming down with the flu.**

"I doubt that." Blake said with a skeptical eye

** But do take a seat good sir. I'll fetch us some tea." 082 says.**

**Jaune shrugs. "Okay."**

**"I must say, I was speaking with the Duke of the Highlands the other day. Or was it the Dutchman? The resemblance is Uncanny. I do ask that you don't tell them this when you go out. Her demeanor is as hairy as her upper lip. Apparently the Duke's Uncle passed away from a terrible swan attack. Tragedy. He was relentless at shuttlecock I must say. Say, do you take on the wacking of the shuttlecock yourself?" 082 asks.**

"Um...what?" Yang asks

"He is talking like a Nobleman" Winter said

"Is ha a noble though?" Ren asks

"Judging by his clothes I do not believe so." Winter explained

"Uhm actually I'm here to ask some questions." Jaune says. "Ah." 082 sighs.

**"sooo anyway question one-" "Its always about the quslestions with you people. Coming into my Bloody room and asking me these bloody questions and not even caring for some tea or some good ole badminton. no no no. we don't have time for badminton." 082 rants.**

**"What the fuck is Badminton?" Jaune, Nora, Qrow, Taiyang, and Yang asks. 082 just cries and turns away from him.**

"Aw he is sad" Ruby said innocently

"He is a cannibal Ruby I think they get a pass" Pyrrha states

**"Although I can't blame you for not wanting in this room. Did you know that not one man has left this room without losing their head?" 082 says.**

**"Wh-what do you mean by tha-" Jaune was then instantly killed by 082 Chomping his head off. 082 then threw his body to a wall letting it stay there.**

"OH OUM!" Summer yells out

"That looked like it hurt" Yang winces

"I guess he should have gotten a HEAD of the game" Zex laughed with a smile as everyone groaned except Madko who was laughing

**082 turns away until, "ASSHOLE!" Jaune yells. The camera shows he was perfectly fine! and grabbing his papers from his corpse. "Eww." He says.**

"Excuse me what?" Velvet asked shocked

**"I say, You're not like those other chaps are you?" "Not technically no." "You're an Abnormality. An SCP like us! You Belong here with us!" 082 declares.**

"Um what is he saying?" Ruby asked

"It appear**s he is claiming that Mr. Arc is an SCP like him." Ozma states**

**"No! No! I'm not one of you. I'm not some Human atom bomb, I'm not some rapidly evolving virus, and I'm not some Shakespearian cannibal, I work for them." Jaune declares.**

"Who is Shakespeare?" Nora asks

"A Playwright" Zex said

**"I have no doubt of your pathetically fragile and feeble nature that you do. But tell me, are you allowed to leave anytime you want?" 082 asks.**

**"Oh come on dude I haven't asked one question and you've asked like 5 of them." Jaune sighs.**

"Yeah man let him ask a question!" Sun yelled as Neptune nodded in agreement

**"Ab-bab-bab-bab, just one more." 082 says.**

"FUCK YOU!" Neptune yelled out

**"Fine." Jaune sighs. He was then killed by 082 punching him into a wall.**

**It then shows Him reincarnating back into existence with his skeleton showing before his whole body clothes and all are back in existence.**

**"Does that hurt?" 082 chuckles.**

"I'm pretty sure it does!" Coco yells out

**"YES THAT HURTS YOU FUCKER!" Jaune rants.**

"SEE!" Coco yells

**"STOP IT-" 082 doesn't listen as he begins to repeatedly kill Jaune over and over again while 082 laughs at his expense.**

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Ruby yelled out in rage

GLASS SHATTERS, CARS SCREECH TO A HALT, BOMBS EXPLODE, EYES BUG OUT

"Did...Did Ruby just cuss out in malice" Zex said with wide eyes

"Yes, yes she did" Madko said nervous

**"We're getting nowhere. stop the test." a man in the observation booth says. Before 082 can continue he gets shot with a tranquilizer dart.**

**Jaune crawls out from under him and checks out the damage. "Wow, I even got on the lamp."**

"At least he got something out of it" Nora said with a nervous chuckle

**"Mr Arc please exit the containment cell." The guy in the booth asks.**

**"I'm out. Don't wanna be here when these bodies start voiding their bowels. Fuck you Mr Ferdinand." Jaune declares.**

"Agreed!" The Audience all yelled out

**He steps away and the scene changes to him walking into his own room with a few others and Zwei stuck in a wall.**

"Why is Zwei in a wall?" Ruby asked

**"Hey, How did it go?" Sage asks. he was on the ceiling.**

"Why is Sage on the ceiling?" Neptune asked

**"Not good. still better than that Black hole demon." Jaune remarks.**

"Black Hole Demon!?" Velvet yells out

**"Still better than that creature that eats memories." Scarlet says. He was by zwei and holding a cactus.**

"Why is Scarlet holding a cactus!?" Sun yells

"Wait CREATURE THAT EATS MEMORIES!?" Winter yelled out

"That is scary" Ruby said with a shiver

**"Wait it did?" Jaune asks. "It did what?" Scarlet asks.**

**Everyone was silent.**

"That is awkward" Ren said through the tension

**"Anyways I'm gonna hit the hay a little early today guys." Jaune says.**

**"Alright." Scarlet says.**

**"Hey, We're not freaks are we?" Jaune asks.**

"No why would you all be considered freaks?" Ruby asked

**"What?" Sage asks.**

**The camera pans to Jaune's face before going up through rooms showing a bunch of freaks. it then cut to black.**

"Oh" Ruby said

* * *

"How did y'all enjoy it?" Zex asked

"It was good a little confusing and...bloody but it was enjoyable." Winter said speaking everyone's mind

"All Righty! See y'all later!" Zex said as he popped out of existance as Madko and Felitea went to play with their little girl.

* * *

**This chapter was gonna come out earlier than it was deleted. I hate that I had it ready to go then next thing I know it times out and I find out it was not saved AT ALL! So I am sorry for the late chapter! See y'all later**


	24. Update! (Again)

**HELLO! EVERYBODY! I HAVE A NEW STORY OUT THAT YOU CAN NOT ONLY ASK QUESTIONS BUT OTHER AUTHORS TOO! IT'S CALLED "QnA Mansion!" IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS GO ON THERE AND ASK AWAY!**

**SEE Y'ALL LATER!**


End file.
